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SonicChaoticLegacy pt.1(Updated)

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(@chaossonic001)
Posts: 17
Eminent Member
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Sonic wandered Station Square walking wherever he wants to when he can...but,something was happening to the Master Emerald..something terrible.

Knuckles stared at the master emerald."It's been shaking and glowing for almost an hour now..what's going on"? Suddenly the Master Emerald explodes into little shards."Wha..t's going on"?Knuckles is blown against a stone wall from the blast as he stares at the things in front of him."C..c..chaos"?

Sonic chomps on his chilli dog and grins."A perfect start to a perfect day".Sonic walks towards a bench and sits down happily eating his chilli dog when,a mysterious stranger walks up to him."Hey bud sit down if you"..Sonic suddenly is thrown off the bench in a swirling mass of water."No..that's impossible...Chaos"?Sonic stares at the green eyes of the gentle monster.Water splashes to the ground from Chaos's wet feet as he carries Sonic in his arm.

Knuckles stares at the creature in front of him."You are the same shape as Chaos but,..you're a tree"!The plant Chaos walks towards him leaves fluttering off of his branch like body.

Tails is under the Tornado2 giving it a quick tune up when he notices a shadow other than his own appearing next to him."Hi Sonic I'm almost finished fixing th..who and what are you"?Tails is dragged to his feet and lifted in the air by a being made up of pure electricity."Ch..aos"?

Chaos0
Sonic spindashes out of Chaos's arm and,jumps to the air and homing attacks the top of Chaos's head.Chaos explodes into a puddle of water then,reforms back into himself."Had enough"?Sonic asked Chaos as the water monster grabbed Sonic and slammed him into a car.Sonic kicked Chaos away and attacked Chaos's head again splattering Chaos onto a wall.Chaos reforms and jumps onto a light pole firing laser orbs at Sonic as he jumped away trying to dodge the assault.Chaos jumps to the ground and rushes towards Sonic.Sonic quickly dodges the rush and turns into ball mode and spindashes right into Chaos's watery skull.Chaos splatters into a water puddle and drifts into the sewers.

Page 1
Please post comments.

Tails flys over the Electeric Chaos monster nearly dodging his electeric bolts when the Electeric Chaos stretches it's arm and grabs Tails and,slams him into the ground.
Thundos0
Tails stares at the creature when suddenly a bright light washes over him and fills his head with information."T..tikal?His name is Thund..os??Wait don"..Suddenly Tails turns to see Thundos glaring at him with his green jewl eyes waiting for a reaction.Suddenly Tails jumps over Thundos and tail swipes his water canister.Water sprays at Thundos and short circuits his body causing a huge electrical explosion.Thundos has disappeared..."Hey where is it"!!?!?Tails searches and tears through his workshop.The chaos emerald used to power tornado2 was missing.
Vinos0
Knuckles struggled with the tree monster as it twisted vines around Knuckles's body and started crushing his bones.Suddenly a bright light washes over Knuckles and a young woman's voice projects into Knuckles's skull."Tikal is that you?What no way...a different Chaos monster??Vinos"??The light disappears and Vinos stands there still with Vines twisted around Knuckles when the Sun comes out and rays of light pour over the land.Knuckles thinking fast takes off his shoe and reflects the sunlight off the metal plate on his shoe and blasts it into Vinos.Vinos twists and turns and the leafs and vines covering his body begin to burst into flames.Vinos runs off the island falling into the water below.Knuckles snikkers and turns to the Master Emerald."Huh?A chaos emerald is missing??That tree guy took one when I wasn't looking rrr"!!!!

Page 2:Please post comments.

Sonic wiped the water off his face and stared inside the sewer."He could be anywhere...hmmph!..with his body he can easily blend in with the water...I'll never find him this way".."Wait!I can't give up now.Innocent lives could depend on me.I have to go down to the sewers"..Sonic jumped down into the wet and smelly sewers splashing all kinds of things onto the dark slimy walls."Bleh!I know all Knucklehead wouldn't like this place"!
Knuckles studied the area around him."I wonder how'll I'll find that guy now that he's in the water...if only Tails was here..he'd know what to do!Actually that's a good idea...I'll go ask him"!Knuckles heads off to Tails's workshop...

 
 Pach
(@pach)
Posts: 2234
Noble Member
 

Okay, one important thing you have to bear in mind. Pacing. This thing reads so darn quickly and is quite simply, a shambles and poorly written thing because of it. Slow the events down. Of course, we don't want them to proceed at a snails pace but with things moving this quickly and without much explanation its not a very good story.

 
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