I like it. Straightforward about what's happened, impact and power, character development underway. And good use of color, adding in color is always good to assist the reader in picturing the scene that they're reading.

So this takes place when Tails is sixteen? That's kind of an interesting twist on it too, that everyone's been fighting the war for that long and Robotnik still isn't dead. Also sets it apart from other fics in which this scenario of "Knothole revealed, massacred" happens, since usually that is done at the "present time" in Archie or the SatAM series by writers.

I read through it the first time without realizing that Tails was sixteen, and when I read about the kind of stuff Amy was describing, I was like, "What in THEEE heck? Little girls wouldn't describe things in such depth!" But then I looked back up and figured out that Tails was sixteen, which would make Amy...well heck, I actually don't know if we're talking about Archie, I know that Amy is 12 and Tails is 8 in the SegaSonic universe but I really don't know how old Amy was. But that's my problem in the first place. 😛

Good, straightforward piece with the potential for interesting character development. Look forward to seeing more.

Wow! That's a well written peice, Mike.
I really like how you ended it, y'know Tails going rough and all that...
But yeah- good start.

Angst! XP? Yeesh, I'd have thought Microsoft would've left well enough alone at Angst! 98...

XD!!!

Now this is power. I felt for the little fox as soon as the fic started. I am a bit of a tails fan I have to confess. But who told them of Knotholes location? My guess is Tails was kidnapped, hypnotied and then dumped back on the outskirts of knot hole but that would just be my way of thinking. The characters are very powerful emotionally. I can't wait to see the next chapter.

New Version, below.

I like how tails character has so many different traits. Alaso i like how you've captured amys gungho attitude when she chose to smash the Swat bots. Keep going and good work.

Good overall, however (on a personal note) a little more backstory around character and item introductions would help the narrative. How, why, and where did Tails get his gun? Where, when and how did these new mobian allies of Robotnick appear, and what is the nature of their relationship toward the 'classical' villians of Snively and Robotnick? After your first post, I was also going to suggest watching your sentences for repeat phrases in the same sentence, and working on your flow from one topic to the next, but it seems you corrected most of that the second time around.

Also: Snively is nineteen? How'd that happen?

Always a pleasure reading reviews Cap'n. I understand how I could and probally will add more info in the previous chapters. And the second question - we all have different age ideas in our own universes.

Snively's age is only one thing.

Quote:

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Always a pleasure reading reviews Cap'n. I understand how I could and probally will add more info in the previous chapters. And the second question - we all have different age ideas in our own universes.

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Ha. That's true enough!

I will also add, on a purely personal (and maybe irrational) note: I was a bit disappointed when he pulled Amy out of the rubble. Im rather apathetic towards her as a character, but mostly I am a bit weary of the pairing and possible dynamic between them. I was hoping for a shell-shocked Sally, or something a bit more exotic. A crippled and emotionally defeated Sonic could have been interesting, since that is often done but rarely very well. If it had been Sally, then it could have been done with subscenes using a quasi-documentary feel to them, with Tails narrating and recording via Nicole. Eh. Just throwing out ideas.

Its been a late night for me, and Ive been writing NWO so Im in a toy with ideas and concepts mood.

To be honest, I think I can rewrite the story much better. But on a personal note - what tips would you say would improve the story itself?

I'd rather talk about this more on a instant messanger, mine are blantally up on my DeviantArt or we can used the EZboard PM system -- just poke me one whatever.

Not bad, not bad at all.

cept'...ummm...I had the same idea

Schwarze Tragodie
BLACK TRAGEDY

The Saddest Day on Mobius is a event that many will recall from now. It was a event which no one recalled or would want to in any form. It was deemed a tragedy, and a massacre. To think all it took was one mobian to betray and slaughter more than a handful of heroes. It was indeed a calm, desolate, and peaceful morning in Knothole Village in the vast enormous Great Forest. It seemed like any other day, but the ironic feeling of not being prepared for something you could never be prepared for comes to thought. A twenty year old blue hedgehog with vibrant emerald green eyes leaned against a tree in the middle of the village. He sported as usual of these times his trademark shoes, and a pair of camouflage pants. He also bore that typical cocky grin upon his face. But he couldnt help to think there was something wrong with this picture. He just could not put his thumb on the feeling. It was like a slick ghostly chill on the back of his neck as if nature was to warn him. But of what? The blue hedgehog began to think, something he did not do too often. Maybe, it was just the absence of Tails from the village that made him feel this feeling. This was probably one of the longest times Tails had been absent, he was kind of worried. That something happened to him.

Manoh Man. I wonder when he will be back? hed mutter before sighing, he knew it was true. Tails was Sixteen now, but he had been gone for so long and it started to worry him over a breaking point.

Dont worry, hell come back just fine.

Sonic turned his head at the direction of the voice. Just his luck Amy. Yeah, Yeah I know.

She shook her head. Try to feel a tad bet- she was cut off by a high-pitched snarl. .and WHY arent YOU at GUARD, Rodents?

Amy rolled her eyes a bit and turned, Sonic just smirked and replied. And why arent you, Birdbrain? Sonic of course was referring to the albino falcon, who apparently thought he was the boss here.

Im making sure YOU do some WORK around here. the bird spat.

Just because you were tolerated in Mercia does not mean we will take your annoyances here and act all high and mighty.

WhyYOU! NOBOY talks to me like that. No- then the bird was cut off.

What seems to be the problem, guys? said a deeper-voice.

The bird turned and snorted. Im telling blue boy he cant slack!

Rotor shook his head. Just get along with him and youll be fine. the bird didnt reply but a snort came out of him as he walked away, glaring at the hedgehogs as he left.

Talk about a oversized ego. Sonic chuckled.

Your one to talk. Rotor smirked at the blue hedgehog.

Suddenly a large explosion occurred in the midst of the village. Sonic ducked to the ground as he now knew what that feeling really was about. Holy Hell! Sonic exclaimed as he blinked at what used to be the main gate to enter knothole now just a smoldering pile of ash. This just couldnt be happening! His breath rate began to increase rapidly as he withdrew his submachine gun which was attached to his side. This seemed impossible. Robotnik did not know where they were! How did this happen? Before he could realize any answers, he was interrupted by screams of other mobians. Sonic gritted his teeth as bullet fire began to battle laser firehe shook his head as he took aim as SWATs began piling in.

SWATs! he yelled vigorously.

It definitely had happened. Robotnik had found Knothole. As laser fire and artillery shells tore through the village destroying building by building in their massive paths Sonic cursed, and he cursed loud. Something really he had not done often. But this was a occasion that called for it. He saw the desperations to defend the village by the other Freedom Fighters.

One by One, Freedom Fighters fell.

Sonic just took aim and fired he had to provide a back door for civilians even if he knew Knothole was doomed to fall. But as usual Sonics arrogance came into play and he exclaimed. Cmon! Hit me with your best shot! he ran at top speed, firing as he ran. The robots though armored and heavily equipped were just too slow!

Ha! Cmon, Bring it! Sonic laughed as he attacked. Suddenly a menacing, grim voice spoke. Gladly

Sonic spun around and his eyes widened. He pulled the trigger on his submachine gun.but a ghastly noise was heard.

&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp -click.

He was out of ammo, and Sonic said only one thing before he met a raw steel blade face to face.

&nbsp &nbsp &nbsp &nbsp @#%$.

With that one word, Sonics face went pale and the assassin had the pleasure of killing Sonic the Hedgehog. It was the beginning of the end for Knothole. This Saddest day on Mobius.

As the figure smirked over his blood-drenched blade and the slain corpse before him footsteps rushed behind him and a loud female yell. YOU!!!

The assassin turned to look at the source of the voice and saw a approaching pink mass rushing for him. He looked up and smirked. He- using his blade once more cut down the supports to a tower and it fell down and crushed the pink mass- the pink hedgehog. He shook his head and tightened his mask. Didnt want anyone to recognize him.

The Massacre was done. He was positive, and now he could head back to Robotropilis.

Two Hours Later

He was breathless. Completely breathless. It had happened, not a thought in the sixteen year old's mind could make him any sadder. Robotnik, with all of the evil tyrants power had done the impossible. His pale blue eyes blinked, full of pain and sorrow. He, he was the only remaining Freedom-Fighter from Knothole, or thats what this horrific scene looked like. "No." he spat, the words barely escaping his lips. He was full of doubt, this event.. it had always seemed impossible, improbable even. But then again... anything could happen and it had happened for the worst. He alone, alone in the midst of smoke and ash, ruins and blood. The two-tailed kitsune winced as he fell to his knees. And there he wallowed in sadness, and complete horror as he stood in the ruins of Knothole. Sonic the Hedgehog was dead - right in front of him, and there was nothing he could do to change that. This was his living nightmare, but this time... it was real, a true real nightmare come true. All he could do at that moment was remember. Remember the good times behind him. Before Knothole was burned to rubble. Before his Best Friend was dead, dead right before him.

Soni..c he muttered with a raspy breath, face full of tears and hands stained in the hedgehog's blood. Tails' head fell to Sonic's chest as he whimpered.

It was gone. But it was to think, to think that his life with his friends was over and knew it too well he did. But, could he of prevented this ordeal? Of course not, but that is where his doubt lay. He had been away from Knothole when it occurred, and had only arrived to see the burning wood, the scorching ash, the corpses on the ground and the pain ever so raw in his heart.

"Wh..Why?" he muttered as he raised his head from Sonic's corpse.

"How...How?" he muttered again as he looked in the direction of Robotropilis. The fat man had scored the worst blow he could do in this horrific game of chess, and the fat man was probably laughing and having a good time while he believed his victory was complete, full swing. It was a sad day. Not just for Tails but many others. He gritted his teeth, as he realized it. This was not the end. He couldn't give up, it didn't matter if his friends were dead. He knew it so well, what Sonic would say if he were alive at this moment.

"Never Give Up, and Stick it to the Fat Man." Tails muttered with a faint smirk. But that smirk soon faded.

Tails slammed his fist into the ground as tears ran down his face. Never again would he see that smile of Sonics in which made him always feel on top of the world, or there was the sweet voice of Sally that always could cheer him up when he was down, or that sparky personality of Bunnies that always knew how to talk to you, or Ant's cowardice in which had always made him laugh, or even Rotors intelligence and wisdom in which he could learn from. Never. Never Again. They were gone and all he had was the past. His memories.

He believed them all to be dead.

Tails held his hand to his face as tears flowed down it, there had been so much....and he could only take so much. The pain would be everlasting he knew. Though as he wiped his tears off his face he heard something, something to make his ears twitch. It was a whimpering, faint, weak. But he heard it nonetheless. Whimpering, could it be that someone had survived this dreaded event? Tails lightly smiled as he put thought into that. His pale blue eyes blinked once more as he looked for the source of the whimpering.

It was close, he just knew it.

But then again it was getting fainter, weaker. Tails would hate himself if he couldn't help someone. Besides if there was another survivor, he could get the lay down on what happened though he already had a good idea by Knothole's ruins. He also could help them live through their own emotional pain - its what was right. The two-tailed kitsune bit his lip as he looked around but saw nothing. But then a slight whimper of a voice was heard again and he noticed a white glove concealing a hand was covered under a piling heap of rubble and debris.

Tails nodded as her rushed over to it. "Hold on!" he said loudly and clearly through the rubble, hopefully he or she had heard him.

With that said he began removing the rubble, the whimpering thus getting more clearer. He worked fast, he didn't want another freedom fighter to die. No. Not today.

"C'mon..." Tails muttered. "..hang in there..." he muttered again.

He quickly moved the rubble off of the mobian, who wore a bright red under the debris. Tails blinked and hoped the infirmary here at Knothole still had some medical supplies. But that was a back thought. He freed the mobian from the rubble and moved her to the clear ground, in case rubble were to fall back in place. She had emerald green eyes, and pale pink fur as well. He knew this mobian, and well too. The pink hedgehog before him was none other then Amy Rose.

Tails looked at her, and then he spoke. "Amy?" he breathed.

She only nodded. Tails bit his lip and looked to the medical hut or infirmary as he called it. "I'll be back!" he said as he rushed to the medical hut - one of few huts that were still in tact. He just began thinking about Amy, and how she just had to hang on. He knew she could do it. The orange kitsune raced against the clock as he gathered a backpack of light brown material a giant red cross smacked on the pack clearly made it seem a medical pack. It was slightly heavy so the thing was definitely supplied. He quickly left the hut, backpack in tow as he returned to Amy's side.

"Tails..." she muttered as her emerald green eyes looked at him.

He nodded lightly as he placed his backpack on the ground and began to tend to her wounds. "At least she won't die..." he thought as she sat up, back against a tree. "It...was...It was horrible." she breathed as she closed her eyes painfully.

"I know..." Tails replied with a nod.

"Thank god you weren't here." she said.

Tails bit his lip, he wanted to be here when it happened but knew if he had... he'd be dead right now. "Yea..." he said.

"Thanks...for helping me." she said.

Tails nodded. "Its what was right."

She smirked as she nodded. Tails blinked as he decided against his better judgment to ask. "....How'd it...happen?" he asked.

She bit her own lip and replied. "Do you really want to know?"

He nodded. "Yeah..."

She nodded lightly. "The Scene...started like all other days." she said. "But someone had done it, and we knew it once the entire arsenal of Robotnik's fighting force attacked. Someone had given out Knothole's location and as we feared it became the worst day on Mobius. No one was spared, there was no way out. The SWAT's....they tried to take down Sonic first. Though of course, he - he was too fast for them...but then he arrived."

Tails gulped, "Who?"

She shook her head. "It was a masked mobian, he probably was the one who gave out the location. He killed Sonic before my eyes" she winced painfully. Tears slowly running down her face.

He nodded. "No one could of gotten out after you were trapped?"

"I doubt it, but they probably evacuated the children." she said. "Were all that remains of Knothole, and their Freedom Fighters...." she sniffed as she soon felt a quick hug from Tails.

"We will live on, and we can never give up."

Amy smirked. Sonic would of said the same, but added babe to the last word. "....Yeah..."

Ah, now. Better. Cleaner. Smoother. A few narrative hiccups, but nothing major, I don't think. I like the new descriptors, and how you left open the possibiltiy that Sally is alive, but that Tails (and probably Amy) thinks she is dead.

Two things:

When did Tails get back? Was it right after the event? How did he feel about missing the fate of his friends by such a small fraction of time? What if he had been faster? Would he even have made a difference? Etc.

The other is the conclusion to wrap up the Knothole scene, I assume in the next installment. You simply must either put in a burial scene (could be touching) where he (though Amy's probably too injured to help) gives the fallen a proper end... or, knowing that time is short, he burns/creamates them himself. This would be the more dramatic of the two, since it would parallel how many of them were killed. It would also be shorter, which is often a factor in scene preperation.

So, to note - I am still working on this. Just a bit of time management here and there. But I really like this project and expect it to be updated in a few days or a good week.