that was wierd....
Socks, I think when he said "opinions", he was after some slightly more detailed critique than that. You've been warned about posting things that don't add to a thread before.
On topic: That was an interesting read, although some of the rhyming words were a little on the shaky side in terms of grammatical correctness. Of course, that's not always such a large issue with poetry... And considering the subject matter, it kinda works.
Not exactly Wordsworth, but not McGonagall either. =P
~SilverShadow.
Thanks! ^_^
I don't consider myself an expert poet, but I'm glad you liked it! And I did kinda force the rhyming, I guess as I keep writing poems, it will just come naturally. What kind of advice do you have for me?
P.S. I know who Wordsworth is, but who's McGonagall?
if you cannot rhyme without "forcing" it, even just "a bit", as you put it, then do not bother. when i read poems, i look for a message, not a rhyme scheme. you undermine your message when you use unconvincing and unnatural phrases just because they happen to rhyme. i'm not saying you should abandon rhyme entirely - but if you notice yourself attempting to build a rhyme scheme by forcing yourself to pull random words out of your ass, stop and remember what's important.
