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Yes, we've definitely heard all about Uwe Boll's claim that if a million concerned gamers were to band together, say via internet petition, he'd stop making movies. You can throttle bak on the tips, Turbo. While no one at the Kotaku Towers complex believes that Uwe will give up the movie biz for a second, it doesn't seem to have curbed enthusiasm for an internet rallying cry. How does Mr. Boll respond? In shattered English, Boll says he hopes that someone, somewhere will start a pro-Uwe petition. Why? Here's why. "I'm not a %!##%!# retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same **@%%@ movies over and over again," says Boll. "If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius you know, and if you go on May 23 on Postal you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years, what is way better as all that social critic George Clooney %$+%%+$* what you get every %!##%!# weekend." Pretty infallible, but if it's not clear yet, Boll clearly illustrates that you're at fault, not him. "You have to really wake up and you have to see me what I am," he says. "I am the only genius in the whole %!##%!# business. Goodbye." Genius? And how! He's got a legion of anti-fans paying him more attention than ever as Postal approaches. I'm off to generate that pro-Boll petition, 'cause if Boll stops making movies, we're out a half-dozen posts a month. Oh, and sprinkle some [sic] around this post. It's all verbatim.