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Debate 2009!
 
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Debate 2009!

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(@nukeallthewhales_1722027993)
Posts: 1044
Noble Member
Topic starter
 

Please answer A, B or other (don't have a toilet roll holder or those posh people with bum washers etc).

 
(@fexus)
Posts: 489
Reputable Member
 

Anyone who votes B is a communist!

And not the good kind, the baaaad kind.

 
(@veckums)
Posts: 1758
Noble Member
 

Eww B is gross it gets the paper on the wall or holder first.

 
(@darkest-light)
Posts: 1376
Noble Member
 

B is ok. I have mine at A currently. Whats wrong with the walls in your house if you're worried about B, Veckums?

...got some Atomic droppers I see. Yeah. Big splash back unloaders...

ditching the bodies 3 at a time type detonation...

 
(@super-rayzor_1722027929)
Posts: 1381
Noble Member
 

I prefer A and that's the way it usually is, but I not sure how is at the moment.

 
(@one-tru-blu)
Posts: 2097
Noble Member
 

Our toilet roll holder broke years ago and we have never replaced it.

We are truely living life on the edge.

 
(@silvershadow)
Posts: 1008
Noble Member
 

Whoa there OTB, that's pretty wild, man.

Also, this topic title is misleading! It clearly states "Debate" in the title, but I see precious little debate going on!

Therefore, I shall now present two carefully nuanced essays debating the merits of each method of hanging the toilet roll on the holder.

Method A, also referred to as the "overhand", the "overarm" and the "free roller".
This is the more commonly-seen means of hanging the humble toilet roll upon it's holder, as seen in many urban dwellings, public lavatories and dens of iniquity. Proponents of this method cite the ease of use with which the paper can be drawn from its roll, and the higher level of hygiene afforded by the prevention of the paper from adhering to the surface upon which its holder resides. Indeed, the former of these advantages is the very reason this means has earned the latter nickname referenced in the opening sentence of this essay.
This means of hanging the roll originated, not as many have mistakenly thought, in France, but rather had much humbler beginnings in West Yorkshire, some time during the miner's strikes. The disgruntled wife of one particularly grimy miner, referred to by his associates as "Black Tom" in reference to how covered with coal dust the man would be when emerging from the mine, grew tired of her husband's work causing him to leave big black handprints on the usually spotless white tiles of their bathroom walls, and thus began hanging the toilet roll in the new fashion, resulting in the man being able to remove the roll from the holder without getting his hands anywhere near the spotless tiles. The resultant effect this had on the local community and eventually the wider world should not be underestimated - and while it is true it had no significant impact on the miner's strikes, and that also Mrs Bradshaw's bathroom still continued to suffer the indignity of having a dirty miner in it, this simple act of altering how the roll was hung did nevertheless change our world forever.
With that said, let us not also underestimate the inherent downsides that this method of hanging roll brings. The most commonly cited problem with this method is an excess of paper being extracted from the roll - a phenomenon referred to as various things including (but not limited to) "over-rolling", "over-spin", "spinning out", "over-feed", "rip-cording" and "oh bloody hell not again". This is easy to observe - all it requires is an excess of pulling force on the free end of the roll, thus causing a larger amount of rotational force than intended and as a result creating a large pile of toilet paper on the floor. This problem can be compounded if the floor surface happens to be at all moist, as the paper will then begin to carry out it's natural function and absorb the moisture - thus resulting in a substance known as papier mache, or soggy paper in layman's terms. In extreme cases, the excess of force may even cause the paper to be fed around the roll in a direction opposite to that in which the paper is wrapped around the roll. This is highly dangerous, and should not be attempted as most toilet roll manufacturers will instantly void warranty on any roll found in this state, to say nothing of putting the rol, itself in a state of counter-roll flux. Use caution and only the required amount of force to extricate what paper you require from the roll.

Moving on, Method B: also commonly referred to as the "under-hand", the "under-arm" (referring to the "arm" of the roll holder"), the "roll brake", the "horse's tongue" and, in some isolated rural coastal towns, the "crab knackerer" (more about this later). Those in favour of this means of hanging the roll often cite as it's positive points the fact that this is the "classic" or "proper" way of hanging the roll, and that it is more aesthetically pleasing than the above method. In addition, they also may point out the aforementioned problems of Method A - in particular, the problem of excess force causing counter-roll obstruction. Indeed, this means of hanging the roll lends itself well to avoiding this problem, as the lay of the roll feeds straight towards the ground - so in the event of excess force being applied, a "oh bloody hell not again" is more likely to occur. Which, whilst problematic, is much less severe than counter-roll flux.
This method of hanging the toilet roll has been in existence almost as long as toilet roll itself, making it at least three quarters of a century old. Originally, there was not a dwelling in all the land whose water closets did not proudly display their rolls hung in this fashion, with paper almost flush to the wall. Indeed, during the great Toilet Roll Holder Boom of the 1700s, craftsmen worked hard for long hours in their workshops attempting to create the perfect holder striking the delicate balance between aesthetic and hygiene - that is to say, creating a holder that would place the roll as close to the wall as possible (as was the fashion), and yet keep the roll itself in such a position that it would not chafe against, nor indeed make contact with, the surface to which its holder was attached. Sadly, many of the better examples of this kind of work are no longer fit for the purpose for which they were intended, thanks to modern day rolls having slowly grown in size throughout the years - thus rendering these delicate works of fine craftsmanship and, dare I say, art, useless.
As this method has been in existence longer than its more radical modern-day counterpart, it has thus had time to accumulate more interesting nicknames and colloquialisms. Of particular note are the latter two mentioned in this section's opening paragraph - the "horse's tongue" refers to the way in which the roll is "biting" the cross-bar of the roll holder, and the fashion in which the end of the roll hangs down - reminiscent of the mouth of a horse when wearing a bridle and bit. The last of those names referenced is of far more interest. The "crab knackerer" arose from the tale of one Vincent Ramsbottom who, whilst visiting a public lavatory at Brighton Pleasure Beach in the mid-to-late 1950s, discovered much to his disdain that a local crustacean had found its way into the pocket of his right trouser leg - and indeed was perilously close to his nether regions. Thinking quickly, although perhaps not too carefully, he at once took hold of the creature and extracted it from his pocket - but alas! Much to his chagrin, the shellfish clamped it's pincers around his fingers. In desperation (and in danger of losing the feeling in his hand), he quickly forced his hand behind the toilet roll hung next to the lavatory where he had been attending to business, and proceeded to hammer the devilish animal with the roll until it released its hold upon his digits. The crab knackerer was born, and indeed Mr Ramsbottom would later design a machine based upon his experience and give it the same name. Such devices are nowadays rarely seen, although you may be lucky enough to find one should you visit the home of its invention.

Thusly in closing it can clearly be seen that there are both advantages and drawbacks to both means of roll hanging. Indeed, whilst there are nowadays a number of different methods for hanging the roll (including the extremely controversial "on the side" method - madness!), one aiming to achieve the classic look in one's bathroom or lavatory will still face this difficult decision. Hopefully, this essay has helped increase understanding of which means would suit you best, and I do hope you have enjoyed this exploration of the humble roll holder's history.

~SilverShadow.

 
 Pach
(@pach)
Posts: 2234
Noble Member
 

You have too much time on your hands, SS.

I, like OTB, have no toilet holder either.

 
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
New Member Guest
 

A. No contest.

 
(@trudi-speed)
Posts: 841
Prominent Member
 

Definately A. If it's B then I have to take the roll out then put it in again like A. I don't like touching the wall when I'm getting some sheets 😮 Dunno why.

 
(@john-taylor_1722027898)
Posts: 1827
Noble Member
 

I don't have a toilet roll holder.

 
(@sonicv2)
Posts: 2191
Famed Member
 

A

Whoever says B ain't hip.

 
(@dreamer-of-nights)
Posts: 2354
Noble Member
 

You have too much time on your hands, SS.

I don't use the toilet holder (too low: when it splashes, it gets the paper wet).

 
(@full-metal-rayzor_1722585901)
Posts: 2809
Famed Member
 

Definately A. If it's B then I have to take the roll out then put it in again like A. I don't like touching the wall when I'm getting some sheets 😮 Dunno why.

I do that too, but I don't care whether it's touching the wall or not.

 
(@shigeru-akari)
Posts: 1055
Noble Member
 

I use method A. Or if I'm too lazy to put a new roll in the holder, I just set it on the sink counter next to me. Otherwise, it's method A.

 
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