I've been working on this story for awhile now and I would like comments or critques on what you think. I'll post the prologue for now.
Prologue
The torrents of rain pounded the ground relentlessly. The night sky refused to let the moon shine; clouds remained in front of it snubbing its reflective light. The darkness blended the surrounding matter together. The trees swayed, creaking and groaning against the strong wind. It threatened to tear them from the ground. If anyone had been out on such a dreary, dismal night they may have noticed the movement of something out of place. Who would suspect anyone to be wandering at this time of hour?
The human moved slowly, one hand wrapped tightly around a bundle, the other lay limply at his side. He didnt know what he would do if he was attacked again. His wrist had broken when he had tripped. He had strict orders to not damage the package in any way, so when he had been caught off guard in the darkness and fallen over a tree root his only choice had been to try and catch himself with his right hand. He couldnt remember if he had cried out in pain or not. He only recalled the hot white flash that had appeared before his eyes and then the pain that racked through the rest of his body.
That had been earlier that night. He had many other wounds now and his wrist was only a dull ache compared to his other injuries. What could be so important about one package that he was continuously being attacked? The package had a rather powerful magic seal which was encrypted with all four elements. He could have easily broken the water one, but what was the point when the other three would remain.
He leaned against the nearest tree, his dark bangs hung limply in front of his light grey eyes. His breathing came ragged and he tried his best to control it. The rain washed the blood from his brow. He didnt mind it at all. It was his element after all. He lifted the package higher, raising it gently onto his shoulder and supporting the bottom with his elbow. It was strange; the package remained warm, almost if something were alive inside it. He winced as it bumped against his side where a deep cut ran diagonally. He wasnt sure how much longer he could go on. The loss of blood made him dizzy, but he couldnt stop now. If it wasnt for the rain he would have easily been tracked; his blood would have given him away. He managed to catch his breath. Breathing a bit more evenly he pushed off from the tree with his shoulder. He was still most likely being followed, but only a bit more and he would be at his destination.
He had traveled this road many times and knew the twist and turns well. Even with his vision blurry and being lightheaded his feet seemed to lead him in the right direction. Step after step he took and with each one he wasnt sure if he would make it. The blood from the deep wound on his side dripped to the ground mingling with the already muddy earth. The trees seemed to blur into the darkness. He seemed to be drifting. Somewhere he was trapped between reality and unconsciousness. How he wished to leave the conscious world behind. He couldnt give in yet though.
All of a sudden he saw it. A light pierced through the darkness. He had found it. With what remained of his energy he stumbled up to the door of the small cottage. Raising his uninjured hand he knocked as loudly as he could muster. His sight failed him then, but he heard the distant sound of a lock sliding back and the door creaking open before the darkness took him.
Thanks lots if you took the time to read. Please tell me what you think
I liked it. You left me hanging too early though. I want to read some more.
I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reading and reviewing. ^_^ Well here's the first chapter.
Chapter 1
Alex! Alex! He could feel someone shaking him. Come on get up. I know your not dead yet. He opened his eyes to mere slits, but immediately closed them again from the blinding light overhead.
Turn it down, he mumbled, rolling over onto his stomach. He winced in pain as he hit his broken wrist. It was enough to jolt him back into reality. He tried to sit up, but found that he was wrapped tightly in blankets and ended up falling onto the floor.
Alex! Just great! I hope you didnt hurt yourself again. He opened his eyes for the second time and probably would have jumped back if it wasnt for the tangled mass he was caught in. He was face to face with a young girl. Her fiery red hair hung down on his face as she leaned over to get a better view of him.
It took me two hours to wrap up all your cuts and bruises and what kind of thanks do you show me? she seemed to wait for an answer, but was met only with a somewhat cold, confused stare.
Well fine! Ill tell you then. Nothing! You showed me no thanks or anything! She sat back on her knees, her face a mixture of hurt and anger. She looked on the brink of tears. Oh why of anyone did it have to be her, he groaned inwardly, trying feebly to untangle his feet.
He gave up, turning back to the young girl, And why should I thank a little brat like you? What are you, three or something?
She looked taken aback and the tears were replaced with anger. No Im five and a half! She shouted shoving five fingers in front of his face. See count em! One, two three, fou-
Thats quite enough Sarah, an older woman strode into the room, picking up her rambunctious daughter on the way. Now you leave Alex alone. Hes been through quite a lot today. She scolded.
But, but mommy he insul insulbeted insulted, her mother corrected, my age.
Its okay; youre a very big girl Sarah. Now why dont you go play with your toys? Alex and I need to talk
Okay, Mommy, Sarah walked slowly towards the entrance to the room, looking back every few steps.
Sarah, her mothers voice took on a threatening tone.
Im going, Im going, and with that Sarah skipped off.
There was a moment of silence between the two, where the older woman seemed to be thinking. She looked around the room. Noticing the many unused bandages scattered around the room.
Mind helping me up Renae? Alex broke the silence between the two reaching his uninjured hand upward. Renae seemed to regard him with a certain kind of contempt. Sighing she bent downwards and began untangling his feet from the blankets.
Alex I thought I had taught you better then this. Why were you out tonight? You know it's not safe. She had managed to free his right foot. I do have to admit though it was fun to see my five year old daughter push you around, she smirked. This also does serve to counter your proclamations. Always bragging werent you oh I control the water element, fear me blah blah blah. She laughed sardonically. I truly didnt know what to think when I saw you passed out on my doorstep.
Oh lay off it Renae. That was a long time ago. I was just learning and to tell you the truth you werent the greatest teacher either. Fire seemed to erupt in her dark green eyes and Alex could tell that he had hit a nerve.
Do you want to say that again, Renae said in a voice somewhat close to a growl.
Uh oh, Mommys mad. Sarah had been watching the whole conversation from the door.
Yeah I do! You were the lamest, most inexperienced teacher I have met in all seventeen of my years! The room seemed to heat up by several degrees.
Say that again, her voice was laced with malice. Alex soon noticed that he had gone too far. He had forgotten how easy it was to push his former mentor over the edge.
C-calm down Renae, I didnt mean any of it, he gulped seeing that his words seemed to do noting to calm her down.
I invested a lot of time in teaching you and now I have no idea why! her voice rose with each word until she was almost shouting. All you ever do is complain, complain, complain! the room continued to rise in degrees.
Uh oh mommy is going to burn the house down. Sarah said above her mothers words. Mommy please stop. Sarah ran out from where she had been watching and latched onto Renaes leg. Renae faltered her whole body tensing. She looked at her daughter then back at Alex, then to Sarah again. She wanted to continue her tirade, but she knew the things she could do in her anger. She could control the fire element, but sometimes it got the best of her.
Come on Alex, she sighed letting out a long shaky breath. She extended her hand out, helping him up from the ground and back onto the red striped sofa. Finally untangled from the wayward blankets, he stretched his legs out, wincing from the pain that throbbed from his side.
He seemed to want to say something, but she interrupted him, Never mind what you said, dont waste your breath on some useless apology. I just dont really care. For now just rest. I have many things that need to be done. She lingered for a moment, Come on Sarah, she grabbed her by the hand. She walked quickly from the room, flipping the light switch off in the process.
Alex lay in the dark for quite a while. Just listening to the rain pound the roof. His thoughts drifted over the past few days. So many things had happened. So many awful things, but what hurt the most was that he couldnt saveher. His best friend, he had watched her die. He pushed the thought away almost as soon as it had come. He couldnt bear to relive it. Instead his thoughts turned to the package. Renae has it now, he whispered aloud. Everything will be okay with that he rolled over, hoping sleep would find him soon.
