You really wanna here what I have to say?

He needs AA. If his drinking is getting to the point where he's treating his family like crap and he really doesn't care? He's at least a borderline alcholic and needs help.

It's not odd for parents to drink. My mom and stepdad do on occasion. I remember my real dad did, and he did yell at me. But he appologized afterward and usually didn't drink for a few weeks after that out of guilt.

BUT, if this is a reoccurring thing. Talk to your mother about getting him help. Intervention, AA meetings, whatever you two decide on.

This generations parents are pretty damn lazy. I know because at my age I'm close to were I could be one, not to mention most of my friends are. They seem to think the purpose of a child is free maintaince of your apartment/house.

Sum that up. It could be stress, if its happening a lot and there no sign of your dad feeling bad about treating you that way, it may not be and you should talk to your mother about it.

~Rico

I think he needs help, but I also think it's wrong of you to swear at your parents. It's disrespectful. I do understand that people often say what they don't mean when they get mad, but it is still hurtful.

I know every family has problems, so you should all just work it out between yourselves.

I'm the youngest kid in my family, so I have to deal with two older siblings, one who bosses me around and another who's very obnoxious. They get me mad sometimes, but I deal with it.

We all have problems with our parents, but what just happened is just plain cruel IMO. Y'know what I think? I think he doesn't deserve to have you as a son, especially if he thinks that ill of you. Though I've seen worse things happen to parents and their kids. I've heard stories where parents would abandon their kids, sometimes just the father, sometimes both parents. Sometimes they're just abusive, physically. In one case, I had a friend who was raped at a very very young age by her uncles. oO
Although me and my mother don't get along that well, I'm thankful things aren't that bad. It can always be worse. Sounds like he does need AA though. Heck, it might do you some good to talk to a councellor as well that'll help you sort your feelings out, or even just a good friend can help. This must be pretty hard. oo *hugs*

I think that you should realize you're not the only one who has bad days.
That may sound like a mean statement, but it's true.
You aren't the only one who may get cranky or irritated at times over nothing. Everybody has times when work piles up and becomes unmanageable, or simply get mad for no reason.

I think you need to stay out of your father's way for a while and try to see things from his point of view.

believe it or not, i'm actually agreeing with wonderbat on this one.

I too have days in which i feel like i'm going to just explode. (we all do.)

i just recently got over an entire week of wanting to just go crazy from anger.

I think that you should realize you're not the only one who has bad days.

There's a difference between having a bad day and having a bad day due to alcohol. And alcohol or no, it's not okay to retaliate the way his father did.

That said, it probably wasn't a good idea for SS70 to retaliate as well ^^;

**hugs** I suppose in a situation like this, it would be wise to choose your battles with your father, whether he's under the influence of alcohol or not... Try to steer away from him if he's been drinking, that will likely minimize arguments ^^;;

However, if this happens often, you shouldn't be changing your patterns to try to accomodate his irrational behavior. I agree with Rico, if it's generating so much family stress, you should talk with your mother (and your father too, seeing as it does involve him) about it. Any sort of counseling service, AA, anything. One of the main things that keeps relationships of any form intact is with communication, remember that 🙂

**hugs**

~Shadowed Spirit Sage

Have you ever REALLY been angry though? you don't always think rationally and say things you might regret. In all actuality (SP?) Being drunk, in a sense, makes you more likely to say incredibly stupid things.

Well, I have to say, I know the feeling. Want a bit of humor on the subject: One of Mom's ...better days, I guess...called me, I swear, a "son of a b*tch". Now some of you might not get why that's funny, so here. My MOM called her SON a SON of et cetera.

I'd be happy to talk to you one-on-one about it, EzMessage me or email me (@drewdex2@hotmail.com) or IM me (Y!M: sonicx667 MSN: same as email AIM: SX Kitsune) and I'd be more than happy to talk with you, if you'd like.

As for this post: My dad's sometimes a true dick, but I don't think he's done much like that. My mother, and Dad's wife, they're both different stories.

If you don't mind a personal question, has your father ever been physically violent, like, when drunk or something?

Either way, you should see a pshrink. It helps, trust me.

As for anything else, try to avoid him when he's hung over...

P.S. If you email me, please include you're from the MoFo in the subject line, otherwise I may mistake it for spam.

Have you ever REALLY been angry though? you don't always think rationally and say things you might regret. In all actuality (SP?) Being drunk, in a sense, makes you more likely to say incredibly stupid things.

I'm not exactly sure who this was directed to (I'm guessing me only 'cause I was the last to reply after you). But yes, I have been really angry before, and I've had a time where I couldn't think straight and ended up telling a good friend of mine many things which looking back I rather wouldn't have said.

I'm just saying perhaps things wouldn't have escalated to the point where his dad said such scathing remarks had SS70 not retaliated in the way he did ^^; Hence why I added the "choosing battles" comment. I know it's difficult, heck I still need to learn the lesson myself (my mouth has gotten me in trouble a lot more often than I care to reveal ^^; )

~Shadowed Spirit Sage

Your dad's pissed at you randomly... congratulations. Want a medal?

Whenever you're in an arguement with your parents, just say "Ye'sir" and nod. K?

And that's the best advice you'll ever get.

Then, five years later, charge them through the ass in consultant fees.

~Rico

Figures you'd word it like that, Rico?

And that is my lame attempt at humor...

Your dad's pissed at you randomly... congratulations. Want a medal?

And that's the best advice you'll ever get.

Anyway, Geo, it's not nearly that simple usually. You would know, what with alts like "Abused Child" and "Dr. Coathangar"...

Anyway, is it just me or did our topic starter dissapear?

He's still around the guild. Lets hope he ignores Geo. Lets also hope it is just a case of one random incident and its not something more serious.

~Rico

If it's an isolated incident I wouldn't worry about it, but if it's a recurring thing, especially if alcohol is involved, do try to see a psrhink. Maybe at your school, a counselor?

Lets hope he ignores Geo.
That's what the nazis said about hitler.
and he did.
and then we had the holocaust.
Think about that next time you dip into your morning soup.

Well thank you Geo. What a help you were. I sure wish there were more people like you in the world to help pathetic people like me out in life.

Thanks guys. I really appreciate your encouraging words. Me and my mom are still discussing the intervention possibility. I sure hope it works and makes him come out of his denial. That would help us alot.

And it's actually funny that idea was recommended, because I do go to therapy and my therapist brought it up once, and she'll be able to help me organize it.

well, it's good to know you have a plan and people to help you execute it.

Man, I know what you're going through... I've been through it myself, actually. Sitting in the closet and crying your eyes out was always my response, but lately I've just learned not to pay attention to my dad. He was brought up to be the most arrogant, racist, uncaring and VIOLENT snob possible, and if it weren't for the Ten Commandments, I wouldn't have an ounce of respect for him.

I've even gotten my share of black eyes from him, which I had to lie off as accidents in the past. No more, though. If he so much as lays a finger on me from now on, he'll find himself behind bars.

It's sad for someone like me to think this way, but my dad brought it upon himself with the way he treated my mom and I through the years. It doesn't get much worse than your mom lying on the floor crying and sobbing "Call the police!" while your dad is disconnecting the battery from the truck engines to prevent escape (rural area).

Hang tough. It'll be ok, man. I've learned to harden my heart over the years, and it's resulted in an extremely awkward social life for me, where I can only be myself around my closest friends. Don't be like me. =)

So what you're saying is we should just ban you before you try to cause trouble? No, I don't think so, its more fun to hand you rope.

~Rico

Was that targeted at me Rico? I sure hope not. If I did anything wrog, I'm sorry.

I can relate to you Hyper. Me and my dad have gotten in a few small brawls ourselves. One time he wrapped both his hands around my neck and hit my head up pretty hard against a wall. That really hurt. The worst part is that he had the nerve to lie about it later on. I had to tell my barber that I fell down the stairs.

Also I would like to take the time to explain to you my extremely deep hatred for my father.

It all happened one summer/fall when I was 12 (2 years ago). He was an alcoholic (still is) and my mother was an alcoholic (she's been sober since her accident). Two alcoholics do NOT mix very well at all. Anyway, they fought quite a bit. I was always the one in the middle, ya know? I was the kid crying and trying to make them stop, even though I knew it wouldn't work and would be the same thing the next night.

Well they would fight and say mean, hurtful things and my dad would just simply run away. He would just get his keys and just get in the car and drive to wherever it is he was going, because we (me and my mom) didn't know at the time. And he just abandoned me. Every night he did this. I picked my passed-out mom off the floor while he was out having big fun.

So he abandoned me. He abandoned me and my mother. He would come back 2 days or so later, sometimes the next day, and would be on some really bad guilt trip and take us out and buy us stuff because he felt guilty, yet he constantly kept this up.

Well 2 years pass and I finally know where he went. He cheated on my mom. Yep. While he was out banging some filthy little tramp, I stayed up all night and waited for my dad, but he cared more about that little @#%$ than his own flesh and blood.

SO let's recap, shall we?

1) My dad was a drunk

2) He abandoned me

3) He cheated not only on my mom, but on me as well

4) The days he was home he was too hungover to do anything with me

5) He had the cahones to lie to me, straight to my face

And earlier this year we found a voicemail message on his cellphone from some woman telling him that she was sick at work and had to go home. He said it was a good friend of his, but my good female friends don't call me to let me know they hed to come home from school because they're sick.

Okay. My sad story is over. Felt good to get all that crap off my chest.

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Was that targeted at me Rico?

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It was for Geogwe. It's slightly more obvious if you look at the "tree" at the bottom of the thread.

Call social services or childline, if it's that bad. Your silence is only letting him get away with it, if he's self-destructive and physically abuses you, there are services which are set up to save kids from abusive families.

Failing that, talking to teachers and councillers at school is a good idea, there's absoloutely no reason for you to suffer any of this unless you chose to. There are always options, not many people take them because they find themselves emotionally attached to the chaotic environment which they dwell, making up as many excuses from taking the logical and easy answer, I hope you don't. Make a call or have a talk. Family is only a concept, not a rule, afterall. If you're miserable with yours, get the hell out.

Yeah, what Craig said. There's several abuse-suppert hotline numbers, nationwide and local-area, available throughout the U.S, if you need one. If you're in the UKland...Well there's also Google to search numbers.

There's no excuse for drunken abuse. Remember that. Also: *pokes his first post in the topic*

And DDK: ...o.o; That's seriously summin you should have investigated.

And Geo: ...You're not worth the time to type a better response.

And back to the subject: No problem, I, and I'm sure I speak for a lot of us, am always here for ya. Don't hesistate to email me, if you'd like.

As long as you're able to get through it, Super, you can leave it behind in the past. Maybe briefly look back on it and be glad you got through it, you know?

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I can relate to you Hyper.

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tell you the truth, you really can't when it comes to parents.
Me and my dad are best friends, and my mom always helps me when i need it.
not saying your mom wouldn't do that for you either, but i was trying to address the dad situation.

Thank you guys. Luckily I memorized the number for child services. I would rather have an intervention and give him one more chance to sober up. After that, I'm done.

And what you have to understand is that my mom is unemployed, due to her condition, and she is on several different perscriptions. If he is in jail, we can't get her medicine. That's the only reason he probably isn't in jail right about now. So if I were to call child services, we might just be worse off without him.

And I think I might have mixed you and DDK up, Hyper. I get confused when I'm tired. And my mom would pretty much do anyhing for me. I'm a momma's boy. She's the best mom in the whole wide world and wouldn't trade her for nothing.