You can find the back story of Defcon PiE at:
pub12.ezboard.com/fsonich...9502.topic

Evil Jinsoku steps inside Evil WB's throne room, his wrists chained together as if he were a prisoner.

EWB - Jesus! Could you have taken any longer?

Jesus peeks behind Evil Jin

Jesus - Dammit! My name is HEY-SOOS!!! I'm SPANISH you stupid ninny! *Turns around and heads out the door, flailing his arms, complaining left and right*

EJ - I think he's got problems.

EWB - Don't know why I hired him.

EJ - So what's up Ew-bee.

EWB - Please don't call me that. If you're gonna use my initials at least pronounce the damn letters.

EJ - No prob, Ew-bee.

EWB - Twit.

EJ - Anyway, why'd you call me up here. *looks around* OH! And thanks for the nifty bracelets! Though, hey man, I can't move my arms up because of that chain in between. Mind fixing that for me?

EWB - *stares blankly at him for a bit...* It's a wrist chain. Or really really big HANDCUFFS, if you will.

EJ - Handcuffs. Isn't that for evil people who do evil deeds?

EWB - N'ah, these are idiot handcuffs.

EJ - *Glee* Awwe, you shouldn't have.

EWB - *twitch*

Dubba Puppet A - THE BOSS IS ANNOYED!

Dubba Puppet A - ANNOYED IS THE BOSS!

Dubba Puppet A and B - LOOKS LIKE HIS LOSS!

EWB - *thwacks them both with a trout* SILENCE!!!

EJ - *Backs off slightly* Woah, dude! Is it that time of the month for you?

EWB - *sighs, scratching his head, looking downward* Yeah, it's really starting to bug m-- NO!!! IT'S NOT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH!

EJ - Well what time is it?

EWB - It's 12 AM, exactly midnight.

EJ - Is that what you had to tell me?

EWB - Well that was the answer to your question.

EJ - What question?

EWB - That one.

EJ - But I just asked it.

EWB - What's your point?

EJ - I have none.

EWB - Then why do you keep going off!

EJ - I don't have an off switch.

EWB - What do you mean!?

EJ - I'm always on.

EWB - *mutters* On crack, it seems... *AHEM* Anyway. Pie.

EJ - *Raises an eyebrow*

Evil Dub and Evil Jin both quirk an eyebrow at eachother, peering into eachother's eyes. The thoughts of these two brilliant evil-doers running at light speed.

**Scenary changes to clock work indicating the working mind of EJ and EWB... and it clicks once**

EJ - Do you... want pie?

EWB - YES! Please!

EJ - Uh... what the hell do I look like, you're cook?

EWB - No, you look like a red hedgehog. My cook looks like my cook.

EJ - You're not making any sense!!!

EWB - Sense? Well... sorry. I never heard of a recipe for "sense". I'll ask the cook.

Evil Vec - ENOUGH!!! *storms in from his lab next to EWB's desk*

Evil Dubs and Evil Jin both look over at wonder towards Evil Vec, wondering what his fuss is all about.

EWB - What's your fuss all about?

EV - Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Dubsy?

EWB - Please keep horrible refferences out of my face.

EV - *lowers head in shame* Sorry, boss... anyway... *turns to EJ* LOOK YOU IMBECILE---!

EJ - WHO THE HELL YOU CALLING A VESSEL!

EWB - He said "imbecile".

EJ - Oh... well @#$!, that's even worse! THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!!!

EV - EEK!!! *jumps on top of Evil Dubs head, clinging on to him with his nails*

EWB - T__T *pries Evil Vec off his head and slams him on the floor* Do that again and I'll feed you to War Troophead.

EV - ... big deal.

EWB - Who will maim you so badly, you'll look cute, and Evil Chainspike will squeeze you to your doom.

EV - *Gets straight up, saluting* SIR YES SIR!

EWB - Power is good. ^______^ --- Hey!!! Evil Jin! Where the hell you think you're going?!

EJ - *Was about to step out the door casually, then turns his head* Uh. Back outside. I was making good money on PiE.

EWB and EV - THAT'S IT!!!

EJ - Zuh?

EWB - I asked you for PiE, and you said you had none!

EJ - ... I'm OBVIOUSLY NOT PiE material!!!

EV - *blank stare* What's THAT supposed to mean?

EJ - Y'know, to tell you the truth, I don't really know. It's all I remember about PiE. ^^

EWB - You what.

EJ - Who you calling a what!?

EV - No no, he means repeat what you just said.

EJ - "What you just said." Happy? Can I go now?

EV - NO NO! About what you know about PiE!

EJ - Oh, well, not much. Except that I'm not PiE material AT ALL... whatever that means.

EWB - ... *rubs his eyes, squeaks his ears clean* Hold up. Run that by me ONE MORE time.

EJ - Okay. *Throws a block with the words "THAT" passed Evil Dub and smashes out the window*

EWB - Thanks. Now, you said you know NOTHING about PiE?

EJ - Not a thing. Except that I'm not PiE material. And neither are you. Or Mr Screech And Run over there.

EV - HEY!

EJ - *Growls*

EV - *little girl scream!* *jumps up, and hangs on the chandelier on the ceiling right above Evil Dub's desk*

EWB and EV - *grin*

EWB - So... if you have no clue what PiE means... ... ...

EJ - Yyyeeeeeeaaaaas'm?

EWB - Why are you wearing a shirt that SAYS PiE! Why are you handing out PiE shelter! What's coming if you don't know what PiE is!!!

EJ - I don't know. Something in the back of my head just tells me it's coming and it's BIG. Especially since everyone's always been wondering about it.

EWB - BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!!

EJ - WOAH!!! Me? I didn't start this. Jinsoku did!

EWB - Don't be a wiseass, smartass! YOU ARE Jinsoku!

EJ - Jinsoku OSHIN. I'm evil. I'm speaking of Jinsoku Hashagu.

EWB - Gazunheit

EWJ - Thanks. Anyway, he's the goody bastard.

EWB - But hell you must know what it is! You're always going on about it left and right!

EJ - Hell, I don't know it. Jin does, though.

EWB - JESUS!!!

Jesus - *peeks in* Que?

EWB - Not you, Jesus.

Jesus - Kay... *leaves*

EWB - That makes no sense! How can you know about "PiE" from Jin, yet not know it yet he knows it.

EJ - Woah woah. Is that math? Because if it is, I failed Algebra 2 for a reason, bud.

EWB - IF JIN KNOWS WHAT PiE IS, WHY DON'T YOU!!!

EJ - Simple. When he seperated his perverse, evil, and dimwit side -

EWB - He did? Hell, I can't tell.

EJ - ... When he seperated his EVIL side, moi, *bow*, I pretty much all the heavy EVIL stuff and perverse jokes, etcetera.

EWB - *Hitting a ball attached to a string to a paddle* So?

EJ - Well, PiE wasn't apparently dirty. SoOoO, all I really remember is that word. And that it was a special running gag of his for the whole Sega City.

EWB - Well apparently, it's big. Cuz idiots out there are buying your crap!

EJ - HEY! It's not crap! These doghouses come from Pet Supermarket. Hmph. *Folds hands* VERY reliable stuff.

EWB - But why do they buy!??!

EJ - Because! PiE IS COMING... say what day is it?

EWB - Well, it's 12:06 AM now. So... it's October 1st.

EJ - ... tell me we're partying like it's 1999.

EWB - ... ... It's 2002, you stupid--!

EJ - IT'S TODAY!!!

EWB - Wha-

EJ - PiE COMES TODAY!

EWB - HOLY CREAM FILLINGS, EVIL VEC!!! Get War Troophead out here immediately!!!

War Troophead - You called?

EWB - No. Was sending a messanger. But since you're here: FIND JINSOKU AND BRING HIM TO ME!

War Troophead - *Raises an eyebrow, and glances over at Evil Jin... and grabs his arm* Um... should I kill him?

EWB - No!!! NOT HIM! Jinsoku! The red guy!

War Troophead - Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! The Village Idiot.

EJ - FORMER Village Idiot.

War Troophead - T__T Whatever. I'll be back in a minute. *rushes out*

EWB - Jin! Vec! Come with me!

EV - WHEE! Field trip! *jumps off the chandelier, and skips beside Evil Dubs*

EJ - *Looks at his chains* Do I have a choice? ;

The three go down the steps, long, long steps, the Crystal Fortress, tall and high. On the way down, Evil Jin tries to explain the whole PiE situation between Hashagu and himself.

EWB - Vec, that's the last friggin' time I let you power the elevator.

EV - Well, it did go faster.

EWB - It was JET PROPELLED! ONLY TO GO UP! And after it crashed through the roof, it's pretty much USELESS! NOW, we need to go DOWN!!!

EV - Hmm. Good point.

EJ - Anyway, Jin might or might not know the full meaning of PiE.

Evil Dub stops

EWB - BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE KNEW!!!

EJ - Well, yeah, but now that I think about it, when we split, he must've ended up with one half, and me with the other. Probably why we can only remember the damn word alone.

EWB - SCREW YOU, HIPPY!!! You get back together with him at ONCE! VEC!

EV - Boss?

EWB - *Grabs him* Go outside, and call a meeting! This is IMPORTANT!!! *tosses him down the stairs*

EV - EEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

EWB - Don't worry! It's faster that way! Besides, the scars heal!

12:20 AM EST , 10/01/02

-- Outside the doors of the Crystal Fortress --

Evil Dubs and Evil Jin step outside, Evil Dub dragging Evil Jin along to the front of the building, where a crowd was forming already.

EWB - Everyone's here?

War Troophead - Everyone. Even Jin.

EWB - No... not everyone... someone's missing...

A random scream builds up from the sky, getting closer and closer and...

Vortex - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! * THUD!!!!!!!!!!!!*

EWB - NOW it's everyone.

Suddenly, Jinsoku's pushed through the crowds, to the center.

Jin - HEY HEY! What the hell's all this about!?

Evil Jin emerges from behind the Evil Admins, in his chains.

Jin - Oh great. Hi, Oshin.

EJ - Jin.

Suddenly the crowd goes silent.

Vortex - Call me an ambulance!!!

Inirikooc - *kicks him* BE SILENT!!!

Vortex - *groans* ... *whispers* Call me an ambulance...

Inirikooc - Fine. You're an ambulance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ !RIM SHOT! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jin - Well...?

EJ - So, Jin, time to get back together again?

Jinsoku pauses... then peers at Evil Jin.

Jin - I'm not joining with you again.

EJ - Why not?

Jin - I got rid of you. It's over.

EJ - *Grins, and looks back towards the crowd around them* Heh. They don't think so.

Jin - What the hell do they have to do with this?

Evil Jin steps forward, moving his arms aside, to reveal the word "PiE" on his shirt, with a sly grin on his face. Jinsoku's face changes to a hollow expression... then to that of concern, glaring over at Evil Jin.

Jin - ... PiE ... what do they care?

EJ - It's been FOUR YEARS of secracy, Jin! And they ALL want to know!

EJ - So tell them, Jinny boy!

Jin - Why don't you tell them?

EJ - Only you know it.

Jin - ... don't you?

EJ - *chuckles, a smirk across his face* Jinny boy, Jinny boy. You get rid of me, you get rid of everything. Even if it

is the dumbest @#%! you ever created with that mind of yours. So they want us to merg as one again. *sighs* Which is why I'm chained up... why though, I don't know. I love the idea. That means I get rid of this horrid life, with these people not appreciating me or my crazy antics, soooo--

Furious, Jinsoku points his finger to Evil Jin, yelling at the top of his lungs.

Jin - You're not fusing back with me, Oshin! I got rid of you for a REASON! You're nothing but evil, idiocy, and a pervert! And I don't care if these people want to know about PiE! If it involves you, THEN THEY'LL NEVER KNOW!

At a tug of the chains, the mere strength of Jinsoku Oshin breaks the chain on his cuffs with a loud SNAP. Nothing but the wind blows, and both Jins, good and evil, catch eachother's eyes.

EJ - I'll make you.

Jinsoku just stares at Evil Jin, not believing his words, until Evil Jin breaks into a furious roar, his fur color changing to a bright and evil glow of purple, his pupils nothing but white. Jinsoku Oshin is now, in what Jin's universe is known as, a Neon Warrior. (ie; kinda like a super saiya-jin, except with my concepts). Immediately thereafter, Jinsoku does the same without breaking a sweat, his fur turning into a bright glow of orange, his pupils a sky blue, both their ora's illuminating the night and the crowd.

Jin - OSHIN!!! ...

No response.

Jin - DON'T DO THIS!!!

Suddenly, Evil Jin charges at Jinsoku at a screaming fury, all the while Jin just stands there, not flinching a muscle.

In a blink of an eye, Oshin swings at Jin's face, but at a quick tenth of a second, it's stopped by Jin's own hand.

EJ - Grrrr!!! RARR!!!

He swings his left fist now at his face, yet once again, is stopped by Jin's quick movement. Oshin struggles to get away from Jin's grip, but apparently with no prevail.

Jin - Are you even trying?

Evil Jin, fuming with anger, doesn't respond.

Jin - I told you not to bother. I'm still twice as strong as you!

With a quick smack to the chest, Jin sends Oshin straight to the ground, face up with a loud THWUMP.

EJ - Egh... god that hurt. Eh? *looks up, Jinsoku standing over him*

Jin - *His hand pointed down at Evil Jin, about to blast him with his powerful aura* Get up.

EJ - Just kill me--

Jin - *Suddenly his aura around him ignites brighter and bigger* I SAID, "GET UP!"

EJ - *gulp!* Yes'm! *fumbles up and dusts himself off*

Jin - *Looks towards the crowd, his hand still extended towards Evil Jin* Someone get him new chains.

*CLICK*

EJ - What th- *looks down, to his surprise, the cuffs back on his wrist in an instant, and looking to his right, he see's WB innocently waving at Evil Jin himself*

WB - Ah-heheheh... *backs away*

EJ - Grr...

Jin - Power down.

EJ - Grr... THIS IS GETTING DAMN annoying! Can't we just reform, then you can get rid of me again right after this is over with!?!?

...

Jin - ... I never thought of that.

The whole crowd face faults to the floor.

Jin - Fine then. I guess it was my fault for even STARTING this mess... but just for this... then I get rid of you. Permanently. *Extends his hand out to Evil Jin* Deal?

Evil Jin just takes Jin's hand, both of them looking into eachother's eye, pretty much sealing the deal, and suddenly... it clicks!

Evil Jin and Jin - I REMEMBER!

They let go of eachother's grip!

Evil Jin and Jin - PiE IS! ... ... ummmm...

EJ - Did you just forget, too?

Jin - Yeah... what the hell's going on here?

Evil Vec - Hmm... well I believe it seems like you two don't even have to worry about fusing together anymore. All ya's gotta do is at least touch eachother and I believe it's like jumper cables on a car! You both start up your memory!

EWB - Great analogy.

EV - YAY! THANKS!

EWB - Bring down the ego.

EV - Sorry.

EJ - *groans and looks down, annoyed as hell* I hate this.

Jin - I'm not touching him anywhere!

Crowd - DO IT!!!

Jin - FINE! You bastards...

EJ - Don't touch m-

Jin - Shut up and just gimme your foot.

They both shuffle their feet, and both their shoes touch eachother at the tip, and again, it clicks.

EJ - ... ... oh crap. Hey Jin?

Jin - Yeah?

EJ - They're gonna kill us for the stupidity of this, y'know that right?

Jin - Yup.

EJ - *sighs* Fine. Alright, you assholes, you asked for it...

Jin - PiE is...

AND NOW WE GIVE YOU A BETTER EXPLANATION OF PiE I WROTE IN MAY!

PiE - A dogma of the female organ, rather, like a layer cake having cream, or jelly filling, or to be blunt, the small elongated erectile organ of the female body. "To 'Worship the PiE' is to bow down to the female organ, that in which the male longs for."

LADIES OF THE MOFO: REJOICE. For men are in your control. Once you have them lost in the wrong place, just take them in the palm of your hands. XD Ah, it's so sad.

Jin - And there you have it.

EJ - That's PiE, alright... NOW WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TAKE THESE @#%!ING CHAINS OFF OF ME!!!

Jin - AIEEE!

Vortex tosses over the key to Evil Jin.

EJ - Oooh! Hey thanks!

~~SECONDS LATER~~

Jin - Wooh! Finally! That's the end of that!

EJ - Hm...

Jin - The name "Jinsoku" is clear of any running gags forever!

EJ - Not quite.

Jin - ... wait, what?

EJ - There's still something left to deal with...

Jin - *Twitching* WHAT WOULD THAT BE?!

EJ - *grins* Silly Jin. You get too paranoid sometimes. Relax...

*THWUNK!*

EJ - *shoves something down Jinsoku's throat* HAVE A CRAPCICLE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- see ya! *Powers up and flies off*

Jin - *spits out and gets right back up* HEY! YOU WHORE! GET BACK HERE!!! *chases after him*

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THE END