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Re: My Sonic Fanfic. Chapter 2 underway. PUT ON HOLD...

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 Kaze
(@kaze)
Posts: 2723
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AS OF 11-14-05: Ugh... I should have more of this here by now... anyways...
I haven't given up on this story, in case that's what you're thinking. But, I can't really add more to it for the time being. It's gone from my computer and I have to find the floppy disk it was backed up on. So, until then, sorry for any problems!
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Hey, kaze here. I've been around for not too long and I've decided to take up working on a Sonic story. Obviously, I have no idea what to name it, so I'll be coming back every now and then to start and add stuff to it. It's set a few years in the future, so the characters are a bit older. The main character, 9 year old Cream the Rabbit, is sucked into a situation involving the military, Shadow the Hedgehog, Rouge the Bat,a talking chao (me), Eggman, and some rich jerk named Jack who's trying to get Vanilla to marry him.

Please comment! I need to know what you think!

Chapter 1

Three years have passed since Dr. Eggman's latest attempt to conquer the earth. For Cream, it was a peaceful but odd period of time, for the mad scientist had seemingly disappeared.However, some of his robots were still causing trouble in Emerald Town and the surrounding areas. Of course, it was nothing her role model Sonic the Hedgehog couldn't handle; he did only save the world more times than the rabbit could count on her fingers. Sonic was eighteen now and dating Amy (though she doesn't know how long), much to Cream's dismay, as she spent a lot of time at her best friend's apartment listening to her say over and over again on the phone to her boyfriend, "No, I love you more..."

When she couldn't stand that, she left, without Amy noticing, and headed off to Tails' Lab, where she just sat there, watching him tinker with machines and type in data on the computer. Technology wasn't Cream's favorite thing, though; she had enough of that dodging flying badniks that seeming came from nowhere and, on more than one occasion, while watching Tails repair G-mel, the monitor the robot was hooked up to exploded for no reason.

Besides, Cream already had her hands full taking care of her chao, Cheddar and Cherry. These two were the offspring of her friend Cheese, who died a year ago. Cheddar, a normal chao and older of the two, wore a red sun visor on his head. It looked really silly, since it was too big for him. He was nothing like his father; in fact, he was often getting into trouble and dragging Cream down with him, especially when he "accidentally" broke her mother's fine china. Cherry, a hero chao and the younger sibling, wore a red beaded necklace with a jewel pendant in the center. Unlike her brother, she was sweet and innocent, and liked to sit on Cream's head once in a while.

Since Dr. Eggman's "disappearance," Cream and her mother Vanilla moved from the middle of Leaf Forest to Emerald Town, just a block away from Tails' house. It was a nice change of atmosphere, though the air quality wasn't quite the same. Cream didn't like the pollution, and car exhaust made her gag. She was glad to live a bit closer to her friends for a change.

Cream closed her journal. She was finished writing in it for the day. As she stood up from her chair, she gazed at an old picture of Cheese sitting on her desk.
"It really hasn't really been the same since you passed away," she said to herself. She was about to leave the room when she heard a loud crash from downstairs, followed by her mother's voice.

"Cream!"

"Great," she muttered. "Cheddar's at it again."

Upon entering the living room, she just happened to see Vanilla standing by a broken vase on the floor. She was holding a broom and dust pan. Sitting on the table where the vase once sat were Cheddar and Cherry, both gazing at the mess on they just made.

"One of them knocked it over while they were playing in the living room," Vanilla explained. "You need to keep a better eye on them, Cream. They're still young. And you know I'm expecting a guest this afternoon."

"Who is it again?" Cream asked, taking the broom and dust pan from her mother.

"It's Jack. The nice gentleman we met last month at the Annual Picnic on Emerald Beach."

"What?!" Cream dropped the broom, making the two chao jump as it clattered on the floor."THAT rich jerk?!"

"Cream, I told you not to say things like that," Vanilla said to her, "You know it's impolite."

"But, Mom, you see how he acts! He think he can win you over with money!!"

"Don't be so silly." Vanilla walked into the kitchen. "He knows I don't care about expensive things."

"He says," Cream muttered, still sweeping up the broken vase.

"Look," said her mother, "All I want you to do is at least try to get along with him when he arrives."

"Well I'm not going to be here, Mom. I'm taking Cherry and Cheddar with me and I'm heading to Amy's." Cream came into the kitchen with a small pile of trash on the dust pan and dumped it into the garbage can.

"I'll be back before it gets dark. Hopefully, Mr. Jack would have gone home by then."

"All right." Vanilla watched as Cream came back into the room, picked up her chao, and headed for the front door. "Be careful."

"Don't worry, Mom. I'll have G-mel with me. And I can defend myself."

Cream left out the door, with Cheddar at her heels and Cherry on her head, and closed the door, leaving Vanilla alone in the living room; she seemed to be rather worried for her daughter.

Amy Rose kicked the door open to her apartment and stumbled inside, her arms full of shopping bags. Following after her with a half-concerned, half-amused look expression was Sonic, carrying something in a backpack.

"Are you sure you got all that?"

"Yeah, Sonikku. Nothing I can't handle."

Sonic closed the door behind him, and put the grocery bags on a nearby chair. He then proceeded to take some of the parcels Amy was carrying. "I'll be handling these."

"Hey!" Amy said angrily. "I told you I could handle it!"

"Not when you were about to drop them!" Sonic replied. "You should be thanking me."

"Really now?" Amy had put the parcels on the coffee table and was gazing at Sonic now, with her hands on her hips. "Why should I? You never offered to assist me before."
Sonic flopped onto the sofa, placing the shopping bags on the floor. "I did,when we were in the grocery store, but you said, 'No, no, I can handle it. You don't have to do anything.' Right after that, you dropped the eggs on the floor, then slipped on the mess you made."

"You pushed me!"

"I did not! Though, I have to admit, you did look funny when you backflipped in the air before landing."

"Did I really?" Amy narrowed her eyes, letting Sonic know she was started to get ticked off.

"Nah," the hedgehog said, hesitating a little. "Not the least bit amusing."

"Okay." Amy smiled. She picked up a grocery bag from the chair and took it to the counter. "I think it's about time I make us some lunch."

"Sure thing. I could use some grub." Sonic picked up the remote from the coffee, sat back on the sofa, and began flipping channels on the television.

The room was silent for a few minutes, as Amy started putting up groceries, when knocking was heard at the apartment door. Before Amy could pause, Sonic had already answered the door.

"Hey, Cream! Long time no see!"

"Hi, Sonic-san." Cream walked inside the apartment,with both Cherry and Cheddar at her heels. When they saw Sonic, they jumped on him, nearly knocking him down.

"Whoa! Looks like these two sure have a lot of energy to burn!" He was struggling to get them off him with little success.

"So how have you been?" Amy asked Cream.

"Could be better." The rabbit flopped on the sofa next to Sonic. "My mom's having company over."

"Really? Who?"

"Jack."

Sonic finally had gotten Cheddar off his face and looked at Cream, puzzled. "Jack McHopperson? That rich guy who lives in that big mansion at the edge of Emerald Town?"

"That's him."

Amy gasped. "NO WAY!"

"Yes way."

"But he has NEVER come out of his own home and gone to another person's house. Especially yours!"

"First time for everything."

"Isn't he also regarded as the biggest jerk ever?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah."

Amy spoke again. "And very handsome?"

"I don't pay attention to those details."

Sonic's turn."And arrogant?"

"Yup."

"And smart?"

"Don't care."

Sonic scratched his head. "Really?"

Cream looked back at Sonic with a rather disgusted face. "I just can't stand that guy! I see him for what he really is--impolite, idiotic, and ugly-- but my mother is just too busy being flattered by him and loving all the flowers and gifts he keeps getting for her to even care, much less notice!"

"But, Cream," Amy started, "maybe if you took the time to get to know him--"

"That's not gonna work, Amy," Sonic told her. "You only met the guy once. That shiny smile and charm is only an act to attract the ladies."

"How do you know?"

"He told me himself. I've been dragged over his house too many times that I can count-- because of my reputation as a big hero and all-- mainly so he can 'tutor' me in the ways of 'being rich and famous.'"

"So, he isn't--"

"Not a bit."

Amy's face suddenly turned red for some odd reason. "So that time when we were invited there for dinner and he said he liked my evening gown--"

"Lied with a smile," Cream answered. She was gazing at Cheddar and Cherry around this time, who both were sitting on the floor looking at the television.

The two chao were staring at the screen, not blinking, as if they had never seen it before and were very fascinated by all the colors.

Seeing them act this way made Cream sigh.

"What's wrong?" a far away sounding voice asked.

"Huh?" The rabbit jumped, startled. She turned to Sonic, who was looking at her, worried.

"I said was there something the matter, Cream?" he asked.

"Uh, no." She sat back in the sofa, watching the TV. "Nothing's wrong."

"Hopefully..."

"I can't believe this... Late again..."

A scientist carrying a folder filled with lots of papers came rushing down a white corridor, mumbling to himself. As he went by, surveillance cameras lining the walls followed his movement.

He turned the corner and came to a stop in front of a secure-looking door.

"Okay, okay, now, where did I put that...."

Still talking to himself, he rummaged through his pockets until he took out a card and quickly swiped it on a device sitting on the left side of the door. A green light came on, and the door slid open. The scientist walked in, and the door slid closed behind him.

Inside, there was a small collection of empty stasis tanks around the room and other people in lab coats talking amongst themselves at various areas. The scientist headed over to the nearest table and slammed his thick folder on it, silencing the voices. An old man with a bald head and a short white beard walked up to him.

"Ah, Doctor Benedict, nice of you to finally show up."

"Oh, Dr. Marcos!" Benedict immediately jumped, a little startled. Straightening his glasses, he said, "I didn't see you there!"

"What's your excuse this time, eh?" Marcos raised an eyebrow. "Still messing around with things you don't have time for?"

"Well, you see, Doctor, I had to restore all the lost work that had been saved on my laptop because Kaze played with it and crashed the system. I spent--"

"So, it's that riduculous pet project of yours at it again, eh?" Marcos narrowed his eyes at Benedict. "Did I not tell you to start throwing away all the data you have on that creature?! You need to be working hard on this prototype just like the rest of your colleagues. You're lucky the military doesn't just cut off the funding for this project."

"B-but," the young scientist stammered, "Doctor, I can't just throw away my life's work!"

"'Life's work?' You call that thing you created your 'life's work?'" Marcos laughed haughtily. "Come on, Benedict! You're to young to know when something is considered one's 'life's work'."

The rest of the research team had all eyes on Benedict. He felt a drop of sweat roll down the side of his face.

Marcos seemed to ignore the agitated look on the young man's face as he turned to the other's and began to speak.

"May I have your undivided attention, ladies and gentlemen..."

Benedict stared at the ground, feeling defeated. He didn't really like the fact that Marcos was pressuring him to get rid of his research, and he didn't want to work on that prototype either.

The task had been assigned to all the personnel at the Johansen Laboratory Complex by the high officials at G.U.N.;
develop something to counter Dr. Eggman's rogue machines, to destroy them all and keep the citizen's safe. Hurry up with it, they said, lives are at stake.

Benedict could never understand what exactly the point of all this was. After all, there already was a big shot celeberty hero and his friends handling it.

"... this day, all of our hard work and dedication shall have resulted in something that benefits all of mankind..."

Benedict looked up through the crowd at Marcos. The old man was really selling this thing to the others, he thought.

"...a machine of revolutionary power and unparalleled technology..."

He watched as Marcos moved towards something covered in a dirty looking tarp among all the stasis tanks and place a hand on it.

"Ladies and gentleman, I present to you..."

He pulled away the tarp. Underneath it was like nothing anybody in the room had ever seen.

Benedict had to stand back as all the other scientists in the room crowded around it as though they were small children rushing to see one of the other kid's new toys.
He stayed a few feet away from them alone. He caught a glimpse of what looked like a metallic black and red spike as the crowd struggled to get a good view.

"...Metal Shadow," Marcos concluded.

All the other scientists cheered and clapped their hands. All except Benedict, who didn't see what he had helped create...

...but he knew exactly who this so-called prototype looked like...

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End of Chapter 1
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8-5-05: That's all for the first chapter! Things are really going to get started in the next part, so some of it will be up later!

 
(@swifthom_1722585705)
Posts: 859
Prominent Member
 

Which most people do, including me, then try telling us a bit more, like. Have a section of the story ready to present and ask people what they think...

 
(@chaos-xshadow)
Posts: 83
Trusted Member
 

That is a really cool story!Hey, can people add to it?

 
(@nightingale)
Posts: 73
Trusted Member
 

Wow, this looks great so far! I like the reactions between the characters. I'll admit you had me worried when you mentioned that Sonic and Amy were dating (oh no! WAFF!), but fortunately you kept them in character quite well. You've also done a good job bringing Cream and Vanilla, the forgotten characters, into the story. Even though Dr. Benedict has been in this story for only seven paragraphs, you've done a good job showing his character. I'm eager to see more! ^_^

 
 Kaze
(@kaze)
Posts: 2723
Famed Member
Topic starter
 

Thanks! I really appreciate it, Nightingale!

And chaos xshadow, I think people can add to it. I actually think it could be a very exciting thing. Just wait until I can finish either the rest of the chapter or more of it, okay?

By the way, can someone come up with a title for the story? I can't think of anything...

Keep those comments/criticisms coming people! I'll respond when I get to ya!

 
 Kaze
(@kaze)
Posts: 2723
Famed Member
Topic starter
 

Wow... it's amazing how much of this story I posted so far... Anyways, folks, here is some of the long-awaited next installment!! Get ready for some robot smashing, chao bashing action (sometime in this chapter)!!
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Chapter 2
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At the edge of Emerald Town, not too far from the road that led to the shopping district of Central City, sat a large and very lavish estate surrounded by a tall, black fence and concrete wall. On the archway over the fence, the letters "J" and "M" were engraved in gold and silver.

Immediately behind this fence was a very beautiful front yard, which about ten times the size of the biggest playground in the town. It had the greenest, fresh-cut grass anywhere, and several gravel paths snaked their way through the grass to the gigantic garage from other parts of the estate. Placed ever so precisely in the center of this vast front lawn was the grandest fountain money could buy. made entirely of marble, at the very top of it stood were two small cherubs standing on their toes facing opposite directions from each other; water was squirting from their mouths.

The mansion itself was an even bigger building than the garage. The sunlight reflected beautifully from the tall white support pillars and exterior, casting a glow onto the Olympic-sized pool in the backyard. The roof was a magnificent burgundy color, tiled nicely and neatly kept together thanks to the several repairmen perched on the surface to make sure every shingle was straight.

Several concrete paths branched out from the rear of the building to the swimming pool and beyond there to a mini-golf course and another building about the size of 2 or 3 average sized houses.

Inside the corridors of the mansion, maids, cooks and other servants scrambled about, making sure everything was kept perfect and spotless. It had to be this way; if there was even so much as a dust speck on anything or a very ugly angel figurine out of place, the culprit responsible would be sent packing to the Station Square Unemployment Office.

Standing inside the giant living room near the front doors of the estate stood a very tall, very old elk. He was wearing a navy blue tuxedo suit with a matching bow tie and shoes, which all seemed to look about as old as he was. His great antlers, which were about one-and-a-half times the size of his large head, branched out in almost every direction. He had a stern, almost disgruntled look on his face; his somewhat gentle eyes, looking through a pair of glasses perched on his muzzle, were fixed on the door way across the room. He was growing more impatient by the minute, and he didn't like it.

When it came to the point that he felt he should just walk away and find something else to do, a voice called to him from across the room, echoing loudly as it reached the elk's keen ears.

"AHA! So you think you could just go on without me, eh, my favorite old butler?"

The elk froze in his tracks. He turned to look down at a short, gray rabbit wearing a black suit and tie. He was walking towards him, his shiny new black shoes tapping noisily on the floor. His head-fur was combed back and wet as though he had put too much gel and spray it it; his ears, however, were sticking sticking straight up in the air, and he had a rather toothy grin on his face. The elk tried to twist his face into a positive expression as he spoke to him, trying not to sound disgusted at the way he looked.

"Glad to see you, too, Master Jack," his deep, wise voice echoed off the walls.

"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GOT IT, WATSON, MY BOY!!!" Jack shouted obnoxiously.

"That's Walter, sir." The butler was straining to keep his face in a smile. "You should take pains to at least remember my name..."

"Whatever," Jack said coolly. "So, is the limo ready out front?"

"Yes sir."

"Good! The time is near..."

Walter raised an eyebrow. "For what, sir?"

Jack glared at him in disbelief, his mouth wide open. "Do you not know, Willy--?!"

"WALTER!!"

"My upcoming date with the lady who lives on 234 Emerald Lane! You know, Miss Vanilla!"

The elk was looking more disgusted at this guy than any other time in his long life. "How could have I forgotten, sir," he said, putting as much hatred, sarcasm, and contempt in the word "sir" as possible, "about such an important engagement you have arranged!"

"All's forgiven." Jack turned to the doors, both hands at his hips with a look on his face of utter bravado and glee and shouted, "Okay, I'm going to put out ALL the stops for this one! If all goes well..." The gray rabbit's face twisted into a very serious expression now. "...I'll have my bride, and a son who will carry on the family name--"

"Master Jack."

Jack whirled around. "What is it now, ya old coot?!"

Walter was trying to keep any trace of fury off his face at this point. "You are aware that Miss Vanilla is a single parent with a NINE-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER who owns a couple of PETS, right, SIR?"

"OF COURSE! I'M NOT SENILE LIKE SOME PEOPLE!!" Jack shouted. "I've already found out a way to deal with the likes of that little brat... Anyway, we don't want to be late for my big date--and big news appearance-- so let us go now, Waylen!!"

"THAT'S WALTER!!!" the elk bellowed angrily.

Jack ignored him; he instead proceeded to kick open the front doors of the mansion, letting in blinding sunlight.

The two men walked down the front steps to the awaiting limo a short distance away on one of the paved roads in the huge front lawn. Much to Walter's displeasure, just beyond the gates was a crowd of screaming women and girls and a newstruck with an eager female reporter hanging out of the driver's side front window. The elk put his hand on his face and sighed.

"This is going to be a very long afternoon...."

"COME ON, G-MEL, QUIT FIDGETING!! I HAVE TO CONNECT THESE CABLES SO THAT I CAN DOWNLOAD THESE NEW PROGRAMS INTO YOUR SYSTEM!!"

"NEGATIVE!! NEGATIVE!! ACCORDING TO MY MEMORY DATA, YOU SPECIFICALLY STATED 'THAT INSTALLATION WAS INADVISABLE AND THAT THE PERSONALITY SUBROUTINES WERE STILL IN THE TESTING STAGES!!"

"I NEVER SAID THAT! DID MY COMPUTER CAUSE YOUR SYSTEMS TO CRASH AGAIN?!"

Miles "Tails" Prower freed himself from the tangle of cables and wires around him and scrambled to his laptop.

"MY SENSORS SAY I AM FUNCTIONING NORMALLY, MILES," G-mel told the young fox in his robotic voice. "PERHAPS IT IS YOU WHO HAS BEEN DAMAGED SOMEHOW?"

Tails ignored him and continued to type furiously on his keyboard. He had been trying for more than four hours to finish upgrading G-mel, and as a result, his lab, right around the corner from his house, was about as messy as it had ever been.The robot was refusing to go through with it, even though it was Creams request. In the past three years since he started staying with her and her chao, he had a speech program installed, which allowed him to talk, self-learning software, though it was deleted after a while, and now he was going to get personality subroutines.

Tails paused for a minute, studying the screen through his glasses. Something seems to be wrong here, he muttered to himself.

IS IT THE PERSONALITY DATA? G-mel asked.

Huh? Tails turned his head.

THE PERSONALITY DATA, MILES.

Oh. No, its not. Its something else. Its another project of mine. You see, theres an error in the blueprints.

G-mel nodded understandingly.

Dont worry about the data, G-mel. There are a huge variety of em encrypted in there. Its programmed so that when you choose the persona you want the others will be stored in a subdirectory within your memory. If you want to change, just access it and choose another one. Simple.

Tails turned back to his laptop. I just want to ask you one thing though

WHAT IS IT?

Why is it that you dont want the data?! Theres nothing wrong with it!! And I told you I was done with all the tests!

INSTALLATION OF PERSONALITY SUBROUTINES WAS NOT TO BEGIN UNTIL TOMORROW AT TEN HUNDRED HOURS.

Tails turned away from his laptop again, growing very impatient. Well, never mind that. I really want to get this upgrade over with so that I can work on my other inventions.

INSTALLATION OF PERSONALITY SUBROUTINES G-mel started.

YOURE GETTING THEM NOW! Tails bellowed. IM RUNNING BEHIND SCHEDULE BECAUSE OF YOU!

The robot stood in silence for a moment. AFFIRMATIVE, he then said.

Finally, Tails thought. I can finish this once and for all

Adjusting his glasses, the fox got up from his chair and grabbed a few cables that were sitting next to his laptop. Okay, he told G-mel as he connected them to the back of the robots head, provided that nothing goes wrong, this shouldnt take too long.

AFFIRMATIVE, came G-mels reply.

Tails connected the other ends of the cables to the laptop, sat back in his chair, and began typing again. Alright, then Here goes Accessing PERSONA.EXE

MILES.

What is it?

DO YOU THINK THAT CREAM WOULD APPRECIATE THIS?

Hopefully. She only requested the personality program because she said you seemed too plain. At least thats what she said.

Whats wrong, G-mel? Tails paused and looked up from his computer screen. Dont want the data anymore?

G-mel jumped, startled. WHAT?

I said, whats wrong? Tails said worriedly. You look spaced out, man.

G-mel turned his head away from Tails. IT IS NOTHING

CHEDDAR! CHERRY! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TWO DOING?! Cream shouted.

The two young chao had been peacefully gazing at the television in Amys living room until Cheddar happened to find the remote control and changed the channel to a monster truck show. Cherry didnt want to watch it, so she had taken the remote from him to try to change the program. This had triggered a wrestling match between them, each trying to get their hands on the remote

The wrestling ended once Cream raised her voice. Cheddar and Cherry stared back up at Cream, a bit frightened of her.

Amy Rose came back into the living room wearing a pink apron embroidered light blue text. The giant platter she carried piled high with pastry snacks obscured most of it. She had a very tense look on her face as she sat the platter on the coffee table in front of Cream and Sonic.

You know, Cream, she said, Im surprised at you. Ive never heard you yell at the chao before

Only when they really get outta line, Cream replied, which isnt too often.

But theyre still young. You know theyll learn sooner or later.

Yeah. Only Cherry gets it faster than her brother does. Cream sighed. Sometimes I dont know what to do with them anymore

Cream Amy looked even more concerned.

There was silence in the room now. Sonic, who had been watching the television, turned to the slightly depressed rabbit and his worried-looking girlfriend and then to the platter of snacks in front of them. Shifting his gaze back up to Amy, he spoke.

Hey, uh, um can we eat now?

Almost at once, Amy cast an angry glance at him. SONIC!

Come on! I just wanna get have one of those pastries! the hedgehog protested. I havent eaten all day, you know!

Amy put her hands on her hips. Oh, REALLY? How can you even THINK about food at a time like this!

At what--?

LOOK! Amy pointed a finger at Cream, causing the rabbit to shrink away a little in surprise. Cant you see how upset Cream is, Sonic? Youre SO insensitive!

Insensitive?!

Yes! Exactly what I said. Insensitive!

Get real! Im the most sensitive guy ever! I just want some food!! Sonic began to reach for the snacks.

Youre not getting any! Amy said, taking them away. You are just going to starve until you apologize.

Apologize for what? I did nothing wrong!!

THATS ENOUGH!! Cream finally shouted. Im sick of hearing you two argue over me! Its pointless!

Sonic and Amy stared at her in silence, looking as though they had just been slapped in the face. Cream stood up and scooped up Cheddar and Cherry from the floor.

Cream, what are you doing? Amy finally asked.

Im leaving. I just need some fresh air

Dont you want anything to eat?

Im fine, Amy. Cream turned to see her concerned-looking best friend. Ill see you and Sonic later. She headed to the front door, opened it, and left, closing back behind her.

Amy Rose was going to go out the door after her, but Sonic grabbed her arm. She turned to him, slightly angry.

Sonic! What are you doing?!

Let her go, Amy, the blue hedgehog told her. Its worthless.

But Amy started.

Sonic shook his head. You need to stop doing this every time she leaves. Its not going to make a bit of a difference. This is one of those times where she just wants to be by herself.

Amy glared at Sonic with disapproving eyes, then calmed down. Okay, she sighed.

Sonic let go of her arm and smiled. As Amy sat down next to him on the sofa, she let her head sink to his shoulder.

 
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