Lister: No one's got any virus and no one's smeggin' nuts!
Rimmer: Well, that's good.
The observation window depolarises, revealing Rimmer. He is NOT in uniform.
Rimmer: Is something amiss?
Lister: Amiss? God no, what could possibly be amiss?
Rimmer: You don't think there's anything amiss? I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked gingham dress and army boots and you think that's un-amiss?
Cat: No, of course not. It's just that we thought you had gone nuts! We were tryin' to humour you.
Rimmer: I was just doing a little test -- a little test to see if you had gone crazy.
He tenses and lets out a horrible yell.
Rimmer: CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! If there is one thing I can't stand it's crazy people.
Lister: Well we've passed the test, Rimmer. You can let us out.
Rimmer: I can't let you out.
Lister: Why not?
Rimmer: Because the King of the Potato People won't let me. I begged him. I got down on my knees and wept. He wants to keep you here. Keep you here for ten years.
Cat: Could we see him?
Rimmer: See who?
Cat: The King.
Rimmer: Do you have a magic carpet?
Lister: Yeah, a little three-seater.
Rimmer: So, let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you are completely sane?!
"Hey kids! I'm Krusty the Clown and tonight I'm going to suck!"
(pause. Prompt card is changed)
"Your blood!"
(The Simpsons, one of the Halloween Specials)
On the other hand, it might be cool to be in one of those text-based adventures. You know, for those intellectual people with better imaginations.
Ye find yeself in yon dungeon. Ye see a FLASK. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
What wouldst thou deau?
And you'd be all like...
Get ye flask.
And it'd say, you can't get ye flask!
And you'd just have to sit there and imagine why on Earth you can't get ye flask! Because the game's certainly not going to tell you.
And there's no precious graphics to help you out, either. - Strong Bad
"There's nothing bad about masturbating, it's just like having sex with somebody you love" - Woody Allen
"How the **** are you London...?" - Bruce Dickenson, or almost any rockstar you cna think of.
Homer: "Mmmm... 64 slices of American cheese. 64... 63... (turns to morning) 2... 1..."
Marge: "Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?"
Homer: "I think I'm blind..."
(The Simpsons, Rosebud)
That episode really makes me laugh.
"Either that wallpaper goes or I do." - final words of Oscar Wilde.
"Every man has his disciples, but it is always Judas who writes the biography" - Wilde again.
"I'm getting excited!"
Amy, Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
"Let me show you my real power!"
Shadow, Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
It's just the way they say it. They picked it and said it especially so that it would sound incredibly dirty.
Fleetways StC "Sonic3+Knux" adaptation: Sonic and Knux are fighting Metallix (Metal Sonic) on Sky Sanctuary zone. Knux gets knocked out, then Sonic touches the Master Emerald and goes super. Knux comes round to see bits of Metallix flying through the air above him.
"Hmm...that looks straingely like Metallix's head..."
ALSO
Matrix 1 where Neo is in the office and Morphius phones him. He tells him to look over at the elevator, which he does, and sees police officers and Agents coming his way. He curses and dives back down into his cubicle.
Morphius: "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!"
lol always cracks me up ><
"Amy Rose is here!"
"Let's do it!"
Amy and Sonic, Sonic Adventure Two Battle
"I was thinking of buying one of those widescreen High Definition LSD screens"
- My dad
Principal Skinner is tied up in a basketball bag. His hamster is by his side. He says:
"Chew through my ball bag!"
the hamster squeals and runs away.
"Well, that can't be good."
Dwayne, 'Rat Race', as the airport's navigation system activates.
Dwayne and Blaine's insane antics in that clip make me laugh, and the Incidental music 'In The Hall The Mountain King" sets it perfectly.
I say it all the time.
Second World War Science Fiction humour runs amuck:
Patient: "Doctor Constantine, my leg's grown back!"
Dr. Constentine: "Well there is a war on...is it possible you miscounted?"
In which 2 alpha males from the future prepare their equipment before a fight, Jack Harkness equiped with a digital Sonic Blaster thing and the Doctor, not really wanting to say what he's got in his pocket:
The Doctor: "It's sonic, totally sonic - I am sonic-ed up!"
Jack: "A sonic what?"
The Doctor: "SCREWDRIVER!"
... *long silence*
Jack: "Who has a sonic screwdriver?"
The Doctor: "I do!"
Jack: "Who looks at a screwdriver and think, 'ooh...this can be a bit more sonic?'"
Me, in a hooters.
"No thanks, I don't like hot things...Well, I don't like hot sauce anyway...Heh..."
Me, in an Rp
"Never Chaos Control drunk..."
See my sig. o.o
"Let me fix you up something special... cus you're nothing but a big, fat, monkey turd..."
Wayne Grey, Evolution
Always makes me crack up.
"I feel like a kid in some kind of a store."
Homer Simpson, from the episode 'Homer Badman'. He's at a candy convention, come ON people.
I never wanted to say it, but its an awesome quote from transformers the movie: "Megatron must be stopped. No matter the cost."-Optimus Prime
"On the other hand, it might be cool to be in one of those text-based adventures. You know, for those intellectual people with better imaginations.
Ye find yeself in yon dungeon. Ye see a FLASK. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and DENNIS.
What wouldst thou deau?
And you'd be all like...
Get ye flask.
And it'd say, you can't get ye flask!
And you'd just have to sit there and imagine why on Earth you can't get ye flask! Because the game's certainly not going to tell you.
And there's no precious graphics to help you out, either."
I quoted that whole thing at school when someone started complaining about Star Wars Galaxies getting botched up by Sony. We had a good laugh about it.
Doctor: "You broke my arm!"
Sarah Connor: "There are 215 bones in your body. That's one. Now don't move."
Terminator 2
"Thats life in the fast lane." This quote was said when one of the Eagles member was in a car with a friend, and the friend pushed the car to over 80mph. Whe nasked why, he answered with said quote.
"Where's your concentration? You guys are running around out there like a bunch of chickens with your heads cut off!"
Gordon Bombay, D2: The Mighty Ducks
"O've gto a bad feeling about this..." - said many times, but the earliest I remember hearing it said was in Sta Wars: A New Hope.
IT'S A TRAP!
wow...I just discovered this topic...Here's mine dollars worth...
Cause thats what people do They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise we just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down Why in the hell did I jump? -Hitch
"Why do we fall?...So that we can learn to pick ourselves back up again." -Alfred, Batman Begins
"Never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away." -Hitch
"Courage is not the absence of fear, only the belief that something is more important than fear."
I have not failed. I have successfully discovered twelve hundred ideas that dont work. Thomas Edison
All that is gold does not glitter,/ Not all those who wander are lost;/ The old that is strong does not wither,/ Deep roots are not reached by the frost./ From the ashes afire shall be woken,/ A light from the shadows shall spring;/ Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,/ The crownless again shall be king. -Tolkien
"For one brief moment, there was light at the end of the tunnel..." Sam the Bald Eagle
If I can find them, I'll throw up some censored Red vs. Blue clips...maybe some Family Guy too...
Just thought of another one...
"Looks like you're going to Hell in a handbasket..."-My English teacher...Mrs. Anderson
The last one is a common expression @ Hero.
Oh, oh...I'm double posting...so shoot me...
EDIT: Thank you, Wonderbat, you just saved me...yeah, 'common'...I don't hear it much over here in Minnesota...
These are quotes from different teachers at my old High School...
-There is nothing funnier than a suburban kid trying to act bad. Mr. Rod
-Bowler, you paid Giff to sit on your lap?!?! Mr. Theisen
-Hello Mr. Cent, can I have your autograph? Mr. Ferguson (our Dean of Students)
-Careful not to wake him up Mr.Thompson
-No, wrong, youre stupid. Can anyone smart answer this question?!?! Mr. Glynn
-Your shirt is SO tucked in that its airtight kinda creepy! Ms. Grehl
-Dont play leap frog with a unicorn.Mr. Granlund
-"Remember the monkeys Mr. Schwalen
-He took it while you were flapping your gums like a ducks rear in the wind. Mrs. Anderson
-I hate teenagers. Mr. Glynn
-You stupid little kids! Mr. Rubio
-I dont look too bad in a dress. Mr. Loahr
-So you have a photographic memory eh? Guess there was no film the camera the day of this test! Mr. Cepress
-What is up my fellow dog? Mr. Jeffries
-How do we solve this one? It starts with an F and ends with actor oh right. Factor. Mr. Granlund
-If you dont know Calculus, in 10, 15, 20, 25 years America will become a third world country. Mr. Thompson
-The far reaching consequences are far reaching. Mr. Rubio
-If you dont like your spot, blame your parents. Mr. Loahr
-Irish men are magically delicious. Ms.
Grehl
-Yes, youre all going to die. Mr.
Thompson
Hey Marty, go ahead and put your lips
around the cows trachea and blow up its
lungs. Mr. Ferguson
-I could train a monkey to do this. Mr.
Thompson (Talking about Calculus...)
-They wanted to build the Panama Canal
in Nicaragua, but it was too junglified.
Mr. Theisen
-Teenagers problem is that they forget
everything. Mr. Rubio
-A one legged man cant dance! Mr.
Shimek
And now some random teacher quotes...
You cant swing a dead cat without hitting a Walmart.
This class is making me rethink my career choice.
She said Habra, not a bra My gosh! Why dont we all make farting noises with our armpits and get it over with.
EDIT #2: found some more on my school's website...The last school newspaper of the year always has favorite teacher quotes by the seniors...
Teaching some of you reminds me of having a pet monkey. Mr.Rubio
Dude, what did you do to your face? Mr. Rubio
You need to learn how to learn. Mr. Thompson
If you were wondering, Im passing back the papers from worst to best. Mr. Campion
[Cough] Freak! Oh sorry my timing was off! Mr. Granlund
Its like when youre riding along in a bus and someone yells, Hey, Look! Theres a naked man outside! Mr. Emond
Certain answers have a higher level of rightness than others. Mr. Theisen
I love communism, I am a communist. Mr. Loahr
It's not a double post, but if it were, there's an 'Edit' button.
It would have been...I didn't see you had posted right after I did...
