A: "I'd rather date a hippopotamus."

You've just learned that your best friend was killed by a drunk driver. oo;

Answer: ... oops.

Question: You are asked to be the newest roadie of your favorite band.

"Wow. I wish I had a favorite band!"

Scenario: Your favorite band just broke up. And they all died. Because of me. AHAHAHAHhaah.

"Heeey. Accidents happen. I won't try to kill you for it. *lunges at your throat*"

You are offered a chance to meet your role model.

"Man, I've always wanted to meet Hilary Clinton!"

Scenario: You find yourself in the middle of a nudist colony. And all of the nudists around you are saying "ONE OF US" repeatedly in a monotonous, zombie-like tone.

*strips*

You are pushed into a vat of chocolate.

I'm lactose intolerant!

The Police ask you if you saw a criminal run bye you recently, and ask for the direction of travel

"Yeah, he was going in the direction of that topless bar I work at."

Scenario: You get fired from your job.

"Oh well. My boss was an a-hole."

Scenario: Everything exploded.

I believe that if everything exploded, that would include myself. Thus, I am unable to come up with a witty response to such a scenario. Thank you for playing!

Scenario: You just saved a ton of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico!

Start singing "1-800-Safe-Auto, pick up the phone, the call is free!"

Scenario: You IM your girlfriend/boyfriend "hey wassup sweetie wanna get together and have some fun tonite" only you click your mom's screen name instead, and she takes you to a psychiatrist.

"My mom doesn't have a screen name! WHO ARE YOU!?!?!?1/!?"

Scenario: You're in the middle of a one-time TV airing of a never before seen episode of your favorite TV show when your power goes out.

It will air again when the ratings go up again.

Scenario: aliens kidnap you thinking you are the smartest specimen of Earth. They ask you to type something in a computer and you write ...

"I am not a fish."

Scenario: You're at church and the priest says "The Lord be with you" but you forget how to respond.

"Hm? What's that about sex?"

Scenario: Your computer gets hacked. And it makes your speakers say "HEY EVERYBODY I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORN." And you're in a public place. Yes.

Yes! I want to bone my mother so bad. I also want to join a terrorist group and plan the bombing of your office building, you QUACK!!

Scenario: You are sent to an asylum for 4 months to recover. When you meet with the psychiatrist he asks if you are feeling better now.

"Sure I am! The little green leprecauns that hide under my bed say so!"

Scenario: You are The Incredible Hulk.

A: "Hulk hungry! Hulk eat Starbucks!"

Scenario: The Incredible Hulk eats Starbucks while you are inside.

"Aw, shoot. Not again."

Scenario: You're at the gynecologist's office.

"WHO WANTS TO CHECK MY PROSTATE!??!/1/1//"

Question: Your grandparents ask you to take their dog on a walk. The dog dies.

A: "Look! I taught your dog a new trick! Um, play dead! ...Good boy!"

Scenario: While out fishing, your father asks you to watch his very expensive rod as he goes in to get a drink. A moment later, the rod is jerked from your grasp and is pulled underwater.

...

"Dad, your rod just got j-..."

-_- I can't say it on a PG forum.

Scenario: You are WB.

"Why yes, Andrew, I'll take the time to sign your foot and make you happy"

Q: Been caught stealing

A: "Stealing? I-I was j-just borrowing it for like a y-year or two..."

Scenario: A golf ball comes from your neighbor's yard and breaks your bedroom window.

A: Damn! And I was gonna learn indoor golf tomorrow!

Q: You are magically transported into a video game.

I'm gonna go this way. ** You go straight towards your immediate death, depending on the game questioned **

Situation: Somehow, you survive your first adventure inside a video game when suddenly, a user goes to change the game.

"Aw, dont'cha wanna play Mortal Kombat?"

S: You are impaled in a Mortal Kombat game.

"But wait! I have an extra life!"

Scenario: You are Link, the Hero of Time, sent on a quest to save Hyrule from the foul lord Ganondorf.

A: "When do I get paid?"

Scenario: Somehow, your computer's operating system turns into a "user-friendly" AOL-created operating system that yells out "You've got mail!" about every time you turn it on.

"Oh boy! I love getting mail!"

Scenario: Your favorite show just got cancelled after only three seasons and 65 episodes when it deserved much more and the CEO of the company that made it is a minion of Satan.

">>
<<
Who wants to watch Desparate Houswives?"

SENARIO: YOUR

"I"

Scenario: You lost your dad's car keys.

A: "Um... My dog at it!"

Scenario: Thee eentiiree woorld staarts uusiing doouublee-vooweeleed woords. Yoouu aaree noot uuseed too uusiing theem yeet aand yoouur teeaacheer aasks yoouu too wriitee aan eessaay wiithoouut aany speelliing eerroors.

EDIT: Woot! 400th post!

"Are you guys cold or something?"

Scenario: Sonic Sez YTMND's won't stop!!! AH!!!!

A: "And no one cares enough to post about it!"

Scenario: You bump into Eggman, who, in recoil, accidentally presses the "Self-destruct button" labeled "Do not push!" and his mobile explodes, making him very angry at you.

"What the hell is a gynecologist?"

Scenario: You're standing in the middle of a road, and a horde of rampant Chao are charging you.

Yay! Come here guys! I want to hug you all and squeeze you all and ** herd of chao stampeded me dead **

S: You are about to die! You have a secret that can either save you or kill you. The people around you want to know the secret so can they destroy the world. If you don't tell them, they'll kill you and if you do, they will kill you too.

"I must protect you from the terrible secret of space!"

Scenario: You must kill someone! Mission Begin!

A: <_<
>_>
"Where the hell is Acrio!? And who else could I kill with this flamethrower?"

Scenario: You complete your objective in 7:16:21. The required time was 0:00:37. Fission Mailed.

Simply point out that taking the numbers from 7:16:21 and arranging them thusly in a mathematical sequence:

21-16+7(4)+the number of digits in all numbers greater than a single digit(otherwise, 4)= 37, the exact time in which you were supposed to complete your mission.

Scenario: Soup's on and you've lost all your oysters. What now?

I MUST CHOP UP ACRIO!

Situation: The EZbug eats the Mofo. And the 1337board, somehow.

A: "This post is missing and cannot be restored."

Scenario: Every time you press a key on your keyboard, it kills another living person on Earth.

"I think I'll write that 2 million page novel I've been thinking about for a while!"

Scenario: Amy comes running up to you wanting to kiss you.

Wraith

"Go away you IDIOT! By the way, hammers kill me."

Scenario: An insane police officer has you at gunpoint.

A: "I REGRET NOTHING!" *Jumps off bridge*

Scenario: This topic is DYING!! Do something to save it!

Anyone want to NOT help the topic?

Scenario: Knuckles is stalking you.

"Well I could never outrun sonic!"

Scenario: a plane full of bubble wrap crashes in your yard

A: "YEEE!! BUBBLE WRAP!!" *Jumps into the pile of bubbly goodness* "But wait...shouldn't I be doing the right thing and checking for survivors? ...Psshaw, they'll live!"

Scenario: You are among the dying crew of that plane crash and you notice me within the bubbly mess.

A: ... *stabstabstab* now to pop those bubbles that bubble hog didnt already... FWEEEE!

scenario: tails pokes you with a stick. WHAT DO U DOOOOO???

Toughen up! }:D ** followed by stabs that kill him dead **

Scenario: Animal activists stand near where you stab Tails to death. You do...