Editorial: No, THE SELFISH OF THE FANS and the WORKERS AT DiC are the REAL bad guys!

I just got this entry for the editorials page. I'm not sure whether this is a work of parody or a serious attempt at an editorial by an unbelievably deranged person, but several bits, especially the part about "ROMs" had me hysterical. Don't read unless you A) find stupidity hilarious and B) have a high tolerance for idiotic flames. I've added lines and HRs to make it more readable because the irritating nature of the content is bad enough. This is also really long and makes FexusFan look coherent, so although I recommend reading it all for the full comedic effect, I highlighted the best parts since for those who don't want to.

Note that the badly edited pic included in this editorial is converted from a 1.23MB BMP ATTACHMENT from the e-mail. Also, while I don't mean to excuse the often bashy things he quotes, the editorials he's responding to are 4-5 years old and he repeatedly makes it unclear whether he was able to read the dates on them.

Hi. I'm [Anonymous (name changed)]. You might remember me from such Canadian-to-American teenager's editiorials such as "My e-mail to Archie" and "My e-mail to Strong Bad". Okay, now that the Troy McClure Simpsons impression is out of the way, let me tell you how I feel.

First, I'm going to respond to quotes from your editorials.

SegaSonic: SegaSally The Squirrel?

Disagree: "Sega, ultimately created sally's name, and permitted her use in spinball. It is THEIR own fault she exists at all...So why do they insist on ignoring her?" As a matter of fact, that's WRONG! The people at DiC, after the events of Sonic 2sday, decided to announce their idea that they should create new characters and force Archie and SEGA to use them. They forced Archie into it alright, and they can't speak up for themselves, nor can they escape, with SEGA at one door, DiC in another, and the very selfish fans in the last. SEGA decided to be fair with Archie by calling Amy "Sally" in the Sonic CD manual ONCE, and including a pink chipmunk that looked nothing at all like Sally in the bonus stage of Sonic Spinball. >:o

"Mario has a girl, Crash Bandicoot has a girl...why not the hedgehog who has competed?" He does. Let's not forget Amy, who happens to be a hedgehog. That reminds me. In the comics, it just doesn't make sense that just because Amy was three years younger, a hedgehog started making out with a chipmunk, and, according to "Mobius: 25 Years Later", even having kids!

"A lot of fans disagreed about this, and insisted on Amy Rose, conceived AFTER Sally was first mentioned!" Now wait just a minute! Amy was created long before Sally. Amy was here first, and even if she wasn't you say a hedgehog should date a squirrel for only that one reason? Sally's had her time, and for a character created after Amy, I say it's about time Amy gets a starring role with Sonic in a cartoon. All I ask for the comics when it comes to Sonic X. Let Amy have Sonic. Sally's had her time, Mina's too new as many fans said. Besides, what did SEGA have in mind for their next project when they created Sonic 1? You could say Sonic Adventure, other people could actually think and say Sonic 2, others could think deeper and consider Sonic 1 on Game Gear, or better yet, Sonic CD on the SEGA CD. But they weren't the people who created Sonic Archie, and they were more leniant at the time to the Sonic Adventure ideas than SatAM ideas. So far, SEGA is making Amy a subliminal message in the games, the love story is a complete joke in most of the cartoons, and, if Archie assumes that the people telling Archie they don't need Sonic X means make Archie the absolute altogether completely complete opposite of it, then Amy will never have a chance with Sonic. So why does the majority act like it isn't the majority?

Sonic Editorials: Why Sonic Is Failing

Disagree: "Even now with the Dreamcast out, it's not Sonic that's popular. It's SEGA themselves or the graphics on the Dreamcast. Dreamcast this, Sega that..." You know, people say there's more to Sonic than SEGA, but never there's more to SEGA than Sonic. Some even say Sonic is the only thing good about SEGA. WHAT?!? THAT'S MESSED UP RIGHT THERE! If that was true, then why doesn't anyone say that the only thing good about Nintendo is Mario? First of all, strange how this was the same person who made a website where he OFICIALLY STATED THAT HE WAS 22 YEARS OLD and now he's immaturely supporting a kids' cartoon using swear words! And for that matter, an uneducational cartoon. Besides, is SEGA real? Yes. Is Sonic real? No. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a Sonic fan even though my personal lifestyle (Extremely careful,.jittery, nervous, and some even doggone well say gullible) contradicts it. Other games, however, support it. Ecco the Dolphin, for example was darn well a Sega Genesis classic series that only made it now to the Genesis, Game Gear, Dreamcast, and PS2. See, not only is Sonic a great classic, but other games that are actually EDUCATIONAL and were made by SEGA are being ignored even worse, and by the way, was there a SatAM equivalent of Ecco? Or an Ecco 2sday? Tell me if there was, I'd really like to know. After all, contradictory to a popular spoof internet comic, a Dreamcast has no feelings, but a SEGA worker does. People always say it's Sonic that matters, not SEGA, well this is only proof that being a fan just means being selfish. Why? Look at yourselves, DiC fans! You only care about whether or not Sonic's popular and not about if the people who CAME UP WITH THE WHOLE GOD DARN SONIC IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE! Not only that, but they always had superior hardware necessary to create its games, like the Game Gear and Dreamcast, plus, an educational but almost forgotten classic video game series. Speaking of which,

"I understand that they created Sonic and don't like the way he turned out in Archie, well TOUGH! They shouldn't have given their mascot away in that case..." DID SONIC HQ ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO POST THIS ONE? YOUR AMERICAN IDEA OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS OUT OF HAND! I'M THEREFORE RESPONDING BY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR WASTEFUL LAWS THAT LET ME FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! >:o

"[The 1998 Sonic the Hedgehog] says things like, "I'd better get going." That isn't attitude. Sure he's Sonic, he's blue and fast, but he's not Sonic." First of all, that's improper grammar. Second of all does it HAVE to be attitude? The reason I liked Sonic stuff has nothing to do with attitude and very little to do speed. Sure, if I liked speed, I'd probably play F-Zero. Actually I have played the ROM of the N64 version and liked it, but that's beside the point. Sure my personality doesn't consider speed necessary, so I don't really mind a slow Sonic, but that doesn't mean I see no benefit whatsoever in speed. I liked Sonic first because it was a platformer with better background music and more merchandise (Aka comic books) than Mario or Keen would ever have. That's not to say I like it more, though, because Mario was here ten years before Sonic or Keen, and Keen had gem/key finding elements and shooting while platform-jumping that were remade for Sonic Adventure, and pole-climbing and ledge-grabbing elements that were remade from Mario 64. Ahh, good old Mario 64, nothing when it comes to official N64 games can beat that, except maybe Star Fox 64, but not Super Smash Brothers. Anyway, I'm trailing off to Sega vs. Nintendo as opposed to Sega vs. DiC. Oh, and look at this, notice how he's a 22-year-old who used swear words to defend a kids' non-educational plagiarism-promoting cartoon! Another thing. You said "well TOUGH!" Okay how would you feel if I put it this way, "I know SEGA isn't as good as the not-even-existent-in-ireality Sonic the Hedgehog, and the person who invented the idea in the first place doesn't always perfectly represent the way he makes a living, well TOUGH!" Or think about it. Though I have to plagiarze my past self but... Think about it. An Archie fan e-mail comes in accusing people who bring up the actual FACT that SEGA came up with the whole Sonic the Hedgehog idea in the first place of being people who only know about the NEW SONIC GAMES and haven't tried watching the SatAM cartoon, then also accusing them of being people who are not willing to appreciate the comic for "What it is" and trying to convince Archie that these are "newcomers" and they only are looking for people to support SEGA as an excuse for Archie to add the mainstream characters.

At the same time, angry protesters are walking down the street protesting roms. They look in a person's window. They see someone playing a video game, somehow knowing it's not a rom, and ignore it for then. Then they look in another window. They see him playing a ROM game. One person opens their window and jumps in, then smacks him in the face with a picket sign. He realizes he should leave to not give the rest a bad reputation, at the calm and gentle request of the rest of the group. Then the rest see another person reading Archie comics from the book. They ignore him. Then they look in the fourth window, seeing someone reading Archie comics from the Internet. They throw a rock at his cable, cutting off his Internet access.

Then they see a protest supporting DiC and working against SEGA. Keep in mind that Archie was fully licensed by SEGA to use their characters. DiC wasn't. Nobody cared then. Also keep in mind that because they only HAD to listen to ABC and never to SEGA, and also that SatAM was more popular than the games at the time, they ignored SEGA completely, acting as if their popularity allowed DiC to do its plagiarism, plus downgrading of other companies, and last, but not least, keep in mind that DiC also got SEGA out of business because they unnecessarily stole someone else's idea and made it into a cartoon with a much better reputation, and made people forget about the classics.

So, anyway, the ROM protesters ignore them. Then they see someone who hates SEGA and supports ROMS, then look back and see some of the SatAM supporters who are also anti-SEGA activists for no reason are also supporting KaZaA and/or WinMX at the same time. They go back to the anti-SEGA/pro-DiC protesters and start a fight. Most of the people eventually break away and keep with the protest. The anti-SEGA/pro-DiC protesters lose and the anti-ROM activists look at the next window. They see the person who made FUS ( http://www.satamsonic.com) posting the words "I understand that they created Sonic and don't like the way he turned out in Archie, well TOUGH!" on the web. They think he's downloading off KaZaA. They go in and rip him to pieces, like he deserved. The cops ignored it. Well TOUGH!

"Cool people don't cry according to Sega." YEAH, AND THE IDIOTS I'VE BEEN RUNNING INTO SINCE I WAS IN KINDERGARTEN! ONCE WHEN I CRIED AFTER PEOPLE FRAMED ME FOR STEALING THE TEACHER'S PURSE THEY CALLED ME A CRYBABY AND A WIMP AND A F**KED UP S**THEAD AND EVEN BEGAN THROWING BOULDERS AT ME. Then again, I struck back by picking up the chair one of them was idiotically standing on and threw it at the computer while I was crying. :'( THEN, I WAS THE ONE WHO GOT IN F**KING TROUBLE BECAUSE IF I SNITCHED, THOSE PEOPLE WOULD KILL ME! THEN YOU SAY COOL PEOPLE DON'T CRY ACCORDING TO SEGA YET YOU DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS WHO SAY ANYONE WHO CRIES IS F**KED UP!

Sonic Editorials: Why Sonic Is Failing 2

Disagree: "Also, don't expect Dreamcast to be the last SEGA console. We don't know what they're working on, but rest assured they've got something up their sleeve that'll blow away even the Nintendo Dolphin." I have no idea what you're talking about. SEGA Dreamcast was clearly their last console, as the FAILURE of the Dreamcast (Well nobody here has one, not even anybody in all of my Province has one.) first blew SEGA from the hardware market for eternity, then in March 2002, it surrendered to Sony, Nintendo, and Microsoft to make games for them under threat of business loss, which happened recently, by the way, but they had to swear to never again make another video game console, or games for its previous consoles. Then on January 27, 2004, which was never considered a second Sonic 2sday, SEGA released Sonic Heroes on XBox and PS2 for the first time ever, and both versions were absolute failures, as I've heard 0 copies were sold. I believe it, too, because I never bought Sonic Heroes, did you? That's another reason Sonic is failing, we're so busy debating the cartoons vs. games vs. comics vs. merchandise vs. status of Sonic that we never even thought of keeping it alive by being a customer of its games. Besides, what is the Nintendo Dolphin? I heard of Gamecube, is that the same thing with a new name or a new 256-bit Nintendo console? Could you plese give me a partial idea, in case your editorial's out of date?

"Sega isn't helping" It is! SEGA for the past few months has been 99% Sonic (I only have Gamecube so correct me if I'm wrong) with the extra 1% being the deliberate Gamecube departure game we all know and hate as Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg.

"The fans, however, are not limited by such business politics." Sorry to tell you, but according to my Dad, you are. I don't know if it counts for fan fiction, but the truth is, SatAM was cancelled because it was unlicensed to go so far as abuse its own popularity. Besides, business politics is more than just a limit, it's life. SEGA workers are real people, and they created Sonic in the first place, and I actually agree that nobody, not even DiC has a right to take a popular character and mess it up, giving the real people, called SEGA workers a horrible reputation. It is true that they made it past SEGA, but SEGA had no other choice but to go after Sonic merchandise. SatAM's popularity which was the only thing preventing Sonic from being as popular as pet rocks were in the 70s or Pokemon was a year ago, and Sonic was SEGA's last hope. The way you said it surely made some people sympathetic, but gaming was how SEGA workers make a living, and Sonic was the last hope for SEGA, and a few selfish fans (I don't necessarily mean Tom Hancock) ruined it.

Unsure: "Yes, Sonic is going downhill in many ways." It sure is, but so is SEGA. They go down in the exact same ways though, and through the exact same process, from the embarassing Sonic on NGC and GBA exclusivity contract to the failure of Sonic Heroes and SEGA is out of business rumors. And speaking of which, onto another one of your comments...

"Even if SEGA itself were to fall, Sonic would live on." Is this up to date? It DID fall. And Sonic DIDN'T live on. Get a grip of reality. Not a single person bothered to try Sonic Heroes, and because SEGA has a copyright on Sonic, nobody has the right to take Sonic without its permission.

"When an author's creative freedom is limited, the story is impacted very negatively." Well, that is true, but once SEGA was limited just because of the insane popularity of SatAM and had to call Amy "Sally" in the Sonic CD manual and put Sally in the bonus stage. It's too bad.

Sonic Editorials: Why Sonic Is Failing 3

Disagree: "Sonic SatAM. (every other Sonic cartoon blows goats)" That's an opinion, uhh... DCX Liquid Rain, not a fact. Now AoStH I can understand, because, as I said when I e-mailed Archie, it was "too silly, too weird, and a couple episodes even offended me. Besides I'm a teenager who agrees with his buddy in that 'Sonic cartoons are for babies'" well, I don't agree entirely, but let's face it, the ones that weren't for babies were either rare or hard to understand. Others, like the ones I can also understand why he never included Sonic OVA, because that only lasted two episodes, and in the US (And Canada, of course!) it was converted to a movie that never even lasted an hour, not only never lasted an hour as a movie, but it's marketing never lasted an hour either! 🙁 And I agree Sonic Underground wasn't good enough, I only saw one episode and it doesn't make sense. I mean, come on, Sonic, a sad prince, with the help of his twin sister and brother, finds his mom! =-O

Then to Sonic X, where, I understand, you made this before even rumors of Sonic X spread! Still, I strongly prefer Sonic X to all Sonic cartoons except maybe Sonic OVA, but let's face it. Sonic can't seem to work as a cartoon. Everything from the Simpsons to South Park, or on the opposite side of the spectrum, the infamous cartoon which reminded me of Calvin and Hobbes based on the tiger striped weirdo fad (fad, not fag!) known and hated as Billy the Cat. (The infamous which people say they never heard about when I call it that always starts with Billy) But I think that none of them blow goats, because how could a cartoon which doesn't have a mouth do that? I say they all were horrible, not sucked, (I'm not very used to figures of speech, so correct me if I'm wrong) and that unfortunately includes SatAM, but if Archie is included, then call Archie an exception.

"The time between SatAM and Sonic Adventure (the last 2 GOOD things to come of Sonic) was so great people forget what Sonic was alll about." Let's not forget Sonic Advance.

What does SEGA Really Feel about Archie

Agree: "Well, first of all, SEGA is NOT screwing with Archie. They only want everyone to see thier mascot for what he is." Darn right that's darn right! One stupid Archie fan e-mail (Yes this is one of the selfish fans) accused people who understood that SEGA workers are real people and they came up with the Sonic idea in the first place of being idiots who only have played the new Sonic games and never watched the old Sonic cartoons (What? She never mentioned the old games, which, as the annual Sonic 2sday idea proves to be the most popular?) and who only used their care for SEGA workers as an excuse to get more mainstream characters in the comic, and weren't willing to accept the Sonic comics and cartoons for what they are. Well first of all, that proves that she doesn't accept SEGA workers, who are real people, for WHO they are. Now we can't forget that SEGA has the copyright on Sonic, and nobody has the right to manipulate that, let alone take it.

"What if there was this girl named Sophia [Replacing Sally] in Super Mario Bros. who was NEVER in ANY games, always nagged Mario [Replacing Sonic, of course], those two showing emotions to each other without knowing, Toad [Replacing Tails, though I think Yoshi would fit this time around] just cute, hardly ever gets to be with Mario, and Princess Toadstool [Replacing Amy] just there once in awhile. And everyone wants Sophia and Mario to get married. Heh.. no one would agree with me on that... many want Princess Toadstool with Mario, no argument." Very, very, very true. In case you're wondering, the square brackets [Like this] mean that I added something that they never directly said, but what they meant, as would be inferred if you took the whole article just to get that quote.

"I'd wanna make sure they have my character right. So I may have to cut back a few things. Imagine how SEGA feels..." I could easily imagine that BEFORE I read Chuckie's editorial.

Now, I think there were a few things they forgot to mention, such as how Tails doesn't need to be smart OR older to join in, because in Sonic 2, they thought for a minute. Hedgehogs aren't civilized. Foxes aren't civilized. Chipmunks aren't civilized. Plus, I think I mentioned this before, but Archie just doesn't make sense. A hedgehog goes out with a chipmunk and/or a mongoose, because the only female hedgehog that likes him is two years younger?

An opinion about this Sonic+Sally thing

Agree: "Some of you have decided in your hearts that Sega is the enemy. Why, might us SegaSonic fans ask?" That's a very good point. After all, who created Sonic? No not Sonic Team, SEGA!

"But, the (Archie) fans, who thought Sally should be Sonic's gal, demanded that she stayed. The even put up about a dozen "Save our Sally" websites. Now, the Archie fans were peeved off about Sally's assumed death, and then in the end, she revived, and they killed Dr. Eggman instead. Now, the Archie fans are more then happy, but they don't care about the Doc's death. Now, let's think about this. Sega wanted to kill Archie's character, but the Archie fans complained and got their way. But Archie wanted to kill Sega's character, and they did." You see, it not only doesn't make sense about a hedgehog and a chipmunk in love, but it also doesn't make sense about a SEGA mascot and a non-SEGA character in love. Well, though, with the villain, it isn't as big a deal, because you're talking about not only a different character, but a different TYPE of character. Still, a point you forgot to make was that Robotnik was here long before Sally, and AoStH changed the suit to what was considered... umm... the original one? The truth is, the Sonic games were here long before the cartoons and comics, and the inclusion of Sonic 2sday as an official holiday is there to remind us of that, and people always call the games the "new things." Not exactly right.

"Now, let's say you had this little masterpiece of a character, and he just so happened to make you famous. Then, some geek named Ben Hurst comes and sabotages his story, gives him a dumb girlfriend, and cuts out his "real" friends. How would you feel? That's just what happened to Yuji Naka, with Sonic. You'd hate to think about it, but it's Archie and DiC who are the saboteurs. Now, Spaz, probably one of the only good artist at Archie, just so happened to draw a poster for a SatAM fan, and it depicted Sonic and Sally getting married. Now, I was already mad when I saw this pic, but seeing such a crummy looking pic from Spaz, that stank. Also, I didn't like what he did to Amy's image in that pic. He made her be crying out of pure jelousness. Now, also, about Amy. Despite popular claim, she's not too young for Sonic. She is 14, and Sonic's 16. Now if Bunnie's 14, and is not too young for the 18 year old Antoine, I don't see how Amy could be too young for Sonic." The reason I printed this out in a huge chunk is I agree with every bit of this. Actually, I don't know if Archie is a saboteur, since they were licensed and all, but DiC wasn't. DiC plagiarized the Sonic idea and changed it altogether, so I guess they deserved to be plagiarized by Archie. Besides, Archie plagiarizes everything, even in the comics, anyways. It plagiarized Star Wars in many ways, covers like posters, universe races like podraces, Ceneca-9009 like the Galactic Senate, and so on. While I can be glad that they're Star Wars fans, which is odd considering that both of us are fans of both Sonic and Star Wars for entirely different reasons, I don't understand how that motivated them to plagiarize it. Also, notice Issue #125, a hero gives his life for the greater good, sound familiar? And about Amy, she was already treated harsh enough. If you want more female roles, give Amy one. And about the age difference, well, the way it works in Canada is that going out with someone two or three years younger isn't as big a deal as going out with a different species of animal!!! In case you're wondering what I meant by female roles, here's an editorial I partly agree with:

THE ROLE OF THE FEMALE

Unsure: "Since there are few game females, almost all stories concentrate on the guys. But if that's true, why don't they give Amy Rose the spotlight once in a while? I would like to see her develop in the comic books as an important character." I guess so. I've always noticed that people support Sally because she's a female character, but if that's true, Amy should be supported too. I mean, come on, I am a guy, believe it or not, but as I said before, what do people have against Amy? I mean, in a rebutall to "Sonic vs. Sally- No way" someone said "But I'm too attached to Sally". And I thought it was bad when a mere fictional "different animal" made out with a chipmunk!

THE REAL BAD GUYS

Not only one of the fiercest editorials (With my editorial and Why Sonic is failing 1 only to top it) but this one was clearly a bias and a disgrace about the lack of attention to business politics.

Disagree: "SEGA thinks they are doing the right thing by bossing Archie around with their stupid "theycan only do this" and emotion restrictions." Do you think YOU'RE doing the right thing bossing SEGA around with you're stupid "The blame for the comic's demise" restrictions?

"SEGA is the only thing holding Sonic back. SEGA isn't about to listen to us, now are they?" WAIT A MINUTE!!!!! HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!? HAVE YOU EVER TRIED?!?!? Besides, fans like you are the not exactly only thing, but main thing, holding SEGA's hardware, plus actually EDUCATIONAL titles like Ecco the Dolphin back! Not to mention, as I mentioned before, SEGA workers are real people! Did Archie Comics listen to me? No! In fact I e-mailed them four times and there not only wasn't a single response in any way, but they did the opposite of exactly what I suggested! Why do you always blame SEGA? I e-mailed the FUS creator three times and, once again, not a single repsonse. Strange how whether people are talking about SEGA's Rivals, Sonic Merchandise, or something they said years ago, they're biased against SEGA! And that, Holli, is the whole point of the Fact-Clearing "'Put SEGA in Perspective'" article which, you apparently never got a hold of, which I can understand, since I'm not even spreading it around yet! But if you think this editorial was an article, then be prepared to call my article an editorial! Here's a picture that represents exactly how I feel about SEGA, which doubles as a cover for my article:

(Click here for the pic since it's too wide to put in the post)

I particularly enjoy the symbolism MARIO SMASHES THE GAME GEAR WITH HIS BRAND NEW CAPE, BUT MISSES SONIC BY DOZENS OF PIXELS!

SONIC + SALLY YES WAY

Disagree: "Sally has people who don't like her" Well, so does Amy. So does Tails. So does even Sonic. Besides, because if people cared that Amy was here first, as opposed to what you said, and by the way, us game fans aren't used to seeing Amy with Sonic, but are more used to seeing him by himself. When it comes to FUS and some Archie comics fan e-mails, I say the Internet is full of SatAM loyalists, pardon the pun. After all, the love story is a complete joke in Sonic X, and it's used subliminally in the games, and when people say that Archie comics doesn't need to be fair by treating Sonic X the same way it treated SatAM they assume it means be as little like Sonic X as possible, and therefore, since, at least in Canada, we don't have access to Fleetway, (Yes I heard that in Fleetway, Amy's treated the way that Sally was treated in Archie) and therefore, even us game fans have never had a chance to see Amy as Sonic's girlfriend, but I thought the love story wasn't important, oh wait, you're the person who stood up for more female roles in the comic, oh right. Are you a guy or a girl, I'm a guy, by the way, but I don't always act like it. And I agree that there aren't enough female roles, but I think you forgot to mention Cream and Rouge, who are actually used as action heroes, just like Amy, in Sonic Heroes. To be honest, I, once again, don't see why HEROES sold 0 units. Then again, I never bought a copy, did you? So in the games, females are given decent roles, and this time around, even in Team Dark. Then again, I don't think that girls will like to play as villains, because when my sister saw the police chases and gang-member-torching in Grand Theft Auto Vice City, she commented "Some game you got there!" Then again, about female roles, my sister actually chose playing as Tails over playing as Cream in Sonic Advance 2, she mentioned "but Tails is so CUTE!" I agree, by the way. You can call Pikachu adorable, who looks weird to me, or Yoshi adorable, who should actually act like a real dinosaur once in a while, and the Chao, who only look cute when being pet or maybe when they're struggling to get out of the hands of whoever's holding them, but Tails, particularily in his Sonic 2 polite yawning, just made him look like he'd make a good pet with his two cuddly tails.

Anyway, I'm just saying that, as a Sonic Issue #123 reviewer said "Sally's had her time and they still gave into Sally!" I just knew there was a way to say that! Some people argue back and say that "Oh yeah, well what if someone said that your Dad should get a new wife because 'your Mom's had her time'" first of all, Sonic and Sally never had kids until Mobius: 25 Years Later which never made sense anyway. Second of all, my Mom isn't a chipmunk and my Dad isn't a hedgehog. They're both humans, sure, but the difference between hedgehog and chipmunk or hedgehog and mongoose is just as big a difference as human and chipmunk or human and mongoose. Actually, according to the newest Phylum research rumors, maybe even more so, so a certain cartoon, in my book, isn't what people idiotically consider an exaggeration, but in my book, a major UNDERSTATEMENT! In it, Archie walks down the street hanging his head down because Betty and Veronica are dead, and the only human girl that also likes him is two years younger, which isn't too much of an age gap, and then comes the pun with "What am I going to do? I KNOW! HER!" Which he says while looking at a "squirrel" Actually, Sally's a chipmunk, not a squirrel. Then they also exaggerate how neither Archie nor SEGA state whether the characters' ages are in human years or "Animal Years." Then Archie MAKES OUT WITH A CHIPMUNK ANYWAY or as they said, squirrel. Then, to make fun of Mobius: 25 Years Later with hilarious timing, there is a new version of Jerry Springer called Jerry Junior in which Sally states that she broke up with Archie because HE STARTED MAKING OUT WITH A MONGOOSE! Of course, then comes the normal "WHOA" from the audience that always watches Jerry Springer, and that was actually pretty funny. I don't see where the major difference is between a human making out with either or a hedgehog making out with either. Another reason for Sonic to be with Amy. Another reason is, as opposed to what everyone says, Amy was here before Sally. Amy was announced even BEFORE the events of the first Sonic 2sday. So why do DiC and Archie insist on ignoring HER? The thing is, people don't go against Sally to support Amy, people go against Sally to support Mina, who's much worse, because not only was Mina introduced AFTER SONIC ADVENTURE WAS RELEASED IN JAPAN, but Mina's in a different Phylum altogether. So if you're going to go against the already unpopular Amy, then go against the already overpopular Mina the Mongoose. But I, for one, believe in same species marriage, pardon the pun, and I think that if Sonic should be with Amy, then Tails should be with Fiona, since no SEGA charactersc are right for him according to SEGA. Then, if it's two different types of animals in love rather than a SEGA mascot and non-SEGA character in love you're confused with, then maybe, rather than the rumored "Rouge has a crush on Knuckles" idea from Sonic Adventure 2, you could have an Archie character, Julie-Su, with Knuckles. That definitely makes more sense, and would prove that not only did DiC mindlessly create Sally, but would prove that the workers at Archie comics aren't really a bunh of SatAM loyalists, pardon the pun.

Unsure: "I was not saying Sega was the enemy." Well why didn't you say that when you actually had the chance? Once when I mentioned how wasteful and environmentally unfriendly it was to bury humans in coffins, I accidently, because I didn't know how else to say it, said "Why can't they use people as compost?" and everyone began yelling and cussing and spreading rumors about me, but for some reason, calmed down when I began crying, they calmed down, and when I said "I didn't mean it that way!" nobody listened to me, because they said "In Canada if you say something you live with it your whole life!" so why should I listen to you? Because you're AMERICAN? Oh yeah, from the United States, you mean, as in the same country that dropped two A-BOMBS on JAPAN, SEGA's HOMELAND, killing millions of innocent people, and the only part that anybody cares about "Including women" and people always never care about MEN'S SAFETY, so why should I agree when you call us sexist because you say that there aren't enough female roles in the game? Besides, men's safety is real, Sonic comics aren't.

Agree: "I still say that Archie is trying to please all fans, not just SatAM fans." I say that too, because Archie isn't a SatAM comic book adaptation, like some selfish fans say, but really, I noticed that Archie also takes stuff from the games, and additionally, creates some new stuff to set it up in a way that it all fits perfectly, as opposed to being a group of SatAM loyalists, and once again, pardon the pun, please, people. But the neat thing is, I've always considered which is worse, SatAM or Archie? Well, Archie is more loyal to the games, too, so I'll say Archie. Still, I noticed SegaSonic and SatAM have many things in common that Archie doesn't, and some are good, some are bad, but let's not forget the main good thing, "YEAH! THEY HAVE MORE THAN 15 CHARACTERS AND LESS THAN 100 CHARACTERS" *Slaps self in face* no, oh wait, pretty much, yes that is part of it, that combining many separate Sonic universes, adding too many characters, and taking genres from what wasn't in SEGA or SatAM and adding them to the mix, and no other Sonic universe is that much of a mix, oh wait, that's bad. And the main bad thing SEGA and SatAM have in common is they both traded in more "mature as in grown-up and experienced" for "mature as in sex and violence" and when people complained, they removed them, making SEGA look like a perfect balance, but having SatAM be weird and immature, yet harmful for children to watch, and not even educational like the less popular Ecco the Dolphin.

VIOLENCE: YOUR PROBLEM

Unsure: Whole editorial. Boy am I getting lazy 😉 ! Seriously, I stronly agree that there's comics much more violent out there, but think of what kids would do if they read it in a comic book. About "unless you think your chind is really that out of control", well, I was when I was a kid, but I wasn't influenced by comic books OR video games OR movies. I was influenced by the way they advertised them. I hate to plagiarize myself again but And, you know, I don't see why it's okay for kids to be seeing fighting between companies in rival-assaulting ads, which represents hate, greed, fear, and disgust from real life, yet not okay for kids to be playing violent video games, which are obviously made to be violent, and separated enough from reality for kids to tell the difference. You know, how I feel about SEGA can be noticed at http://www.sonicunited.com/articles.php?articles=dyingbreed. I agree with most of their comments.

Speaking of rivalry, the most important thing I want to mention, is that rather than only using this as an opportunity to take sides, I also want to mention the worst part is the rivalry. Seriously, it's getting out of hand, and starting to turn into war, but given the condition Toyko's in, I'm not surprised. I don't see why SEGA and Nintendo couldn't co-operate from the start. True shame.

Plus, if you want my opinions on more rivalry and haven't seen my "Put SEGA in 'Perspective'" editorial/article, then maybe, I could also ask Sonic HQ to post that too. If you think I was harsh on SEGA's license partners, then think of the fact that though SEGA's rivals are insulted much more often by the fans, that's because its direct rivals are more severe to SEGA in the first place. Oh, and a few more comments I forgot to add that weren't in any Sonic HQ editorials,

"Unfortunately, because SEGA is a buch of biased assholes, no more DVDs" Wait a minute... as you said, SEGA didn't cancel SatAM DVDs, Disney did. Even if SEGA did, it has a right. It has a copyright on Sonic that DiC not only stole, but manipulated.

"The best we got was that because of some 'third party rights' (orginally assumed to be SEGA) DiC was not allowed to release anymore SatAM DVDs." Wait a minute, when was this updated, SEGA is also third party, and they have no longer any control.

"I would like to point out before anything that our goal is NOT to discriminate against Sega Sonic loves, SU fans or anyone who dissagress with us" I understand you're not discriminating, but you don't have the right either way to push anyone who disagrees with you out of the way. By the way, what about Archie comics? Didn't you clear it up on that?

"So, what is FUS's real goal? It is to love SatAM... it is to remain loyal to SatAM and never lose faith." Umm... if this was one of those weird browsers where the T was replaced with two D's, then I don't think the US government would be exactly acceptable to your site.

(RODDFLMAO!)

"It's the other way around, Archie was based of the SatAM series. DiC created all the characters that are in SatAM including Sally, Bunnie and Dulcy. ALSO it was ARCHIE that screwed up Antoine and made him brave rather than making him a coward like in the SatAM series. The reason the comic came out first is because it takes a lot less time to develope a comic verses a whole cartoon series." WHAT? I should make a Rumor vs. Fact of my own. It was neither. It was the official unlicensed merchandisers who sent the new characters to DiC and Archie on Sonic 2sday... And besides, ARCHIE screwed up Antoine is more along the lines of opinion... And so what if it takes longer? How would Archie know about DiC's characters six months before SatAM aired?

"Sega had no control whatsoever over SatAM." As a matter of fact, they did. Sonic was copyrighted by SEGA, and SatAM never had permission to what SEGA was against. Besides, DiC doesn't have the right to take SEGA's mascot and ruin it. Remember Tim Berntsen's comments? Anyway, I know this was a long editorial but I have to mention that Holly Lyons made so many important comments that it made up for her incorrect statements. Besides, Sonique was much more agressive, plus made a website biased on the side everyone is already on. Plus, I e-mailed his three times clearing up the rumors in the "Fact" half of his Rumor vs. Fact, and he not only made FUS, but STGS which never explained why sally or maybe Mina and why not Amy. Oh, that's right. Amy is a few years younger, but Sally is a friggin chipmunk! Or squirrel, whatever.

The point is, Sonique is the only thing holding Sonic HQ and SEGA back. Sonique isn't about to listen to us either, is he? No, and someone give me the e-mail adress of Yuji Naka or anyone who works for SEGA and I'll prove the truth about the opposite site, or heck, maybe I'll even settle for an e-mail to Sheriguera Miyamoto, and thank him for making such N64 classics that they brought me not only away from Sega vs. DiC, but away from SEGA altogether. Hail SEGA and death to anyone who ISN'T on their side. Yeah that's right Mr.Nintendo! No not Mario, Janus Skyfire!

Okay, that's the editorial, and this is Vec again. Remember folks, always keep up with newest phylum research rumors!

Edited by: Sonic HQ at: 3/2/04 6:13 pm