*offers Marauder a flame proof suit* Yousa gonna be needin dat.

XD

~Rico

It's funny because it's true =D

* The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Thank you, Mr. Kerry.

In other news: Funny. Is there a Democrat one too?

I never really understood how Republicans still exist in today's world anyway. Seriously, they're so damn backwards, it's like we had brontosauri running around the streets.

Oy vey

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It's funny because, sadly in these times, it's true =D

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Fixed.

And yes, what Rico said.

And SX, I'd laugh at a list against Democrats because, sadly in these times, it's also true.

...

Third parties are the best solution to the stale status of political parties in the US. 🙂

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Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

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Hatred for homosexuals? Nope. Desire for them being cured from the mental illness they're under? Certainly. Dislike of homosexuality being presented as 'normal' in school curriculum? You betcha.

As for Hillary Clinton...I would like it if she just dropped out of politics. She'd be doing everyone a big favor.

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Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

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I'd rather we not trade with China. I'd also rather that military technology not be GIVEN to China. (grumbles with annoyance) As for Vietnam, well things certainly would have been different if America didn't cut and run (despite the fact that, militarily, North Vietnam was losing.).

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The United States should get out of the United Nations, but our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

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Because the UN won't get off of its corrupt behind to enforce its own resolutions.

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A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

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The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

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Okay, this is just stupid. And by that I mean cutting benefits and pay is stupid. (goes to look this up)

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If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

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Condoms don't work 100% of that. Abstinence - for those who stick to it - works 100% of the time. I would wager that a big facet of this issue revolves around parents who don't properly teach their teens proper social conduct about sex and why it's a bad idea to have it when young. You know, before getting a career and whatnot (cause otherwise, how are you gonna support a family?).

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A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

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France? Germany? Russia? The ones who stalled the longest because of their Oil-for-Food ties? Some allies. And besides, we still have quite a few allies (points to Japan, Austrailia, England, Canada, etcetera).

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Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

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Hold on.

"Providing health care to all Iraqis is socialism, and providing health care to all Americans is also socialism."

Better. And just out of curiosity, where'd you hear about the 'Iraqi health care' tidbit?

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HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart, as do oil companies.

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(looks at the nearest gas station) Hmm. I don't see any price gouging. o.o

Oh, and just to let you know, I think the recent oil find in the Gulf of Mexico and the fact that the oil reserves of the US (and China and India, IIRC) have been filled and closed off might have something to do with the downswing in prices.

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Global warming is junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

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Global warming isn't the issue for me; it's the fact that some people *coughAlGorecough* blame a cyclical climate on humans? What about the last warming period? Where were the SUVs? We can't even accurately predict the weather a week from now; how are we supposed to predict our effect on the global climate?

Oh, and to those who predicted superhurricanes for this season, looks like you jumped the gun a bit. oo

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A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

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(pounds head on table) HE. DIDN'T. LIE. The intelligence he received (from the CIA, from MI6, and from pretty much every other intelligence service in the world) pointed at WMDs. So he said there were. How is that lying?

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Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

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Which is why states are passing their own respective laws concerning gay marriage (under the 10th Amendment).

And no, I don't want a censored Internet, thank you very much.

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The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

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Cattle trades? Where'd this come from? Oo;

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Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

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If you recover, then you're off the hook.

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What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

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And what did Bush do in the 80s? And why would Bill Clinton in the 60s be of any interest? He didn't even obtain his J.D. degree from Yale Law School until 1973.

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Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.

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I would prefer that, considering how much the fringe element of the Democratic party has taken hold of the group.

And just to let you know, the guy you're quoting in your sig? Abe Lincoln. He was a Republican. o.o

Oh, and one more thing.

Bush, close the borders, and crack down on those hiring illegal aliens.

You see Marauder, I just stick with Republicans because they, traditionally, field more conservative politicians (which is why RINOs like Arlen Specter make me go grrrr). I have no problem with voicing my disagreement with some Republican policies.

So you might want to rephrase your topic title.

That is all.

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Third parties are the best solution to the stale status of political parties in the US.

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Ditto'd.

Editing for conciceness.

MarauderOSU said:

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Thos who do not share my opinions are necessarily stupid, insane, evil, or any combintation of the three.

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There. Much easier to read now, isn't it? Can this be Marble Garden'd now?

Well what did you expect from a political party that is full of 'Christian' extremist who only focuses on helping the rich (which is like less than 8% of the country's population)

Ultra, you've just confirmed one thing: You are a bigot.

LOL I FORGOT POLITICS WAS THAT SIMPLE SORY LOL

You've just insulted my mother and father, SonicV2. I'd appreciate an apology of some sort.

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You are a bigot.

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I would like to hear your reasons as to why you think that.

Go on. Let it out. :3

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Well what did you expect from a political party that is full of 'Christian' extremist who only focuses on helping the rich (which is like less than 8% of the country's population)

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(would spit out his soda if he had any in his mouth)

Do you have any concept of how tax cuts work?

I don't need to. I think your words speak for themselves.

Yeah, that's true for ALL of them! *waves torch*

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I never really understood how Republicans still exist in today's world anyway. Seriously, they're so damn backwards, it's like we had brontosauri running around the streets.

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Way to be ignorant.

Bigot: a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.

Hmm. I'm tolerant of those who are not immoral, of those whose beliefs don't revolve around the destruction of others or the perversion of children...and I'm tolerant to those who tell the truth and who use logic.

You know, here's something interesting to consider; considering how intolerant you seem to be of my own beliefs (note the 'seem'), you sure like to toss around the bigot label a lot.

Wonderbat's being his usual, loveable self. :3

Though, the idea of being an apatosaurus is intriguing. I could travel long distances without paying for gas. 😀

(Oh, the brontosaurus was misidentified, and is now referred to as apatosaurus.)

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You know, here's something interesting to consider; considering how intolerant you seem to be of my own beliefs (note the 'seem'), you sure like to toss around the bigot label a lot.

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That's my problem with this entire thread. No, with this entire Internet. It's become all right for "liberals" to make blanket statements about conservatives or Republicans. Essentially, this is bashing, but pretty much everyone views this as okay.

I don't like it anymore. I don't identify myself with the conservative viewpoint, and I am certainly not a Republican. But bashing is bashing and I've decided it's time I took offense to it.

The people being bashed are the people who raised me for eighteen years and essentially did everything they could to give a good life to their children. The people being bashed are the friend who brought me cookies while I was lying inert in a hospital bed and the teacher who coached me through a tough academic year and encouraged me to excel in writing.

Apologize.

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Oh, the brontosaurus was misidentified, and is now referred to as apatosaurus.

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I thought it was brachiosaurus. o_O
Ah, well.

No, it is Apatosaurus, but Brontosaurus is such a better name, wouldn't you agree? =)

Brachiosaurus brings bronchitis to mind. No good.

Apatosaurus reminds me of Pat L. Double the no good.

Brontosaurus just SOUNDS big. Bronto. Bruno. Popeye's archenemy!

I will address only the issues that haven't gotten me so exasparated that I'm ready to permanently block my internet tube with movies and other things that would normally be loaded onto big trucks.

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Because the UN won't get off of its corrupt behind to enforce its own resolutions.

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You have repeatedly accused UN officials of corruption in Iraqs oil for food program. Yet, according to Joy Gordon of Harper's Magazine and Scott Ritter of Independent UK, the charge was actually an attempt to cover up long-term US government complicity in this corruption. Ritter says, this posturing is nothing more than a hypocritical charade, designed to shift attention away from the debacle of George Bushs self-made quagmire in Iraq, and legitimize the invasion of Iraq by using Iraqi corruption and not the now-missing weapons of mass destruction, as the excuse. Gordon arrives at the conclusion that, perhaps it is unsurprising that today the only role its seems the United States expects the UN to play in the continuing drama of Iraq is that of scapegoat.

The accusations against the Oil for Food Program have served as a springboard for general attacks on the credibility of the United Nations as a whole, as well as personal attacks on Kofi Annan. For the most part the mainstream media has seized on the accusations and repeated them, without doing any of the research that would give the discussion more integrity. For example, the United Nations is criticized for its failures, and the Secretary General is then blamed because these events happened on his watch. What was not mentioned at all for the first year of media coverage is that the UN is made up of several different parts, and that the part that designed and oversaw the Oil for Food Program was the Security Council, whose decisions cannot be overridden or modified in any way by the Secretary General. Not only that, while the most vitriolic accusations against the UN have come from the United States, the US is in fact the most dominant member of the Security Council. The US agreed to all the decisions and procedures of the Oil for Food Program that are now being so harshly criticized as failures of the United Nations.

The mainstream press, for the most part, has repeated that the Oil for Food Program lacked accountability, oversight, or transparency. What is most striking about this is that the elaborate structure of oversight that was in fact in placeand is never mentioned at allis so easily available. It is on the programs site in complete detail along with huge amounts of information, making the program in fact highly transparent. Yet the mainstream press coverage reflects none of this.

Last fall we saw the beginnings of some acknowledgement of the US responsibility for Iraqs ongoing smuggling, as some Democrats introduced evidence in hearings that all three US administrations knew of and supported Iraqs illicit trade with Jordan and Turkey. The press picked that up, but little else.

http://www.harpers.org/TheUNisUS.html
http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1212-23.htm

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France? Germany? Russia? The ones who stalled the longest because of their Oil-for-Food ties? Some allies.

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See above.

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And besides, we still have quite a few allies (points to Japan, Austrailia, England, Canada, etcetera).

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You forgot about Syria, China, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, The Philippines, etcetera.

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(looks at the nearest gas station) Hmm. I don't see any price gouging. o.o

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I live in the second most oil-rich nation on the planet, and yet I spend roughly $40 a week on gas for my Golf. Also, diesel costs more than gasoline, even though it is cheaper to produce. That's price gouging if I ever saw it.

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Global warming isn't the issue for me; it's the fact that some people *coughAlGorecough* blame a cyclical climate on humans? What about the last warming period? Where were the SUVs? We can't even accurately predict the weather a week from now; how are we supposed to predict our effect on the global climate?

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In an earlier thread, months ago, we discussed this matter. We soundly trounced all these talking points and more. Do you realize what an idiot you make yourself look like by bringing them up? Are you completely incapable of critical thought, sir?

No, you don't need to answer those questions. I know why you still act as though the trends of the last eighty years have even the slightest similarity to natural processes. And why you ignore the fact that just about every qualified individual on God's green earth disagrees with your views. It is because you simply refuse to admit that you are wrong. You harbour no interest for intelligent or rational discourse, and no regard for the truth. Away with you. Come back when you have something constructive to add.

List of scientists opposing global warming consensus
Grand total: 14. And that includes the one who does not deny that global warming is occurring but feels that it will be beneficial to our well-being.

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You forgot about Syria, China, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, The Philippines, etcetera.

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You forgot one.

How could I forget Poland?!

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LOL I FORGOT POLITICS WAS THAT SIMPLE SORY LOL

You've just insulted my mother and father, SonicV2. I'd appreciate an apology of some sort.

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I'm sorry.... But how did I offend them? Are they Republican or 'Christian' extremist who only cares for the rich... And how come you weren't insulted?

I knew what this topic was going to be like when I read the first post. <3

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I live in the second most oil-rich nation on the planet, and yet I spend roughly $40 a week on gas for my Golf. Also, diesel costs more than gasoline, even though it is cheaper to produce. That's price gouging if I ever saw it.

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Diesel was steadily rising in price in the 1994-2004 period, where it finally became more expensive than gasoline. This coincides with the fact that Europe has a much higher demand for diesel than in previous years; over half of some European countries have cars with diesel engines.

Of course, the most obvious factor were the particularly deadly Gulf hurricanes of previous years (especially last year), which brought down a lot of refineries. And even then, most of the refineries, until recently, were refining only gasoline instead of diesel.

And let me reiterate Cycle:

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Global warming isn't the issue for me

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It's the idea that humankind gets more blame than a certain big ball of fire that we happen to orbit that ticks me off.

As I made clear in that same thread you linked, I do not deny the existence of global warming. I do not deny that humans have had some impact on global temperatures. I do NOT think, on the other hand, that humans are solely responsible. I also do not think that global warming is the end of the world, as a lot of people are claiming.

As I said in the thread you linked:

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I'm not debating that humans haven't contributed to climate change. Far from it. Merely saying that climate change is inevitable, and the globabl climate will eventually cool down and heat up again. It's all in cycles.

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And trust me, I would like it if we cut off relations with China, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Pakistan, and the Phillipines.

Hmm...

Here's a hypothetical: How would you all react if I became President of the United States? :3

For the record, so long as we didn't have anyone like Blair in British parliamentary leadership at the time, I wouldn't be able to care less, most likely. 😯

also this thread is hilarious. This has to be said.

And I'm not referring to the first post alone either.

I would just like to point out, that even at a logical standpoint, that's a completely flawed view of thinking. That's like stating every single Democrat is an Abortionist that wants to take God out of the pledge, give all our jobs to minorities and unfiltered freedoms to everyone. IT'S JUST NOT TRUE, and your pointless, and utterly repugnant attempts at bashing are fleeting at best.

*agrees that we need more parties.*

It's been almost proven that, if you give two sides to choose amongst a group, they will instantly mold into opposing polar extremities.

Oh. You still owe Dirk Amoeba an apology. Give it now.

~Nytloc Penumbral Lightkeeper

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I'm sorry.... But how did I offend them? Are they Republican or 'Christian' extremist who only cares for the rich... And how come you weren't insulted?

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Because you, MaurauerOSU, and to some extent Wonderbat and DoN have flippantly implied that all republicans (and, therefore, my parents and freinds) are Christian extremists who hate gays and put puppies through paper shredders.

And I was insulted, but not personally insulted, because as I've said before, I'm definitely not a Republican. Just one of those increasingly rare people who believes that it's wrong to stereotype people as stupid/insane/evil just because they have a different political philosophy from you.

THE SUN IS A LARGE JAWBREAKER.

<i>Kickass.</i.>

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Bigot: a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.

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Yep. That's Ultra, all right. At least I'm willing to listen. Ultra just blows us off with BS.

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Because you, MaurauerOSU, and to some extent Wonderbat and DoN have flippantly implied that all republicans (and, therefore, my parents and freinds) are Christian extremists who hate gays and put puppies through paper shredders.

And I was insulted, but not personally insulted, because as I've said before, I'm definitely not a Republican. Just one of those increasingly rare people who believes that it's wrong to stereotype people as stupid/insane/evil just because they have a different political philosophy from you.

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Believe me, if this was Democrat bashing topic, I would be bashing them also. I also know that not ALL Republicans are extremists who hate gays. And I don't view the Republican party as stupid/evil/insane, hence the three ' ' I put there.

But I know the problems. During most of the time when a Republican is president, the rich gets richer and the poor becomes poorer.

I got a better idea... how about you don't bash anyone?

Pulling this away from the annoying drama that seems to consume any political-related post...

I thought this was funny 😀 Very amusing satire, thank you for sharing. And I would very much like to see a democratic one if there is one, because though my beliefs tend to lean that way, I think it would be very funny too.

What happened to the time when people could laugh at themselves and move on?

~Shadowed Spirit Sage

MarauderOSU,
Hows the weather on that pedastol of yours? How about making a decent point, instead of randomly bashing a group of people you hardly know?

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Yep. That's Ultra, all right. At least I'm willing to listen.

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lolz

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Ultra just blows us off with BS.

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You know, you certainly aren't being very civil for one who claims to listen.

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What happened to the time when people could laugh at themselves and move on?

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If it was presented in a more humorous and less serious manner, my satire meter would've clicked in. I have no problem with humor at my own expense, but context has a lot to do with it.

For instance, George Bush humor like this makes me laugh. Know why? It's obviously presented as humor. Marauder's post, on the other hand, came off as mostly an anti-Republican screed.

There you go again.

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If it was presented in a more humorous and less serious manner, my satire meter would've clicked in. I have no problem with humor at my own expense, but context has a lot to do with it.

For instance, George Bush humor like this makes me laugh. Know why? It's obviously presented as humor. Marauder's post, on the other hand, came off as mostly an anti-Republican screed.

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Pretty much what I was going to have said. Marauder's post was more "vicious flamebait" than "satire."

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There you go again.

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YAYZ @ Meaningless one-liners

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YAYZ @ Meaningless one-liners

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You may not realize this, but a famous conservative used that in a debate.

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I don't need to. I think your words speak for themselves.

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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And again for GOOD measure

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I don't need to. I think your words speak for themselves.

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

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~Rico (Who DOESN'T shun people cause a book said to)

Dirk, shut it.

Ultra is taking this off topic and if he continues he'll recieve a warning because I'm not in a lenient mood. Marauder is just trying to get him to quit filling this forum with bigoted filth.

~Rico

It's a satire! IT's OBVIOUSLY a satire. Why are you people LOOKING for reasons to be insulted? I should just ban the lot of you, right now. NO CLOUDS! Be happy, or I'll MAKE you happy.

...

*points finger accusingly* MODRIGHTS!

~Rico (Will be laughing when this christian idjits are burning in hell)

Then stop idling and start telling the clouds to be gone.

~Rico

Believe me, if this was Democrat bashing topic, I would be bashing them also. I also know that not ALL Republicans are extremists who hate gays. And I don't view the Republican party as stupid/evil/insane, hence the three ' ' I put there.

But I know the problems. During most of the time when a Republican is president, the rich gets richer and the poor becomes poorer.

SV2 you would be shocked to know my family is a middle class christian/repulican family. And find something to back up the "WHEN A REPULICAN IS PRES THE POOR GET POORER AND THE RICH GET EVEN RICHER" crap. Also someone needs to make a sterotyping Democrat thread and see whats happens >>

Hey Rico, ever hear of the edit button?

Even speaking as a liberal, the initial post was obviously meant to be flambait. It's a satiracal e-mail or whatever, but its presentation and the responses its generated have created what it was initially intended to incite.

Technically, under the hybrid view he's not double posting. He's replying directly to posts in sub-threads.

Don't try to act like a mod towards mods. It's good advice to follow 😯

Hello All ,

Thank you for using the Sonic HQ messageboard.

It seems there is an issue with discussion placement. Please refer to the following rules.

In order to maintain a friendly image I will begin removing posts in violation of these rules follow this post.

Moderator Notes:

This is a SATIRE thread. Since you're obviously incapable of telling that or choose to ignore it. ANY further marble garden talk in here will be removed. Take your discussions of elephant vs democrat and how gays are evil and how hillary should be tarred and feathered, HERE.

Thank you for posting on Sonic HQ!
Good luck and happy posting!

Rico Underwood
Board Administrator
SHQ Staff

Please refer to my post.