you are welcome to the hallowed grounds of ChibiBecca's training grounds, handily located in her Fortress O'Doom near the SPA!
*walks onto the mat, spork in belt*
well then, let's begin. line up all of you!
*strides to the mat and stands in the center, facing you all*
hmm.. o.-
dojo! the first thing you must learn is the rules!
*ahem*
Rule number one: do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!
Rule number two: respect the Spork Fu master! *points to herself, in that case that this is mis-understood*
Rule number three: do not spork and chew gum at the same time!
Rule number four: your spork is a highly versitile and respected weapon. treat it well, but remember that you may also eat your tacos/noodles/etc with it.
but do not forget..
Rule number five: respect the spork!
*turns on her heel, marches back along the line of the curious forumers now gathered on the mat, grabs and points her spork at them.*
many of you may not survive long enough to get to the level i have. it takes many years of practise, practise and eating noodles! but even learning the basics may be of great benifit to your lives!
*then points to where a row of wooden practise sporks have been lined up against the wall*
if you wish to join for a beginners class, please pick up a spork and kneel back on the mat! meditate the rules i've set before you! the spork fu master has spoken!
*kneels, places her spork of moderating beside her and closes her eyes* chocolaaaaate~ chocolaaaaate~ ~.~ omm~
Chibi: i know spork fu! ^^
Morpheus: Show me.
*picks up a wooden spork and falls asleep on the mat*
2004, you sporked me good.
2005, I sporked you back.
2006, I will be your apprentice *takes a training spork and kneels before Becca*
*eats his spork and throw noodles at his oppenent*
Mwha!
Hrm.. Spork-fu huh? ::Grabs his own Spork he's held onto for years:: No, this is my best friend! I eat all my Beef Stew with it.
Chibi: Are you getting uppity with the Master?
DL: O.o..No. I'm just saying...I'm not using no practice spork!
HOLY CRAP! MULLET!!!
(strikes with his spork) Careful, mullet of malcontent! I have a green belt in Spork-Fu, given to me by the True Master herself!
yeah yeah yeah. I'll learn the spork-thing after, but where are these noodles of which you speak?
(Congrats on the 7k as well :P)
green belt? have you snuck into one of my classes before? >>
*ahem!* o.- settle down, dojo!
eating your spork is not showing it respect. you do not eat the spork, you eat with the spork! there is no spoon!
okay students, your attention please!
*bangs the end of her spork's handle on the ground, creating a dull 'thud!' to attract your attention. stands..pulling her chibi self up to it's full hight of about two foot! a mighty hight, greater then that of yoda!*
now you shall learn how to use the spork! please hold your weapon in your preferred sporking hand!
*hoists up her spork in her left hand*
now, i must tell you that spork fu is a secret and deadly art.. use it wisely! non-wise use shall lead to more exposure of the superbowl LNR image, or perhaps even a cheerleader version!
now, i shall show the basic moves! obverse closely, there will be a test later!
*stabs the air before her with a almighty HAH!* basic move number one! the deadly poke!
*steps to one side and swings her spork around as if hitting someone on the side of the head* ragh! basic move number two! the deadly thwap!
*moves her spork obove her head and swings it downwards* huzzah! basic move number three! the deadly bop!
*rests her spork against the ground and leans on it* please spread out and practise. marks will be deducted if you 'accidently on purpose' spork a fellow learner. 
i shall be oberving your moves closely.
*Selects three sporks from training rack, holds one in each hand, and then performs each move simultaneously*
Hmm...
*Rotates which hand performs which move*
Interesting...
*Tries third combination*
There seems to be a certain effectiveness in this. Perhaps if the spork gained sharper points, it could truly be a lethal weapon
*Wanders off scheming*
..you have three hands? o.o;
oi, return those sporks! i had to go especially to ikea to get those! (true story, they're the 'BOKA' range. 😛 )
*brandishes her Taco Bell spork*
Do you need help, master? I shall train them alongside you!
*twirls hers*
Tergonaut picked up one of the wooden sporks and hefted it. Yes, it felt like a fine implement both for fighting and for food. He approached Chibi-Becca, and though a full four feet taller than the miniscule master, he bowed out of respect for her position...and for her skills.
Soon he found himself practicing the basic techniques on the mat he was assigned to, making sure there was enough space between himself and the other students. This to him was no funny business, it was the practice of not only a style of combat, but a way of living.
Of living with no spoons...
*admires sporks* Been years since I've used one of those!^^; (seriously...I think the last time I ate with a spork was in middle school o0)
*decides to watch the Spork Fu class!*
(congrats for the kilopost!^^)
*Parry, jab! Thwack, thwack, bop!*
Ok... I think I'm ready
*Beat picks up*
...Jab! Thwack! It's all in the mind! If you wanna test me, I'm sure you'll find, the things I'll teach ya are sure to beatcha, nevertheless you get a lesson from teacher now
Jab, Jab, Thwack!
*Jab, Jab, Thwack!*
Jab, Thwack and Bop it!
*Jab, Thwack and Bop it!*
Now jab to the side...
*Jab to the side*
Thwack, Thwack, Bop!
*Thwack, Thwack, Bop!*
i'm not giving you spork fu lessions so you can maul me later on. *bop*
well done everyone, that's some first class flailing, bopping, thwacking and jabbing i'm seeing here! sensai is pleased!
*takes a spork, bow* Teach me the ways of the mighty spork, sensei Becca. o.o
Quote:
you do not eat the spork, you eat with the spork! there is no spoon!
omg lol
Quote:
..you have three hands? o.o;
What, doesn't everyone? 
Just something I don't make too big a deal of. Comes in useful though... (and for those who know latin, my name may make slightly more sense, although I freely admit the translation is far from accurate...)
*Returns the sporks* I took the liberty of copying the design of such advanced weaponry. It shall now be added to my arsenal, after suitable manufacture.
*picks up a spork, and decides to try and practice*
Let's see, now...
*handles it clumsily due to the fact that she's a chao*
*hits herself on the head*
*drops the spork and holds her throbbing head* Ow...
(I think I may be a little late, but congrats on the 7k, Becca!)
Taking his own weapon into his right hand, the plastic amalgan was tested for durability before being swung around. DL was pleased with his choice, and began.
A thrust forward, followed by silence. The first manuvear was as simple as any. He just wasn't a shouter of short one word phrases.
From that position, his sidestep mirrored that of a speed step, lifting him in the air slightly, as his arm traveled to the right. He reversed his whole motion, completing one to the left as well. "A good way to spork two people's heads if I was surrounded, it seems."
Throwing his arm over his head, the almightl weapon came crashing down-stopped only by sheer will. A powerful manuvear, that bop could be.
Satisfied, he stuffed the spork in his pocket-point down-and leaned against the wall, seeing when the class would continue.
He was having fun
D">
{Second note: Agrees with Psx's Comment! xD}
(Fetches backscratcher)
Heh... I have reach....
*wakes up and tries to fall back asleep because of all the noise*
*stands up*
*does the three demonstrated moves*
*bows to sensei*
*falls back asleep*
Spork-fu lessons? Sign me up!
*picks up spork*
*starts poking, thwapping, and bopping at the air*
This is fun! Teach me more, sensei!
And congrats on reaching your 7K.
*takes a bow* thank you for your congrats. ^.^
*claps her hands* dojo! your attention!
..*waits until she gets that attention*
...*taps her foot*
OI! >.@
*ah, there we go!*
next, i want you to pair off and practise attacking and defending! but first, you must learn good manners towards each other!
*gestures with her spork, swinging it around to slash the air*
before anything, you bow! for the person first attacking..this means, 'i shall attack you, but i mean you no ill will!'.
for the person fending off that attack, the bow means, 'i will not kill you in defending myself!'
so always bow, it is showing respect! oo
*whispers to the chao-sized people* you may hold it in both hands/paws if the spork is proving difficult for you to hold. ^^;
*glances off to one side to see if her side-plot is working* >>;
*runs in late*
I got a KFC spork, is this ok to start training with or is it a bit too sharp?
*ankle still hurting from earlier sporking*
congrats on your 7k 😀
He crouched in the shadows just outside the area where the students of the "almighty" Spork-fu were busy going about their silly little clumsy training.His hands wrapped around the mightiest of weapons, an unholy backwards union of utensils that was never intended to be... The FOON.
He leaned forward slightly, holding the Foon out for balance, its satanic presense strengthening him whilst draining away that very thing that made him human.
Soon it would be time to strike, and his mission to wipe all followers of the way of the spork from the face of the universe forever would be complete, nothing and noone standing before his foon, cut down like blades of grass before the whirling blades of the lawnmower.
He braced himself, and with a low, guttural animal growl prepared to leap forward.
It was time.
*She sneek, sneek, sneekily sneeks amoung the discarded sneakers!*
I shall steal their soles while they distract themselves. The plan is perfect! Yesyes. ^_*
Oh, and socks!
And wallets!
And, and..
O_>!
Ooo-! FOON!!
*Attaches to Wonderbat's left earlobe.* ^___+!!
*waits for someone to pair up with him*
*sits in a comfy chair practising Spork Fu*
Deadly Poke! Hoo!
Deadly Thwap! Haa!
Deadly Bop! Hwakasha!
*falls back to sleep with one eye open*
(congrats on 7k sensei.)
Does anyone have a spare spork I can borrow?
*tosses Sam an extra spork*
*continues poking and thwaping at the air*
*swings spork experimentally*
I've never handled one of these before - although I've watched sensei at work a few times...
*tries flailing the spork around after retrieving a new one to relace the now half digested one*
Hmmm...it's pretty sweet, good balance...
*replaces the spork on the rack*
But it's not for me, I'm afraid my disipline still lies with the plastic halloween devil pitchfork, it has the flexibility and reach I require for proper buttock thwapping.
*bows to the spork fu master*
Thank you, I must leave now, but we will meet again...
Ban me from your dojo! I don't need you! I'll build my own dojo! With hookers, and blackjack... and...
Ah sod it, I'm going to listen to Rush in the moonlight.
i think that concludes the class for now. ^^
dojo! sensai is greatly pleased with your efforts!
*produces a tray of cookies* i'll trade one in return for my practise sporks, thankyou.
for anyone still interested in learning, you may practise in this training room. just make sure you're wearing protective gear should you wish to use more then just a training spork!
*bows* ^^
*gives the spork back to Sensei and takes a cookie* *Bow.*
*bows*
*gives back spork and takes a cookie*
*takes a cookie* That was a most exciting lesson, sensei. *bows and returns the spork*
no problem, i'll have to give another lession sometime. ^^
I think I'll keep my spork and take a cookie. *does so and flees* *runs back* *bows* Thank you for the class sensei. *flee again*
*plots to get him later on*..>>
ahah lol
*Takes a Spork, and does a three-hit PSO style combo on a training dummy*
Am I ready for Ultimate, Becca-San?
you are gyser, but you've already snuck into an earlier class of mine. 😛 so you've had previous sporking experiance!
But my Sporking skills will never compare to yours master...
*Secretly grinds his Spork to +27* 
*has a sharpened spork that could shave, it's just that sharp.* o.o
*practices on UltimateShadow1337*
IS that good enough? >>
*currently owns 8 large wooden/plastic sporks, handfuls of KFC sporks (they're deadly!) and several other sporks that include a sneeky foldable spork*
it could shave? you mean the sides are sharp? that'd lower it's uses to eat with, but give it a cutting edge. hmhm. oo
*her modding spork is already grinded to +50. her golden adminning spork is +99, but not equippable in the MoFo.*
o.o Well, the points are about that sharp. Just a metaphor.
Still. Sporking is fun. ^^
yeah, just don't practise on the newbies too much.. oo *prod*
Quote:
handfuls of KFC sporks (they're deadly!)
Not only KFC's, but Taco Bell's sporks as well. My sister and I sometimes have spork fights on occasion when we eat there.
