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Have You Been Through The Proper Eating Channels?

 
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MF Central 2
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 Evil WB
(@evil-wb)
Posts: 0
11/30/2000 3:08 pm
New Member
Topic starter
 

Many of you have often asked - "I'm A Newbie, So why havent I been eaten yet?"

Here at the Mobius Forum, we take pride in eating fresh and wholesome newbies! None of that tough meat for us! Newbies are rich in protien you know! That, and its just a long standing tradition... ^__^

Are you currently having trouble being eaten? We are aware of your eating woes and to provide better service, We at Evil WB Inc. would like to suggest that you try our new "Mofo Ingestion Troubleshooting Guide!"

We are also currently aware that people are experiencing certain audio-visual problems upon being eaten and are working as hard as we can to update our Dubbasoft eating servers for better use in public chomping. ^_^

Evil WB's Newbie Eating Application Process

1. Open Internet Explorer from your Programs menu. Go to the Mobius Forum and click "Post new Topic". Title Your Post something along the lines of:

"HELLO I AM OBVIOUSLY A NEWBIE WITH NO SENSE OF DIRECTION WHATSOEVER. FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY PLEASE EAT ME I AM BEGGING TO BE MADE FUN OF AS I TYPE MY MESSAGE ANNOYINGLY IN ALL CAPS!"

2. On the Advanced Emoticon Settings tab of the EZBoard, click the 😛 icon to show that you are a nice and well meaning, but friendly, twit.

3. On the Your Comments tab, type one of the following sentences in the Large Font Size list:

HELLO I AM LOOKING FOR insert really stupid thing that has nothing to do with nothing here PLEASE HELP ME CUZ I RILLY RILLY LYKE SAWNEEC THA HEDGE-HAAAAAAAWG AND I THEENK YER SYTE IS KEYWLL!!!Q%^#@(*&^RE(*7

Wait a few minutes to an hour for Evil WB (or one of his many Forumer Representatives) to come along and check requests and voila - you shall be queued instantly for being "newbie eaten"! ^___^

Another way to be eaten, which is much quicker, but is bound to make you more enemies is to open Post New Topic, make one sentence, and continously reply to yourself inanely until you have efficiently flooded the board and people are screaming to burn your mangled shriveled bones (which they themselves beat you up for) until you die a slow horrible death by listening to an endlessly repeating tape of The Macarena or The Barney Song! 🙂

In situations like this, most likely, it is also noteable that the newbie often ends up eating themselves in sheer animocity to this obvious torture.

We hope that this small tutorial has educated you on the proper was to fully signify that you are a newbie and thus begging to be eaten.

Of course - dont blame us if Evil WB or someone else just eats you anyway, out of the sheer principle of the thing ^__^

Adieu!

Evil WB Inc.
A Division of Mofo Enterprises Unlimited!
Eating newbies and nacking weasels for fun and profit in good single gulps since 1997!

"It's DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-lish!" - Evil WB, Owner and Proprietor

 
 Svanuri
(@svanuri)
Posts: 0
11/30/2000 3:24 pm
New Member
 

So THAT'S why I haven't been eaten ... I know where my caps lock key is and don't know HTML ... I see now *nods* Thank you for explaining.

 
 WB
(@_wb_)
Posts: 419
11/30/2000 3:33 pm
Honorable Member
 

**eats Svanuri !!!***

BURP!

Now wasnt that nice of me? :lol

 
 Samanfur the Fox
(@samanfur-the-fox)
Posts: 2116
11/30/2000 3:47 pm
Noble Member
 

*points to Vec`s `Newbie of the Month` award, and whaps Dub repeatedly with a trout until he spits Svanuri out*

I called dibs on this one! Go and find your own newbie! 😉

 
 Svanuri
(@svanuri)
Posts: 0
12/01/2000 5:13 am
New Member
 

I don't react well to admin stomach acids ... please put me back ... pretty please? *jabs with newbie of the month award*

 
 Rex Killiante
(@rex-killiante_1722585682)
Posts: 0
12/07/2000 2:28 pm
New Member
 

SO EAT ME, GODDAMNIT!!!!

 
 Joey McKlay
(@joey-mcklay_1722585682)
Posts: 0
12/07/2000 3:15 pm
New Member
 

There's something darkly funny about someone yelling "EAT ME, GODDAMNIT!"

 
 DoubleCross
(@doublecross_1722585682)
Posts: 0
12/08/2000 2:48 pm
New Member
 

Why have I not been eaten? Even though I've been registered for what, almost 4 months, I am somewhat new, yes? And newbies have to be eaten so that they won't be newbies anymore and so they know what it's like to be eaten by a non-newbie and be.. uh... a fellow non-newbie! That way I will not be a newbie anymore and can go about my business like all of you and not be a newbie! I deserve non-newbieness, too! "I AM MOFO JOJO!!!" :rollin

If I'm not eaten soon, I'm taking this insubordination straight to your boss!!!

*reads the last part of EWB's 1st post*

OHHHHHHH.... YOU'RE the boss. Uh-huh...
Would you like me to fluff your pillow? Get you a mint? Pit you an olive?

*I'm so scared right now...* ^_^

 
 Hyper Anthony
(@hyper-anthony)
Posts: 45
12/17/2000 11:31 am
Trusted Member
 

Hmmm.... That's Why. Ok... EAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAID EAT ME! Mr. Evil WB Thing surrounded by an army of Rubber Chickens I said EAT ME!

 
 deletedprofile.u
(@deletedprofile-u_1722586485)
Posts: 1321
12/17/2000 11:44 am
Noble Member
 

Well, it was actually inadvertant. I was fighting with a bunch of people, and for no reason, I was eaten alive by Evil Dub's somewhat nicer twin. I wasn't even a newbie! Wasn't that nice of him? So there, newbies! :b

 
 deletedprofile.u
(@deletedprofile-u_1722586485)
Posts: 1321
12/17/2000 1:06 pm
Noble Member
 

(Eats Rex like Krakens' super form in Power Stone)

ROAR!

YUM YUM!

Very nutritious! 😛

(Spits Rex out)

 
 deletedprofile.u
(@deletedprofile-u_1722586485)
Posts: 1321
12/17/2000 1:09 pm
Noble Member
 

(Eats Double...er...however you do that cross thing Cross Kraken style!)

Yummy! I'm getting the hang of this! ^__^

 
 Star Echidna
(@star-echidna)
Posts: 0
01/24/2001 9:24 am
New Member
 

Hey Eat me eat me eat me!!! Wait on second thought AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*runs off at full speed only to be stopped by brick wall wich he breaks through but theres metal inside to brick walls and he hits that. Then goes down like a tree* NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 The Real Tails
(@the-real-tails)
Posts: 98
01/24/2001 2:20 pm
Estimable Member
 

You are no longer in the NPD jurisdiction so if someone wants to eat you they can with no inference from the NPD.

Later,
RT

 
 Vector
(@vector_1722585681)
Posts: 99
01/30/2001 2:08 am
Estimable Member
 

*eats Calista* BURP! Hmm... ya know, Dub's not keeping up with the newbie eating lately. Diet perhaps? 😛

 
 Mr ToRTuRe
(@mr-torture)
Posts: 0
01/31/2001 1:15 pm
New Member
 

so? waht are ya waiting for? EAT ME!!!!

no? then... COMETE ESTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 Shadow
(@shadow)
Posts: 0
01/31/2001 1:43 pm
New Member
 

Yup..just as RT said...it's newbie free week! Soo..if any newbie pops in here...eat them! And have fun!!

Shadow

 
 Unknown
(@unknown_1722585797)
Posts: 110053
12/31/2004 2:00 pm
Illustrious Member
 

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