Unfortunately, Jim Lehrer became enraged by the fact that Tails was not killed and grabbed onto his own chin with one of his hands, then pulled it off with immense strength to reveal that he was actually wearing a mask; the face of an infuriated reptilian humanoid being has now been revealed and he yells "TAILS IS MY ETERNAL ENEMY!!!!!" as loudly as he possibly can!

Fortunately, this proved impossible and everyone realized the sleeping pills were actually drugs that made them hallucinate.

Unfortunately, some of the pills were beyond the expiration day (wth?), some of the hallucinations were not caused by the pills

Fortunately, Jim being a lizard was one of the hallucinations.

Unfortunately, Ray Suaraz reading the bible wasn't a hallucination.

Fortunately, the belief that Jim Lehrer being a reptoid was a hallucination was in itself a hallucination; Jim Lehrer was and is indeed a reptoid.

...wait, how the hell is that fortunate?

Unfortunately, reptoids have a short-life span in this universe.

Fortunately, this wasn't our universe.

Unfortunately when the reptoids crossover into our universe they gain a extended life spain & super powers!

Fortuantely, they also get cancer and AIDS

Unfortunately it was the kind of cancer and AIDS you get over with a good night's sleep,

Fortunately, Jim Lehrer the reptoid was afflicted by numerous other diseases.

Unfortunately, Jim Lehrer is the reptile version of Chuck Norris, so the diseases didn't afflict him. He afflicted the diseases.

Fortunately, Jim Lehrer afflicted not only the diseases that were plaguing him, but also any and all of his potential weaknesses in general!

Unfortunately, that sucks for us since he started wreaking havoc on the planet.

Fortunately he can regenerate his whole body back to full health if even a single cell of his body remains, enabling him to wreak even more havoc on the planet!

...wait, how the hell is that fortunate?

Unfortunately, poor Jim stopped dead cold in his tracks, gripped at his chest, then fell backwards, dead from a heart attack. Forever.

Fortunately, there was a guy with a shovel there to help dig him a final resting place.

Unfortunately, no one came by to stop the peaceful burial.

Fortunately, Tails was able to walk away from all of this mentally sane.

Unfortunately.

Yeesh, thanks for killing that. I'm still trying to figure out how Raptor Lehrer went from being a menace to our protagonists to being the protagonist himself. I blame Rishi.

Anyway, since "Unfortunately." probably doesn't (or shouldn't) count...

Unfortunately, Fiona escaped from it all too, and was not mentally sane.

Fortunately, Tails had an AI to help her with her issues.

Unfortunately, her issues were ginormous, and it was too much for his AI.

Fortunately, Fiona's problems were so ginormous, she shut down from all the stress.

Unfortunately, this made Tails emo.

Fortunately, Tails successfully committed suicide by slitting his wrists so no-one had to tolerate him being an emo anymore.

Unfortunately, Tails had hit an extra life container earlier that day.

(That's... bad? lolwut)

Fortunately with the life container, Tails was "refreshed" and the emo no longer afflicted him.

Unfortunately, the emo went to the broken AI and morphed it into a functional GlaDOS.

Rishi, seriously, stop mixing up "fortunately" and "unfortunately", or I'll have to ask you to stop playing. This isn't funny.

Fortunately, Tails was quite proficient with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, and was able to slay the cake-obsessed AI.

Unfortunately, the cake is a lie.

AS LAME as that was, Rishi, well played.

Fortunately, Tails was full anyway, so it really didn't matter if there was cake or not.

Unfortunately, Tails started to feel dizzy.

Fortunately, Yoshi came along to help, having expertise in matters of fuzziness and dizziness.

Unfortunately, he touched Fuzzy before he went there so he wasn't really in any shape to help.

Fortunately, both their dizziness from the fuzziness canceled the dizziness out for them both... somehow.

Unfortunately, Baby Mario started crying.

Fortunately, Baby Mario needed a change of diapers.

Unfortunately, there were no diapers to be found.

Fortunately, they just replaced him with Baby Wario, hoping to get rich quick..

Unfortunately, there was no money around and Wario started to cry.

Fortunately, Baby Wario saw an attractive woman and it cheered him up.

Unfortunately, it cheered him up a little too much and now his diapers needed changing. He started to cry.

Fortunately, not much feces had been smeared on his diapers.

Unfortunately, a great deal of it had been smeared onto his face.

Fortunately, Baby Wario was fond of coprophagia.

Unfortunately, whichever way you put it, it was all very disgusting.