Here is my attempt to start a satirical work based on religon.
If you are deeply religous, click the back button please.
Praise, flames, constructive criticism are all welcome (Well, except the flames). Note: For those who don't know, because this is a satire, it will stretch many things past the truth as many satires do (Think about Simpsons,Family Guy or South Park).
Now onto the story.
Chapter 1-Christiandom
"How in the world did I get into this mess?" I asked aloud.
"DIE YOU DEVIL!" "YOU FIENDISH BEAST! PERISH UNDER GOD'S NAME!" screamed some strange group of people called "Christians".
Strange group of people really. I just said I didn't want to go to their "Church". Man, these people are nut jobs.
"Well devil, how do like that huh? Satan isn't going to save you now is he?"
"Who's Satan?" I asked.
"You're kidding? Don't play dumb. We know how much you love him."
"How can I love him if I've never even heard of him?"
"He's trying to fool us with 'logic' and 'reasoning'. We will never fall for such trickery you heathen. May God have mercy on your soul."
"Wait! I'm telling the truth!"
"Save your excuses for God."
"No God would allow this to happen. Heh, it's kinda ironic you know? Because it seems to me that your God is dead, dead to you and your 'Christians'."
"SILENCE! YOU HAVE SPOKEN FOR FAR ENOUGH! DIE!"
And they hung me. I was now dead. but strangely enough, I was in neither Heaven nor Hell as the "Christians" said.
I was in a strange place filled with nothingness. Then, two doors appeared.
HEAVEN HELL
Well, I might as well see what "Heaven" is all about.
42.
Topic over?
I'm not flaming you, after all, that would be stupid of me, as I do think there's God, but I'm not entirly convinced, and I barely ever go to Church, sometimes I don't go at Easter or Chrsitmas. I'm still young, and I forget the name.
But, from a 60%(Christian)and 40% (Don't care)- I have to say, your views are incredibly Anti-Christian, and just plain untrue.
Without Religion, we all would be Robots, and as pleasing as that sounds coming from a Metal Sonic Fan, it's a bad thing.
Oh, and Shadow Hog, the Answer to Life is 41.
You should know that, you're a Mod.
Of course that's 41, but asked for the answer to life, the universe and everything, which is clearly 42.
We could argue this all day if you want to.
I don't see what there's to argue about. Look:
The inclusion of ", the universe and everything" is pivotal, see.
I thought it was 23. Gorillaz has failed me.
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I'm not flaming you, after all, that would be stupid of me, as I do think there's God, but I'm not entirly convinced, and I barely ever go to Church, sometimes I don't go at Easter or Chrsitmas. I'm still young, and I forget the name.
LSX, did you read my opening? I said this was a satire, it was going to stretch things quite a bit. Not to flame, but I would suggest you go read some Satirical work before you make judgements like that. And I'm not Christian FYI, I'm Agnostic.
But this isn't funny. It just looks like an excuse to portray Christians as stupid, ignorant, fanatical cultist savages (which is true only in specific cases and certainly not throughout the entire spectrum of Christianity). Satire exaggerates and makes witty remarks about religions; it doesn't change them into something that they are not. Even South Park's portrayal of the LDS church, for example, was very accurate, minus a few details they muddled. Yes, I understand you weren't trying to insult Christians in general and that this was meant to be satire, but it's not coming across that way. A little research would go a long way.
This could be a lot funnier if you put a different twist on it, like for example, a man lives a good Christian life but after he dies, he has to wait in line like everyone else and can't skip ahead to Heaven or Hell because of his religion. Or maybe he ends up in Hell because it turns out some other religion (usually an unlikely one) is the actually real religion of God or whatever. You may even feature multiple sects of Christianity - Heaven only knows how many groups there are now. They could be competing against each other while some other group climbs their way to Heaven while the Christians are distracted by themseles. So there are some idea to throw out there.
And for all of you people out there who were betting I'd post in this thread, go ahead and start spending that money 'cause you gambled well this time. 😛
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But this isn't funny. It just looks like an excuse to portray Christians as stupid, ignorant, fanatical cultist savages (which is true only in specific cases and certainly not throughout the entire spectrum of Christianity). Satire exaggerates and makes witty remarks about religions; it doesn't change them into something that they are not. Even South Park's portrayal of the LDS church, for example, was very accurate, minus a few details they muddled. Yes, I understand you weren't trying to insult Christians in general and that this was meant to be satire, but it's not coming across that way. A little research would go a long way.
This is only the first chapter. There is more to come later.
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This could be a lot funnier if you put a different twist on it, like for example, a man lives a good Christian life but after he dies, he has to wait in line like everyone else and can't skip ahead to Heaven or Hell because of his religion. Or maybe he ends up in Hell because it turns out some other religion (usually an unlikely one) is the actually real religion of God or whatever. You may even feature multiple sects of Christianity - Heaven only knows how many groups there are now. They could be competing against each other while some other group climbs their way to Heaven while the Christians are distracted by themseles. So there are some idea to throw out there.
I actually thought of that, but that wouldn't fit the overall theme I'm trying to get across here. I could state it, but what would be the point of reading the rest of the story?
P.S. Chapter 2 is almost done. I'll post it ASAP.
Your point is RELIGIONS ARE EVEL AND BAD AND EVRY RELIGUS PERSON IS IGNORENT AND STOOPID AND RARRRGH I'M AN ANGRY 14-YEAR-OLD ATHEIST ON THE INTERNET
Seriously. Chill out. I came to terms with the fact that there is no God a long time ago, son. Making fun of religion and generally being a dick about it gets you nowhere.
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Your point is RELIGIONS ARE EVEL AND BAD AND EVRY RELIGUS PERSON IS IGNORENT AND STOOPID AND RARRRGH I'M AN ANGRY 14-YEAR-OLD ATHEIST ON THE INTERNET
Actually I'm 17, but that's beside the point.
What's that old saying?
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Don't assume because you'll make an ass out of you and me.
Or something along those lines.
Actually, the theme is different. I understand that you probably have seen many cases before on the internet dealing with other angsty teenagers. Actually, I think religon is one of the few good things mankind has come up with. I respect religon on all levels, although I realize my satire may lead others to believe otherwise.
My computer though lost the data on Chapter 2, so I'll have to rewrite it tomorrow.
What the hell is this topic doing in Carnival Island? I don't get it. All I see is some sort of stupid, nonsensical dialogue with people yelling about Christianity. Is this supposed to be one of your forays into creative writing? Did you try to bitch about something in Marble Garden but post in the wrong forum? Is this a joke? What the Christ is this?
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Without Religion, we all would be Robots
Are you honestly calling me a robot because I'm not a religious person?
Why is this thread so saturated with stupidity
I have decided that I am considerably less angry now.
Look, what you wrote doesn't qualify as a short story or even a satire to me. It's nothing more than a very short piece of dialogue. I honestly think you should have finished the rest of the story before you posted it, because at the moment it just seems like an excuse to pick on Christians. I hope your story improves from this point, because it just doesn't seem very funny to me.
If you hope to write a proper satire, you're going to have to write a lot more than just "lol christians think everyone's going to hell". Be more original. Make fun of something that's more interesting. This is nothing more than a quick example here, but instead of writing about Christianity as a whole, perhaps you could write about Fred Phelps (that's not very original either, but it's a start).
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Look, what you wrote doesn't qualify as a short story or even a satire to me. It's nothing more than a very short piece of dialogue. I honestly think you should have finished the rest of the story before you posted it, because at the moment it just seems like an excuse to pick on Christians. I hope your story improves from this point, because it just doesn't seem very funny to me.
I understand your POV, and honestly, I probably should have finished it before creating this topic. But it's not an excuse to pick on Christians. Other religons are included as well later down the line. But it's your opinion and I can't change that.
Chapter 2-Heaven
"Wow, so this is Heaven," I said aloud.
"Welcome! Take your shoes off, relax, and have a great time! We're having a party tonight, so why don't you come?"
asked an angel that greeted me.
"Sure. Why not?"
"Just go that north in a couple of hours."
"Just one question though, Where is -God-?"
"Oh, you don't know? God died a while back."
"What?! But, weren't I killed in his name?"
"True, but don't hold that against them. They mean well."
"Very well, I will hold no grudge against them. But if God is dead, where is his grave?"
"Over that way," he pointed me towards the direction of the graveyard.
"Can I go see?" I asked.
"Go ahead."
I went and looked at his grave, only one problem. There was no such grave for God. Did I miss something?
"And he was such a good guy. We all miss him."
"But I don't see his grave."
"WHAT!? It's right there! Are you blind or something?"
"But it's true. I don't see him."
"Quit lying," he said as the angel left.
What is going on here?
"Good question."
"Huh? Who said that-HOLY CRAP, IT'S JESUS!"
"Yes, that I am. I have a favor to ask of you. My father is not dead, I know it. He's hiding somewhere though. Please, find him for me."
"But why do the others see his grave while I don't?"
"Because, the others have convinced themselves that he is dead. But maybe you can find him. I'll return you to Earth with your body. Good luck and Godspeed."
More comments appreciated. And yes, I realize that this doesn't seem very satirical but give it time. The overall theme should reveal itself eventally(I hope so...)
I can't remember what Rtard made the 14 year old comment but keep in mind the only reason kids are mad about this is because their parents lie to them about this stuff instead of handing them a bible and saying, "read it and see what you think."
~Tobe
I think the person who made the 14 year old comment is about as non-religious (or whatever) as the person who is writing this story.
yawn... how cute. So when's your Mary Su-Sonic-recolor-character come in?
I really don't see what the fuss is about. I've seen worse on Family Guy, the Simpsons, and South Park and you probably all laugh and nod your heads at that.
I was talking about the comment itself, not Bat himself. Stop stalking my posts dammit, Vec peed in your cereal not me!
And yes, I've seen worse than this in one of Geo's posts 1/16th that size. *rimshot*
~Tobe
Well, I've decided after much consideration to bring this little "project" to a stop. Since I aparently suck at writing, I might as well try to hone my skills at writing and try again later. And again, I AM NOT 14!
I'm 17 and nearly into college. However, I do take into account the image my story must have placed upon me.
Anyway, the major theme of this story was intended to be that one must search within oneself for the truth and not pay attention to what others say. I guess I really do suck at writing...
If you want a good satire on religion, read Good Omens.
I'm not trying to stalk you. Just a coincedence I guess.
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If you want a good satire on religion, read Good Omens.
Would you mind telling me where to find it?
any good bookshop should stock it, it was written by terry pratchett and neil goodman (sp?).
Wait, Terry Pratchett?
That name does sound familiar.
*Suddenly realized I'm flat broke*
he wrote the diskworld series of books, there's over 20 of them now.
you'd most likely have seen the english forumers discussing his works, as most of us here seem to be fans.
BINGO!
That's it! I actually read one of the Diskworld books before.
IIRC, it was about some boy who somehow became death. I really liked it.
you're thinking of Mort there.
