You ever have one of those dreams. The dreams ware it makes no sense, but when you wake up, everything snaps hard and fast into prospective. Like a jigsaw puzzle scene through the window of insanity, suddenly every piece slides together... This clarity was simple for me. I had a dream, it was about a sea serpent, he danced, and i befriended a dog. When i awoke, as the dream faded, i understood the meaning. JK rowling must die.
Why? Why kill the beloved author of the children/snuff novels that are the harry potter books. It's not because she's popular. More power to her. Let her gain popularity tell the end of days. It isn't because she's only slowly learning how to write. I mean she didn't seem to know any other words besides 'he said' before the third book. This is also fine. I'm glad she wrote a book that got popular enough for the publisher to start throwing editors at her by the bushel full.
It has nothing to do with the aggravating way she advertises her books... Maybe it's the editor's fault, because after the second book they went from dramatic children's stories to snuff books. Ware little kids got to pick them up and with there grubby fingers search for all the death and murder. Which is fine. Kill anyone you want. But when every book that comes out advertises AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER WILL DIE, READ TO FIND OUT WHO! i get a little miffed. The 7th book's slogan should be 'someone will die, I'm not telling who, maybe hermoine, maybe you!'. I don't read a book just to find out who dies. Sometimes i read books to find out who is the killer, those are called mystery books.
I don't think she should die because of her extremal heavy handed for-shadowing. Ware every event in each novel is hinted at for as long as possible until when it finally happens all you can do is nod to yourself. That's fine, for-shadowing is done however you want it to be done, people like the books, they win. I don't mind the plot holes or the inconsistencies, the way harry gets obsessed with his own greatness and continues to do stupid stupid things even when they start getting people dead. I don't mind that in the 4th book the 'important character to die' was someone who's name i couldn't even remember.
That's all fine. Heck, i don't even think she should die for her inexplicable hatred of the united states. Or my dislike of her as a person, I've heard her say things like "to become a children's author i had to also become a horrible murderer." or "no American character will ever show up in my books i hate America and all it stands for." (it should be noted that by 'hearing her say' i mean i heard someone else say she said this. That's ware i get all my information, from second hand sources. Just like major news networks. Check the disclaimers people! (i also got that information from from a second hand source)) I mean in the 6th book, the first chapter seems to be there only to confirm that the British prime minister thinks some president is an idiot.
None of this makes me think she should die. No. She has to die so her books become glorious beacons. oh now they are popular yes.... IMAGINE IF SHE DIED BEFORE THE 7th BOOK CAME OUT?! I mean there's still a chance for her to let us down, for the ending to be lame beyond imagination. But no, if she dies... if some fan, or suicide or disease gets her good. Well then, the ending will always be a mystery, the fan stories will be insane, the post huminous novels made of her notes equally so. She will forever live as a goddess in our world's memory!
If she writes it and ruins it... well then.... she'll fall and suck and die...
But one way not to ruin the book is very simple. It should go like this...
*for those that dislike spoilers... uh... don't read rants about books your going to read*
*Also don't continue reading this rant, sense it has spoilers*
*you know the ones, spoooilers*
*it spoils a few things.*
*just things about deaths, I'm sure most of you already know them*
*but they are spoilers, so think twice*
*Spoilers.*
Harry, overly depressed over the death of people, gets much more angsty. He begins to cut himself regularly and write bad poetry. He wares more Gothic clothing and his girlfriend does everything she can for him because she's afraid he'll kill himself. Then, what's this? An evil plot arises, harry, not listening to any sort of reason FLINGS HIMSELF UPON THE EVIL! and ends up in a last battle against lord voldermort. But what's this? at the last moment snape comes in, with a beautiful woman in tow. Why, it is Harry's mom, who never died but mearly fell into a eternally clich sleep. "Harry! I've come back and I've brought dumbledoor and serius!" who bust in tag team style waving there wands and kicking voldermort ass. Well maybe not dumbledoor he did get BLASTED INTO THE AIR. (most elegantly written death scene ever) but serious will be back. I mean he did the harry potter version of falling off a cliff. I mean really. HE FELL OFF A CLIFF. So they come back... harry wonders ware his dad is, his one shinning glory. The man who was friends with serious, the man that he always believes he can count on to give him guidance.
The one he has inner monologues about always loving and blah blah blah... oh no harry, we hid this from you, for so long. Voldermort totally goes "I AM YOUR FATHER!" and everyone gets really embarrassed. You know, sense they just totally got told. So everyone is embarrassed and harry gets sad and starts cutting himself again, and writing even more angsty poetry. He's far to depressed now so nevill has to kill the dark lord. You know, sense it's all foreshadowed and stuff. HA. he has fulfilled the proficy and voldermort dies, as harry whines about his angst and how he always loved his dad but his dad is evil. Dumbledoor will give him a very motivational speech about how he can still love his dad, and the memory and legend he built up in his own mind, that's what legends are for, that's what stories are for. And his dad was a good man once upon a time, he can love that man. He will completely ignore nevil and the other characters and only focus on harry. Regardless of how important or deservent of attention the other characters are.
Voldermort will dramatically rise from his grave. being evil he can not die, and start to slither away, being all evil and snakelike (harry will also angst over this) oh and if your wondering how harry almost died? his dad tried to kill him and his mom stopped him you know, all according to the legend duh. Anyways, he's escaping and heromine totally just kicks his ass, coming out of no ware. And absorbs his powers, becoming the ultimate new lord. THE DARK QUEEN HERMOINE... FADE OUT.
So either JK rowling dies, or she has that ending. And she will be a goddess forever. I hope she dies.
*LOL*
I'm not sure if Sam is going to kill you with death or die laughing. 
~Rico
So, will the title of this book be called "Harry Potter and the Last Battle of Emo?"
~Neo
...okay.
Interesting. Funny, but interesting.
Local Harry fans, you've been warned.
That's why Frank Herbert was killed.
Pancreatic cancer, my foot.
Whoa! Was half expecting talk of the Force, lightsabers, Darth whatever etc with all this talk about a Dark lord!
Never felt the need to read any Harry Potter books. To be honest, I'm sick of hearing about the guy.
A question: when you say Voldemort's name, do things break like that episode of The Grim Adventures Of Billy and Mandy with Lord Mouldybutt and Nigel Planter?
Anyway, JK Rowling dying before her latest book is finished would be something. No doubt a competition will be held by Blue Peter or something where kids have the oppurtunity to write an ending for the unfinished book.
How many little girls will write that Harry ends up marrying them?
Did Jk rowling really say that or are you making it up?
I mean, I've heard people muttering things very like it in pubs, but usually when their drunk or just after bad news concerning Iraq/Afghanistan/Anti terror laws/Something else stupid Goerge Bush has done/Anyhing really and their just one handed comments that dont really mean anything?
Um... I didn't get any of that. O_o But I don't care about Harry Potter in the least bit, so I think I'll leave it up to someone else to decipher.
And did you mean to use all those wrong words, Vortex? Because I was giggling endlessly over that. XD Dumbledoor and Serious.
A question: when you say Voldemort's name, do things break like that episode of The Grim Adventures Of Billy and Mandy with Lord Mouldybutt and Nigel Planter?
No, but pwople fear to use his name, so they call him "You Know Who," or "He Who Must Not Be Named," or "the Dark Lord." They also cringe whenever they hear the name spoken. Harry and his mentor, Dumbledore, advocate the use of his name because, as Dumbledore says, "Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."
I would suggest you give the books a try. I mean, the hype is obnoxious, but the books themselves are really quite good.
Dude, that was hilarious! That whole thing you made up! I think you should be a writer or something!
Oh dear lord. This is what you were talking about earlier.
...ROFLMAO. Wouldn't that be something to see though? Hermione the Evil of all Evil. She could destroy everything in her path o.o
Your writings never cease to amaze and amuse me. ^^
~Shadowed Spirit Sage
LMAO that's funny. Funnyfunnyfunny.
But really, I think she should die. 😐
I always thought Harry Potter kind of blew. I'm not fond of anything with that much advertising, the kind that goes quite simply,
"OMG! IT'S HARRY POTTER! READ!"
It's not just that her books are like reading six Roald Dahl books in a row. I don't know what it IS, but her work just doesn't get me as orgasmic as other people do over it.
Never compare JK Rowling to Roald Dahl ever again.
LOL!!!
Lol! Loved your rendition of the seventh book, and the point about her dying making the books more popular is very true.
Quote:
I've heard her say things like ... "no American character will ever show up in my books i hate America and all it stands for."
The quote you're thinking of is from the interview Rowling Thunder by Jeff Jensen, in the August 4, 2000 issue of Entertainment Weekly.
Will we ever see Harry in America?
Unlikely. The battleground is Britain at the moment. I got asked the other day, "Given the huge success of your books in America, are you going to be introducing American characters?" And I thought, You're an idiot. I am not about to throw away 10 years' meticulous planning in the hope that I will buck up to a few more readers. American kids have no need to see a token American character. This is another instance of people grossly underestimating children.
It doesn't seem anti-American to me, so much as, "I'm not going to go out of my way to cater to an American audience."
*shrug*
Quote:
I mean in the 6th book, the first chapter seems to be there only to confirm that the British prime minister thinks some president is an idiot.
Oh, you mean this?
"It was nearing midnight and the Prime Minister was sitting alone in his office, reading a long memo that was slipping through his brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind. He was waiting for a call from the President of a far distant country, and between wondering when the wretched man would telephone, and trying to suppress unpleasant memories of what had been a very long, tiring, and difficult week, there was not much space in his head for anything else."
First off, she never mentions the president of which country, and secondly, the whole paragraph exists to show that the Prime Minister is staying up late, having a bad week, and is generally overworked and stressed. He's going to be thinking about everything and everyone in unflattering terms. Besides, if you were the Prime Minister, you'd be annoyed by foreign politicians you were forced to wrangle with constantly, regardless of your thoughts on the citizenry represented. It's natural to be pissed off at "people from work." This doesn't mean the PM, or JK Rowling, is anti-American in general.
Hell, if I had a case, I'd be more willing to argue that JK Rowling were anti-French or anti-Slavic...
😛
(Reads vortex's post)
If only...
Personally, I think she should die for outselling Pratchett 
.
More seriously, I do read the books. Although I disliked the 5th one, attacking them too much'd be hypocritical of me...
Meh, to each their own. I find the books to be entertaining and accessible pulp, far less of a waste of paper than Tom Clancy and his ilk, while not necessarily thought-provoking or revolutionary. I figure anything that's got the kids reading is a good thing, even if it's nothing tremendous -- fact is, if you're reading at a young age, then you're that much more likely to move on to more mature and intelligent books as you grow and, ultimately, live a literate life, instead of a life of servitude perched before the boob tube.
