I need it to buy stuff.

Okay, that's not entirely true. I need the money and credit cards inside the wallet to buy stuff. Please tell me you have credit cards. I really wanted to buy some things online, and I swear if I open that wallet up and those little card slots are filled with Smoothie King frequent visitor punchcards or, God help you, gift certificate cards. We probably shop at different stores, so I bet the gift cards won't be for any place I want to buy stuff at, and frankly, your friends and family must not like you very much to give you gift certificate in card form in the first place. It's basically the equivalent of having your money laminated, pressed into card form, given an expiration date, terms and conditions for use and allowed to only be used in certain stores. It's the gift that says "I love you enough to force you to shop at certain stores."

You can keep the wallet. I already have one. I just need the stuff inside it (as previously mentioned). Unless it's a leather wallet, because that sounds really nice and I probably should get a new one anyway. So yeah, never mind. You're not getting the wallet back. Just give it to me.