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Deodorant abusing my sexuality

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 Srol
(@srol_1722027881)
Posts: 917
Noble Member
Topic starter
 

Okay, so yesterday I went grocery shopping. I needed to pick up a few essentials while I was there, specifically deoderant, as I was almost out.

Now I couldn't tell you the brand of deoderant I use without going into the other room and finding it. I know it's a stick thing, it's white and if you rub it on you it makes you not-smell. Frankly, that's all I require of my deoderant.

Anyway, when I get home from the grocery store, I'm unpacking my bags, and I find something that I knew I did not put in my cart.

Axe Body Spray: Clix Fragrance. You may have seen commercials for it on Adult Swim and whatnot where they have a guy with a little clicky thing, and he clicks it every time a woman notices how good he smells.

Uh...okay?

So get this. This is what it actually says on the back of the bottle. I'm not talking about in the big marketting text, I'm talking about the smallprint right above where they print the ingredients.

"AXE DEODORANT BODYSPRAY is the all-over bodyspray with long-lasting fragrance and effective deodorant protection. Designed to seduce the ladies. If you spray it, they will come."

Designed to seduce the ladies, eh? Well if you put it that way...

It was late at night, and I was curious, so I decided to test it out. I sprayed a little bit in the air just to see how it smelled, and immedietly got knocked over. It didn't smell bad, but then again, it didn't smell good either. It just really...smelled. Like I was constantly aware of the odor and couldn't get away from it. It was literally repulsing me. I had to get out of the room.

As I left the room, I began to feel queasy and naseous. My stomach was gurgling and my head was pounding. Before I knew it, I was over the toilet puking out my dinner. Even after this, I felt sicker than sick and had to go straight to bed even though it was incredibly early for me.

So apparently, I'm allergic to the only bodyspray "designed to seduce the ladies".

What....what does that mean?

I suppose it could be part of their marketting ploy that it makes men sick. In that way, it keeps all other men away so you will only ever be in the presence of women. Yeah, let's go with that one.

I'm kinda scared to think of the alternatives.

 
(@cookirini)
Posts: 1619
Noble Member
 

This is why you should go with Secret, my friend.

So what if you might smell like baby powder? It won't make you puke your food up, and women won't mind it.

.....Or you could just go with Old Spice... oo.

 
(@ultra-sonic-007)
Posts: 4336
Famed Member
 

Right Guard, Secret...Old Spice on occasion.

 
(@erika-the-ocelot)
Posts: 1037
Noble Member
 

Just get the cheapest thing you find! Like I do!
Or your favorite or something.

 
(@sandygunfox)
Posts: 3468
Famed Member
 

Axe Phoenix is still the only good Axe. For the record, a female picked it out for me.

 
(@cipher_strelok98)
Posts: 1358
Noble Member
 

Axe is a wanna be cologne.

 
(@supreme-master-magi)
Posts: 162
Estimable Member
 

i like tag body shots midnight or lucky day.... but i use arridXX its really good oh and i found out you can get high on tag....

 
(@stewie0015)
Posts: 815
Prominent Member
 

Degree ftw... My MOM uses Secret... (no, seriously, she does >>)

 
(@tergonaut)
Posts: 2438
Famed Member
 

Right Guard, in spray can format, is a really good potato gun propellant. It works a few tons better than any cheap hair spray, and it smells nicer after being ignited.

Just remember to use Right Guard responsibly.

 
(@rabid-rodent_1722027878)
Posts: 488
Honorable Member
 

You could always try the rub-on stick stuffs. 😮

 
(@chu-chu-sonic)
Posts: 182
Estimable Member
 

yah try tag it should have the same lady suducing effect, only it wont make you puke!

 
(@sandygunfox)
Posts: 3468
Famed Member
 

AXE PHOENIX.

 
(@thecycle)
Posts: 1818
Noble Member
 

Axe is basically cheap cologne. It doesn't stop you from sweating, and only temporarily masks the smell of BO. It's not a replacement for actual anti-perspirant.

 
(@chibibecca_1722585688)
Posts: 3291
Famed Member
 

i must admit, i've never felt even slightly attacted to men due to their deoderaunt.

i've been compleately repulsed by men who stink badly of BO, however, to the point of once having to leave the room to get away from one guy before i was sick. >.x;;

but i've yet to hear of anyone having an allergy to that sort of stuff. o.o;

 
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
New Member Guest
 

All sexy teenaged girls I know absolutely love the smell of axe.
So, what rolls.

oh and i found out you can get high on tag
Have fun getting teabagged in hell.

 
(@sailor-rose-dust)
Posts: 1573
Noble Member
 

I swear by Suave deodorant myself. Especially the powder scent. I love it.

 
(@crimson-darkwolfe)
Posts: 2232
Noble Member
 

In the words of Lynx deodorent (that's axe to heathens obviously)

Boom Chicka Wow Wow

 
(@shadowed-spirit-sage)
Posts: 955
Noble Member
 

Honestly, I echo anybody who says Secret in here. The Platinum variety is TOUGH and comes in a bunch of scents... and if you don't like the scent (or don't wanna smell like a girly girl), go unscented :3 Simple as that.

Old Spice is a good choice as well. I've probably smelled Axe before at school, but I couldn't tell you if it's a lady seducer or not ;p

But yeesh, sorry that happened to you dude o.o; **hugs!**

~Shadowed Spirit Sage

 
(@tornadot)
Posts: 1567
Noble Member
 

Axe sucks. The smell is really awful and I'm not shocked something like this happened. I usually go with Right Guard or Irish Spring...

 
(@spiner-storm)
Posts: 2016
Noble Member
 

Remember kids, shower and/or bathe reguarly. =D

And, Lynx.

 
(@stumbleina)
Posts: 534
Honorable Member
 

I second the shower and bathe regularly comment. It's obvious who tries to cover up not showing for three days by putting on cheap spray.

I also have a problem with "deodorant" (cheap spray) being used in place of real anti-persperant + cologne/perfume.

I love Secret Platinum unscented, but I don't use it anymore because it's tested on animals and contains huge amounts of alumnimun that is totally not body/environmentally friendly. Now I use some hippie deodorant rock from Lush that works just as well and doesn't have any toxic chemicals in it.

 
 Srol
(@srol_1722027881)
Posts: 917
Noble Member
Topic starter
 

I think it's kinda funny that I just wanted to share this amusing anecodate, and everyone else seems to interpret it as a sign that I don't know what kind of deodorant to use, or as an implicatio that I do not bathe regularely.

I have a regular deodorant. I just used it in fact...I just don't know what it's called.

 
(@stumbleina)
Posts: 534
Honorable Member
 

I think it turned into a bunch of anecdotes not because anyone assumes you don't know how to use deodarant or bathe, but because people like to talk about themselves and there aren't alot of ways to respond to your post other than, like, "huh".

 
(@sandygunfox)
Posts: 3468
Famed Member
 

Axe deodorant sticks work great, for me. o.o I need to use it, I know when I don't within a few hours. >> I own a few cans of the spray, but I only really use the deodorant.

For the record, I've gotten complimented on it before.

 
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
New Member Guest
 

Actually, if you didnt get a chance to shower one night, a bit of axe helps you through the school day.
Also good for unwashed clothing.

I use old spice, dead people, or ace stick in the morning. Shop class and gym class make me sweat a bit in school, but that's ok, because my sweat smells like the hair of God.

 
(@darkest-light)
Posts: 1376
Noble Member
 

Mitchum.

Yeah so what if its 99 cents. It works as good as Secret. And Axe Pheonix ftw

 
(@sakaki22)
Posts: 235
Reputable Member
 

I wear Speed Stick, and my significant other has a variety of Axe (And Tag Midnight) for a scent garnish or something.

Yes, Clix is unnecessarily strong.

For a while, I used an Axe Touch deoderant bar, and in bar form Axe is a VERY effective anti-persperant. But not worth the $6.

Although, mine was used daily for almost two years before running out.....

 
(@deckman92)
Posts: 1201
Noble Member
 

I've never used Axe, but I know its scent all too well. You ever see those moronic assholes in the gym locker room who spray Axe all over themselves and their clothes for a good 10 seconds or so? This should be illegal. The raping of sinuses should be deserving of at least a fine of some sort. Jesus Christ, use some moderation.

 
(@sandygunfox)
Posts: 3468
Famed Member
 

Yeah, just a quick spray or so and that's plenty and/or far more than plenty, but people will take a bath in the crap sometimes.

 
(@sailor-rose-dust)
Posts: 1573
Noble Member
 

What's worse is when people substitute deodorant of any kind for an actual bath.

 
(@sandygunfox)
Posts: 3468
Famed Member
 

Wait wait wait, isn't that what the bodyspray is for?

 
(@chibibecca_1722585688)
Posts: 3291
Famed Member
 

at least they're trying to mask the smell, unwashed and without deodorant is waay worse.

 
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
New Member Guest
 

You would think so, but an unwashed person with BO who slaps some cologne on doesn't smell any better; they just smell like BO and cologne.

 
(@sailor-rose-dust)
Posts: 1573
Noble Member
 

Some of them can only put on so much of the stuff before they start making people collapse just by walking past them.

 
(@sandygunfox)
Posts: 3468
Famed Member
 

Yeah, but that's really funny, if you've never tried it before, Kay.

 
(@sailor-rose-dust)
Posts: 1573
Noble Member
 

But it's mean. Not to mention inconsiderate. If they want to stink, do it away from everyone else.

 
(@veckums)
Posts: 1758
Noble Member
 

I've been hesitant to come out about this, but your courage has inspired me Srol. A deodorant also abused me sexu... oh. Umm. Never mind.

 
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