Okay I really think I have a problem. Its probably not uncommon but its really starting to effect me and I'm really at a loss of what to do. I hate feeling powerless.

I guess I'll give a fairly decent overview from the beginning so that whoever is reading this understands. Two years ago this guy came up to me in school and just randomly started talking to me. Asked me for my number and was trying to get with me for a good few months. I hated him. I thought he was a terrible person and I wanted him to just leave me alone. But after a while I actually started to talk to him and we really seemed to some sort of wierd but amazing connection and he wasnt as bad as I thought he was. And eventually I realized that I really had feelings for this boy. So I told him. And we started hanging out outside of school and then he asked me out.
It was an awkward relationship because we really didnt know eachother. It was good in the very beginning but then he just started treating me bad so I broke up with him. We hated eachother after that I guess. He moved on. And I didnt talk to him for almost two years. But I thought about him every single day and it made no sense to me because it seemed like such a meaningless relationship.
Then at the beginning of this year, he had broken up with his girlfriend and came back into the state. He told friends of ours that he was looking for me. They warned him that they would inform me of this, but if he broke my heart there would be a fight between him and them.
A couple months later, I was with those same friends and they called him, told him I was with them and he dropped his plans to see me. So then we started talking again. We were hanging out atleast twice a week and talking on the phone all the time. And then ofcourse he started playing too many games, so I called him and cussed him out and told him I didnt want to talk to him anymore.
A week later he called me and told me he really wanted to be with me. And I told him I just didnt want any bulls***. So we were together again. Then he started living up to his promises for a VERY short while. But we really got along great. At the same time we got back together, he had just gotten a new job at a bar. Then I didnt see or talk to him for a couple weeks after he willingly changed his schedule to double-shifts because he needed the money. Every time I called he was always stressed out.
So after getting fed up, I called him and lightly b*tched at him for doing this to me AGAIN.....Then he told me he barely even sees his friends anymore because of his job, and that I should find someone else who can give me the attention I need in a relationship, and that we dont knos where we would be in a couple years. And that he was doing this so he could go out-of-state for 5 months to go to school to be a firefighter. I was devistated. But we didnt really break up mad at eachother like last time.
The last time I talked to him was I guess about a month ago. And still, I think about him every day. Its not one of those childish "omigish I likes this guy and like omg he's perfect!" no. I've grown up alot the past couple years and the things I feel for this guy and this situation are like nothing I can compare to anything else. He really sucks sometimes, he has pleanty of imperfections, he exadderates alot, he's wierd, and he really pisses me off.
But I'm in love with him. And I wish I never met him because of this. I dont get in situations like this. I dont know how to explain it but its proved to not be a 'oh you'll find someone else, it'll be okay.' things. I dont catch feelings for guy barely ever and this kind of feeling is a first. I'm just not a boy chaser.
I feel really empty without him, and when he does things like this I have a very hard time moving forward in life. I could see myself marrying him, but I could also see us never talking again. And at this point I feel like even if I did find another guy, he still wouldnt be able to measure up. Sometimes I can barely get up in the morning because I think about us not being together in the future. Hell, I'm crying just typing this.
Well, I'm a really outgoing person, and I stay ontop of priorities and I'm not one to let things bring me down completely and failing at life. I still go out and have fun, and party,, and go to school, and work and whatever else it is that I do. But I'm always still overwhelmed by this in the back of my mind. I miss the hell out of him and every day I just get through thinking that he's going to come back one day. And it shocks me that I love him because our relationships were both stupid and pointless.
I dont know what I expect anyone to have to say for me, I guess I just need to vent and it hard to talk to iRL friends about it as I'm better at writing feelings than speaking them. I dont know why i had to cop feelings like this for someone. I just want it to go away.

Blah....I need a drink.