found these at another forum i goto, enjoy!
12. Life is sexually transmitted.
11. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.
10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you don't see him
excited, make him a sandwich!
9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
8. Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you
can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing.
5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
3. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come
to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
1. Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired
Visas (some for as long as 10-15 years). At Blockbuster you're two days
late with a video rental and those people are all over you. I think we
should put Blockbuster in charge of US Immigration.
10: Your computer will never be fast enough.
9: Your exam questions will always involve the word 'analyse'.
8: When you're finally holding all the cards, everyone else is playing chess.
7: Your collection will never be complete.
6: You have your best ideas at 11:30 at night or 4AM.
5: Prawns go with nothing but seafood.
4: Mineral Water may contain nuts.
3: Fanfiction.net is loaded with crap stories, but only yours gets thrown off.
2: Your parents never mow the lawn unless you're in.
1: If you buy something at the first shop you see it at, you'll find it cheaper elsewhere. If you shop around, it will always be the cheapest place to buy.
The original list made me laugh, pretty clever little thing, humourous.
Harley's makes me sigh and wonder if she grasped the humour of the original post, or just decided that it would be a good excuse to start ranting about things which she's currently annoyed about, again.
No, I just wanted to mention some things that always seem to happen.
What, you think I'm annoyed because prawns don't go with anything? I was just trying to be funny...
and, I'm sure the non-smut fic writting people here are completely agreeing and rolling over the aisles about your fan-fiction.net comment 
I'd heard most of those, but #1 made me laugh. Because it's so true.
On an unrelated note, Craig and Harley should get a room.
Hey, I didn't say anything about smut. I got fics taken off just because they were in script form after Fanfiction.net suddenly decided it didn't want scripts. Then I got banned.
That bites.
Recently Craig's been singling me out, or at least it feel like it.
Quote:
and, I'm sure the non-smut fic writting people here are completely agreeing and rolling over the aisles about your fan-fiction.net comment 😛
Perhaps if it were rewritten, "FF.n is loaded with crap stories, while yours get ignored" would have made me nod in agreement, but even that's too generic to warrant being a Universal Rule of the Universe.
o_O
I'd heard most of those, but #1 made me laugh. Because it's so true.
No, no, get the financial aid people on them. They have better resources!
Blockbuster is second on that list for doing it, though. :p
Better yet get the FDA on them.
The FDA can track one BSE infected cow from two years ago back to it's stall in Canada.
All we have to do is issue foreigners a cow when the enter the US.
Jimro
All we have to do is issue foreigners a cow when the enter the US.
You have an extremely jaded view of the world, don't you. oO
Actually, no, we're both wrong. The BEST people to sic on them are the Three Stooges. They'll never know what's coming when they're mocking Curly!
Yes, that was an enjoying read.
I do kinda agree with Craig on this one Harley, but the list ain't THAT bad.
