Welcome to my mad scientist lair. This is ware I perform many of my evil experiments, for not so good purposes. It's ware I do all my sinister plotting. Today our special guest is Sailor Orange.

When do I get my 50 bucks?

Later!

You're not going to do anything funny right?

I don't do standup.

No that's not what I meant...

Experimentation, that's what you're getting paid for!

When you say experimentation...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I thought I was being paid to hang here for ambiance.

Experimentation, ambiance, same difference.

No... no... very very opposite difference...

You should have thought of that, before you let yourself get strapped to a wall.

Sailor Evil, are you here?

Yes?

You have been selected to be a mofoteer! From the tens of applicants! So come with me and we can get you to your ring.

Yes! Finally! A ring to give me the powers Ive always wanted! The powers of darkness and devilry! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Coming! Wait up! I just need to change! Ill be right out in like 5 minutes!

hello? hello? Id like to get down now... oh this so isn't worth 50 bucks... more like 100... or... or... no, Ill be happy if I get the 50...

*And so Sailor Evil, now dressed appropriately, and the dolphin in a suit headed off.*

Okay, here is your ring. May it bring you years of use.

Yes! THE POWER! I can feel it coursing threw me! Enhancing all my own talents, with this ring I could rule! I could rule it all! the slugs! the fishes! the fish slugs! (somtimes known as slishies.) MWAHAHAHA!

Right lets go meet the rest of

Starring!

Sprites by Vortex

Script by Vector

Special thanks to MistKatsune for making the original sprites of the bowl of oranges, and finding Vortex the IrfanView program.

Also a special thanks to Jinsoku, ChibbiBecca, and Troophead for allowing their characters to be used in this work of fiction.

Apologies to ChibbiBecca, the only one of the aforementioned who didn't at least get to look over the script before its posting.

Also apologies to Samanfur who was unable to appear in this scromic because of communication problems.

And even more apologies to those that did not read the original mofoteers post and have no idea what this is about.

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Welcome everyone, because we are all new here, you should all be trying on your rings and should instinctively know what they do. So let us go threw the lineup, shall we? Chibi?

Hello everyone, Im Chibi Becca. My element is chibi, the ability to become more and more chibi.

A little like the ability to shrink, no?

Yes, everything but my head gets smaller! My head will expand slightly.

So shrinking and growing, a skill of use.

Nope!

What do you mean?

Just chibi!

I see. Interesting.

Becca? Could you be a doll, and stop with the skipping?

Nope!

Yeah, its kind of annoying and a little bit

Nope! Skipping is fun!

Moving right along How about Evil?

Im Sailor Evil, my element is evil, as is my name, since its what I am. Walking along moonlight beaches the night before my incredible evil plan comes to fruition is one of my favorite things. I enjoy looking up at that moon, to see what my next goal is first the earth, THEN THE MOON!

Of course so what can you do?

Anything evil.

Such as?

Summoning giant monsters, creating death rays, canceling favorite TV shows? That kind of things. I also know what evils lurk in the hearts of men.

So you have powers similar to the shadow?

No, I have been collecting men's hearts, and dissecting them to see what's inside.

That is rather creepy.

I'm joking of course.... heh.... heheh.... heh... joking.

Im sure, okay so how about... uh... Jinsoku?

Hello all, Im Jinsoku, and my element is life. You may remember me from such posts as posts by Jinsoku, and posts by people attempting to be as funny as posts by Jinsoku. My element is life, the power to grant life, and to taketh life away.

Isnt that a power only god should have?

Just call me Jin for now.

Well you do know you can only bring back to life people of good alignment and only kill people of bad alignment?

Awww, what is this!? Some stupid dungeons and dragons session!? I want ultimate power! And I want to abuse that power!

Ahem, also it should be noted my ring can project a field of evil, causing all inside to beevil! You could kill them then.

Yes! WE COULD KILL ANYONE WE WANT! AWESOME!

For the good of all humanity, and to keep the rating of this scromic under PG, your rings power has been changed to just life. You can give life. That is it, heal and bring back.

Im the freakin white mage?! Thats not fair or right! How could you do that? At least I don't need spell components.

I am in the place of gia and have certain liberties with the powers of your rings, do not worry it is not effective after this meeting. This is just to iron out the bugs and make sure you can not kill everyone who looks at you funny. Right so who do we have left? Mildew appears to be the next one.

First i'd like to say, you know an awful lot about D&D Jinsoku.

What exactly are you implying?

Nothing... noooothing. Yes, Im mildew, and Troophead. My power is that of mildew, the thing you find in the shower. That grows and can kill you if you lick it. Or just be slimy. Its the stuff in your garage that makes you sick if you stay in there to long. The element mildew, a power with unimaginable potential. A thousand dangers, a thousand ways to strike. Poison, trickery, shadows and dark mildew things and they get disgusting

Youre a mildew ninja?

Im THE Mildew Ninja!

Ah yes, the powers of stealth and disgusting scum. I can see the uses already. So many uses, for all situations. And finally orange.

Yup, thats me.

Who ARE you?

Im vortex!

You look the guy from the original planeteers.

He was annoying.

How fitting

See this is how Im going to look for this thing, I thought my new appearance should fit the new format! So being a mofoteer I look like a planeteer! You all should do it to.

Nope!

Fine, then Im the only stylish and accurately dressed person here.

I am the height of fashion.

What about accuracy?

I miss every once in awhile, but generally Im pretty good.

People! People! Word play is all fine and good, but there is more important things to discuss! What do you DO vortex?

I have element orange!

Is that not anything like Agent Orange?

I dont do a lot of plant killing

Do you turn things orange?

No

Are you like the green lantern and you can control anything orange but you have no control over things not orange?

No

Does it do anything?

Stuff it does stuff

Can you stop pointing at yourself?

Okay...

Wonderful, so the new elements are CHIBI! LIFE! EVIL! MILDEW! And ORANGE!

When your powers combine I am capt-

Hold it! Hold it!

Do you really want to do this? Because whatever we make with these powers of ours is going to be some kind of neon colored, evil, exceptionally cute, and mildew covered god.

Perhaps you are right. That is a bit risky. Maybe maybe we should NEVER ever, under any circumstances combine the powers. So moving along, here we all are, the mofoteers. And I am the leader, the Gia type person, who leads, and offers sage advice to this crime fighting team, and gives you your missions and goals. Fighting evil and crime with power strength and the wisdom of the hawk!

Um it should be noted that because of certain moral incompatibilities, this may involve fighting ourselves.

Then we will fight ourselves to the best of our abilities!

Some of us prefer the wisdom of the zebra to the wisdom of the hawk.

I think its actually owls that are wisdom full.

Thats a myth, owls lack! They lack the wisdom!

Birds are cute! Let's have birdie wisdom! I'm cute!

Youre a bit hyper, but youre not that cute

Yes I am! Watch

TADA!

You have to admit that is cute in a terribly frightening way.

No I dont.

Can you tone down the cuteness? Its hard to look directly at you.

Hows this?

No longer blinding. Ill give it that.

PEOPLE! HEDGEHOGS! DEFORMED THINGS! FOCUS! You were all gathered here for a reason! To form the crack crime fighting team that is the mofoteers! To right the wrongs that exist throughout the mofo! There are things that need to be done! People that need the help of us and our abilities!

Yes! We must use our abilities to do just that!

Yes, and what abilities might those be vortex?

stuff

once again we need focus. Okay there is a growing crisis that must be dealt with. The mofoian banks, they are in dire trouble.

We must help those poor diered souls.

Yes! We must! See the mofo has been having a large influx of new residents for quite some time. New people come in bringing goods and services and business has boomed! The tourist industry itself is simply extraordinary. All in all it has caused quite a problem down at the bank, the shear influx of wealth has outstripped there ability to hold it. In short, the banks have far to much money! They can not store it all! They unfortunately have not yet noticed the problem. And most likely will not until money is flowing in the streets causing pandemonium riots and horror horror, horror.

So we're going to take, the money?

Yes! I am glad you're following along, now since they do not know they have a problem yet. They will not realize that we are trying to help them, and so we will probably have to forcibly take the money.

We're stealing it?

No, no, no sorta.

Do we get to split this money that we so delicately... liberate?

Yes of course! our reward for our diligence and tenacity to help our society.

I think this job would be much easier if you allow me to kill all the guards.

No, we stand for justice! We are not bringers of death.

Can't we be both?

Hmmm... no. Come on Ill show you the billboard for the bank outside.