Can't you rework the pacing or the wording or something of the last line? It's kinda awkward. Maybe try changing all the rhymes to "Eeee" sounds. I'll help, Hiro, if I can get my mic to work.

Edit: Maybe this would work?

Bye, bye, EzBoard we must flee
Server Matinence is for wankers
Vec, we want to be free
We've made our sigs
And kissed EliteBoard howdy
Singin' this took a vector 'ventually...
This took a Vector 'ventually...

YOu don't have to change it, but at least try it.

Edit: Steebs (10:04 am): You have to sing the Vector Eventually line for the duration of one year on Pluto.

That too. =O

Changes = no... It doesn't sound...MoFo'ish enough... And it would cause confusion....

To be honest, I thought that the changes just tightened it up rather than affected the atmosphere, but that's just me. What do you define as "MoFo-ish"?

My first thought reading it was that the beat count seems too clunky and could fit the tune beter than it does. Would anyone mind if I had a think about looking at it myself?

I don't mean to insult your writing or put you off your idea at all - I just think it could be a little smoother than it is.

*puts copy on top of worryingly large pile of filks to be prepared for LRP event at end of month and waits patiently for response*

Not bad hiro, wonder what the 'final' verson will sound like.

I would do something, but I don't have a macrophone.

And TTG, your quote took place before I woke up. =O

tiiime zoooones

sillikins Nn

Quote:

---

You have to sing the Vector Eventually line for the duration of one year on Pluto.

---

You do realize by the time that's over; you, your children, and your great-grandchildren would be dead; and you descendants will think that you were insane: cool.

Just giving you a heads up. :p

EDIT: Building off what Turtle said I think it might sound a bit better as follows:
bye-bye, EZBoard we flee
Server Maintenance was wanky
Vec, we wanna be free
We've made our sigs,
and kissed EliteBoard howdy
Singin, this took Vec an e-ter-nit-ty
this took Vec an e-ter-nit-ty
but I will see if I can dig up my mike in time, it's probly in one of three boxes marked "electronics" (still haven't fully unpacked from moving). if I do find it, I will sing whichever version you like best.

Hear that? No, pay attention... Closer...
Mmhm.
That's the sound of Don McLean ashamed and crying.

Keep it real, boston man.

Geo that happened when Madonna covered the song.

Anything else is like one guy getting stabbed next to WWII, honestly.

Also, The original lyrics are kind of weird in the pacing and rhyme scheme (I tried singing them and they just sound wonky). Turtle's/Puar's FTW.

Oh, hell, I forgot about that cover. Completely went against most of the things that the first song stood for. Dumb b*tch prolly didnt even understand it.
But we all try to forgot that. Liek Avril Laviene's cover of Fuel... Or the Reload album itself.

I got to buy a microphone from an electronics store, so here it is.

This is all you're gonna get, Hiro. }=O

I like Hiro's lyrics better, to be honest. You could change the phrase "Server Maintenance is for wankers," to fit a bit better, though.

>< @ all of you...

When I said request... I meant to sing... Not to think of ways to rewrite the lyrics I wrote...

I'm putting my Oldest Child/ Only (for the first 11 years >>) Child rights/ frame of mind on this...

Oh, and I'll probably except stuff after the 14th... The lyrics will probably go up then, but I don't know when I'll be able to record the song...

Hiro: ITS MY SONG I CAN SING IT THE WAY THAT I WANT TO WAH WAH WAH I HATE YOU ALL *runs to his room*

😛

Exactly... This ain't a democracy... It's a benevolent dictatorship...

*bans Hiro for dot overuse*

As I said in chat TTG >>

The Turtle Guy (9:11 am): You used 2 elipses in one line. =O
The Turtle Guy (9:11 am): *3
The Turtle Guy (9:11 am): You mus be bannned
Boston (9:12 am): I'm the King of Elipses
Boston (9:12 am): I can do what ever the f**k I want

I just recorded, signed-up with putfile and uploaded this today, all to try and enter this. I hope I'm not too late.Click here to watch "Hiro-Kilo"

lol two people entered

I told you you should have revised the lyrics.

><

In the confusion of this weekend, I forgot to edit and say that I was going to extend the deadline...

And bat, I thought you had offered to do a version... before any suggestions of a rewrite came up...

My contribution

I know you wanted it emailed, but I figured you'd check here anyway. :3

It's not much, but there it is. ^^; I know it sounds strange, but I haven't warmed up at all today and without warming up, those lower notes are crap. But whatever. I hope it works - it took me ages to get my program to cooperate o_@;

~Shadowed Spirit Sage

*a puff of smoke appears on each of TMX's shoulder. From the smoke emerges two mini-TMXs*

TMXs ego: Belt it out with all your might! Hold nothing back!
TMXs what-ever-the-opposite-of-an-ego-is: Nah man, you need to use restraint. This isnt a competition,
and other people are going to be singing this chorus besides you.
Ego: what are you talking about? The only other people entered are Sage and Boston.
Not-ego: Others may have entered via e-mail or PM.
Ego: Full force!
Not-Ego: Restraint!
TMX Himself: Stop! Im doing both, let Boston make the decision.

I realize Boston doesnt want me singing the They were singin, line, but I found it impossible to perform
without it, Im sure he can edit it out himself.

Click here to watch "E-Z-Board-Die-soft"

Click here to watch "E-Z-Board-Die-Loud"