Mobius Forum Archive

Another Poem I've w...
 
Notifications
Clear all

Another Poem I've written, please rate it and give constructive criticism please.

3 Posts
2 Users
0 Reactions
241 Views
(@hukos)
Posts: 1986
Noble Member
Topic starter
 

And the Prophet Said....

A question never asked
Is it ever heard?
A cut that doesn't bleed
Can it bring pain?

I hope so
for what the prophet has foretold
I cannot withhold
'tis a grand thing to be had
This fortune of mine

An act of kindness
Yet to be repented for
Such a cruel rendition
Of such hasty indesicion

Sayeth the prophet
"Right be wrong
Yet wrong can never be right"
If that is so
Then I bid you goodnight.

 
(@thegreatmax)
Posts: 9
Active Member
 

Feels like a true prophet. It could go either way.

 
(@hukos)
Posts: 1986
Noble Member
Topic starter
 

To be fair, to anyone looking at this,, the last two lines in the third stanza were pretty much directly ripped from a Death Metal song (Yes.... death metal songs can have good lyrics, its just not always the rule ). Forgot to mention that, but I thought it fit so well into it. So give props to Kelly Shaefer of Atheist fame for influencing me there ^^;; I probably should have mentioned that right away, but whatever. Here's the link to the song with lyrics if you're interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um1CdqXoLFM. The song is called "Enthralled in Essence" and for a death metal song, its got some good lyrics surprisingly ^^

Figured it would only be appropriate to give due credit ^^;;

 
Share: