http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=6d8134fbbe964d76f864b3b9682dcb19
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Czech Republic--At 8:14 a.m. on Nov. 29, Joshua Anson Ballard posted his final bulletin on the Internet social-networking site MySpace.com. Ballard, who took the online identity "you BROKE my LIFE," followed his subject line, "do me a favore [sic] ....", with a body that read:
"call the police.
Address ... Abadejo, Mission Viejo, CA 92692.
tell them to go down the hall to the bathrooom.
im soo sorry<3"
About 15 minutes later, according to the Orange County coroner's office, Josh, 17, killed himself with a gunshot to the head. Within minutes, MySpace, which promotes social interaction among young people and is popular with teenagers, was alight with messages about the suicide. Here in Prague, I saw a note about Josh on MySpace and checked it out.
By 10 p.m. the night of his death, Josh was being eulogized.
He killed himself over a girl "and other things," writes Flower King Of Flies on MySpace, who says the death was preventable. "This could of ben stoped," he says via a Myspace comment page that has become Josh's memorial. "All the people that knew didnt do @#%$. i had a good time with u in ceramics. f--- all your friends that did nothing."
So it goes, Josh's life splayed out on the black backdrop he'd created as his space.
According to his words, Josh loved "girls who cry"; was married; was 8 feet, 11 inches tall and made $250,000 a year or more. Josh was a smartass. He posted self-portraits that featured him at his emo-kid best: shaggy hair, pouting lips, intentionally blank expression. He posted an ad for a clothing company called Emo Police that featured a man hanging from the P.
Emo, a 20-year-old sub-genre of punk rock, didn't kill Josh, even if emo songs are mostly un-ironic paeans to self-pity. Kids kill themselves whether they listen to country or classical. The death-trip soundtrack can easily be Snoop Dogg or Slayer; on Josh's page, it's Senses Fail.
Josh wanted. He sought attention by posting surveys in his blog with categories like "Would you ..." and questions like "stick up for me if I was being put down?" In another, he queried friends as to whether they loved him, had crushes on him, etc. The surveys, common among Myspace teenagers, mean little more than that the kid dug compliments. Craved 'em.
Sixty-two times he was eulogized -- sometimes with just one line, sometimes with just a word -- in the first 17 hours. "i'm speechless," wrote Kelsey, a 17-year-old from San Juan Capistrano who enjoys "good times." "Rest in peace, Josh." Rach, who posted seven farewells in those hours, told him, "It says you broke my life - well you broke ours."
I didn't know Josh, should never have. Wouldn't have, had a former source in Idaho not posted a bulletin from her Myspace account. "this is the most horrible thing i've ever seen," Tori'd headlined it, using haphazard Myspace capitalization. "Honestly," wrote the former Orange County teen who'd received it as a forward from a friend. "It will make you sick to your stomach." I read it, braced for some banal but benign forwarded joke.
Now I know Josh, know that his friend YOUR KISSES MAKE MY HEART STOP says he was the happiest guy around. He protected her from mean guys at school, protected her from spiders, always told her to smile. "unfortunatly we had a scary about 4 days ago he atemted suicid and failed we were all on his back ever since but this mornig right before school he posted this on a bulliton ..." she wrote me. "as soon as my friend rach saw that she told mimi and mimis mom call the police and drove up to his house (they live 1 street up from each other) she found it was to late. if i could telll josh one thing is that i love you and i wish that you could have send the people that hold you dear to there hearts. you always seid that nothing is as bad as it seem."
Kids type quicker than they think. They bleed words, don't contrive them, and, even if I disdain Net-speak, I have the luxury of never needing to type so frantically. Immersed in his requiem, not 30 hours after he did what he did, I know Joshua Anson Ballard. With his suicide announced on an Internet bulletin, his life remembered in a series of hastily typed prose that comes in blurbs and missives, and his loved ones handling their grieving through instant messages and blogs, will forever words be left on his Web page rather than coins or roses on his grave? We'll have to visit every Nov. 29.
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So.... yeah. Kid posted his damn "suicide note" on the internet. Not too smart, especially since he's now the butt of various internet jokes. His MySpace account was even hacked, I heard.
...there's a lot that could be said of this, but I can't bring myself to cover it all.
So I'll just say that I can't believe someone would let their last words end in an emoticon.
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Not too smart, especially since he's now the butt of various internet jokes.
Not the least of which is the new YTMND "myspace suicide" fad.
I dunno about you all, though, but I found the Hitler one amusing. Of course, this was before I learned of the REAL suicide, but still.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
That, and he worsened it by putting his suicide note on the internet.
I know this is in bad taste, but... He's a loser. There's nothing worth suicide. Nothing, regardless of whether you're Christian or not, though I suppose my Christian beliefs do have an influence on my stance against suicide.
...Mighta been different in Feudal Japan, but this isn't Feudal Japan. It's sad that this kid died, but he really shouldn't have even considered it.
If you're looking for attention, seeking help... YOU DON'T POST IT ON MYSPACE. You go see a counselor. Talk with your parents, or friends. Not post it on a blog site where people can and will make fun of you.
There was a YTMND depicting how his MySpace account was hacked but I think it was deleted, probably from so many people complaining how pathetic the act was.
Whoo! One less emo.
And thats all i got to say.
Now, if only we could get the rest of their suicide threats real and not empty...
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So I'll just say that I can't believe someone would let their last words end in an emoticon.
Ditto. That's just... words fail me.
If only stupidity was fatal...
~Rico
I think it's kind of fitting that MySpace was his final resting place.
Why?
~Rico
That doesn't even make sense. MySpace wasn't his final resting place--his final resting place--as of this moment, anyway--is a plot of dirt in a cemetary.
Took me quite a while to believe this was true, as his account is still active even after the suicide and the news posts linked were either highly unproffessional or contained the exact same text. I guess I believe it now and I don't really care.
People commit suicide every day and for much more important reasons than a girl dumping them, if some selfish attention craving kid wants to end it all and put his family and friends through misery because of one failed relationship he doesn't DESERVE any homage, attention or respect. I wish the internet would shut up about him.
Suicide pisses me off. I couldn't care less about this kid.
Suicide is just a quick way out...it lets the victim off easy and leaves the survivors left to wonder why...Maybe it's just me, but I can't understand why anyone would want to end their life...it just seems so pointless and so selfish...I have a little (and by little I mean 11 years between me and them) brother and sister. If there is one thing that would ever prevent me from committing suicide, it would be them...I couldn't live with myself (shut up...no pun intended) for all the pain and emotional distress my death would put them through.
Life (in general) sucks... The world seems to be out to get us. Life is a struggle. But there are things in life that remind us that there is much more than just pain...the warm smile of a friend or even a complete stranger.
As my faith tells me, and as I believe; Every life is precious and has meaning, from the unborn baby to the dying elderly person to the person stuck in a vegatative state.
ps. wow craig...that's cold
ps. wow craig...that's cold
Well excuse me for not encouraging the world to moarn the death of a selfish kid who took his own life and posted about it on the freakin' internet for attention!
Do you have ANY idea what message that puts out to the friends who read? If you're a darkly depressed kid and you see the entire damn internet moarning over some nobody in Orange County, what are they going to think about their supposedly worthless life. This kind of reaction is just comforting to suicidals and lets them know that if they are hated in this life, people will be all regretful and know how great and wonderful they were after they commit suicide online and the world acknowledges their existance.
Screw that. Screw them. Screw suicide. If ANYONE with a family and friends takes their own life, they don't deserve a funeral or ANY homage/respect. ESPECIALLY if it's over a girlfriend. I mean I'd have SOME sympathy if someone died, or their life was a living hell for some reason, but no. Selfish git, can you imagine how the girl must be feeling? She's probably getting flamed to kingdom come over e-mail by the MySpace moarners and is seeing it become a news story which WILL elevate I promise that.
If I'm to feel sorry for anyone in this case, it's the boys family (especially her poor mother who was phoned and rushed home to find her son with his head blown open in the bathroom) and that girl who's obviously going to have a very very hard time in the future.
The kid is just an attention whoring git, he took his fricken user photo in the bathroom, uploaded it, posted the message, returned to the bathroom and did the deed. I don't care WHAT kind of cry for attention that is, it's SICK and CRUEL. I don't wish him dead nor am I glad he is. But FOR HEAVENS SAKE! What the hell possesses a person to do that?! He may aswell have murdered his entire family for all he did there. Suicide note, ok. But just leaving a "call the police" to people on the internet, after taking enough time to take a picture of the suicide spot?!
What an arse. I hate people who commit suicide and think people should shut up and forget him, lest we encourage copy cats who want their own bit of fame and glory in the afterlife.
I agree with Craig.
Everyone is taking this whole suicide thing way too far. The boy was a coward, plain and simple. He killed himself over a girl. What was wrong with the guy? Why would anyone kill themselves over a girl? If he wanted to take the coward's way out, fine, but don't give him the attention he's getting.
I don't care how cold it seems, but I can't bring myself to feel any sympathy for someone who willing takes their own life, regardless of the circumstances. What about the people who are left behind? The ones who will have to live with that decision? The ones who will have to clean up afterwards? It's a sad day when someone is given a hero's mourning for something so cowardly as taking their life over a girl.
*again, agrees with Kayla and Craig*
Life is sacred, even Craigs. Do one of two things: be mournful and sad or be silent and ignore it. Attacking like a rabid sega fanboy at archie headquaters is, well, to quote Samuel Clemens, "It is better be silent and let others think you a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
~Rico
I think it's sad that the kid died, but to commit suicide over a girl? Not cool.
And the kid's family/friends shouldn't have to go through this, either. Because that is also NOT COOL. 
That's just my opinion, anyway.
*leaves*
Suicide is about a total lack of coping skills when the pain becomes too much. I think it's rather ridiculous of us to say that a breakup "wasn't worth" suicide. Obviously nothing is "worth" suicide. I used to be really cynical of people who had suicidal thoughts, but I've been through alot (that you would probably not consider worthy of suicidal thoughts) in the last couple of months that has really changed my opinion about depression and suicide. Would I kill myself? No, because I have alot of support from wonderful friends and family. Do I understand feeling comforted by the thought of death? Yes.
Keep in mind I am in my twenties (no longer a teenager) and most people think I am a very enthusiastic person IRL and online. Sometimes it just feels like I can't bear to be awake any longer because I feel so anxious and empty.
Yea, I've heard of the suicide kid and more or less, I agree with Craig. I ain't big on suicide either and it's a rather poor choice to make over something like a girl. I rather he continued moaning and groaing pathetically then taking his own life.
~Neo
I just believe people should enjoy life. Sure, death will come eventually, but the thing is that you've had fun and you're happy, you know?
This is actually pretty funny, if you ask me.
Craig was spot on the money here.
Give THIS boy a Darwin Award, please!
Rico - mostly because of what Craig said. Someone being overdramatic and then posting about it on the internet - that's what MySpace is for. And in this case it just happened to be about a kid who killed himself. Situations differ, but the general feeling behind MySpace stays the same.
How do things like this make the news? HOW?!
I don't agree with alot of things that have been said here.
There is one thing, with which I do agree; yes, Suicide is a cowardly way out, and in the end, only hurts people around you, in turn, making you selfish.
However, it doesn't give anyone an excuse to pull out the jerk-like sides of themselves, and use the the fact that it was suicide to totally neglect the fact that someone died.
I've been there, feeling depressed/suicidal. And I knew how suicide can effect the people around me; but it doesn't make you suddenly ignore the things around you that are making you hurt. You can poke, prod, insult, and jest all you want, but there are people out there, just like this kid, who do feel pain, and do feel like it's their only way out, which is not something that should be on the receiving end of a joke. Maybe he did take things too far; in fact, yes, he did. But it's a life lost, no matter how it happened. He had friends, he had family, and he had people that loved him. Just because it was suicide gives nobody the right to disrespect him.
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This is actually pretty funny, if you ask me.
It wouldn't be, if it happened to someone you cared about, would it?
Oh, and by the way;
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Whoo! One less emo.
And thats all i got to say.
Now, if only we could get the rest of their suicide threats real and not empty...
Whoo! One more person on this planet who thinks you're a heartless jerk.
Wake up. It's not cool anymore, to act like an idiot.
That's all I've got to say.
Wake up.
Y'know they murdered 'X, tried to blame it on Islam.
Ya know what? I think this is kind of sad. All of it. His death, your remarks. I'm actually kind of shocked.
Craig was just insane about this thing. Not what I was expecting out of his mouth.
I agree that suicide is a kind of easy way out, and it makes me mad in a way, but he actually killed himself. He snacked on bullet, and you're all going around and shootin' your mouths off and @#%$ about it. That isn't right. Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with suicide, it happened, and it's still a tragedy.
Now I go with Geo on the emo thing. I don't like the emo fad, I think it's lame (like all fads), and I would like nothing better than to see the fad itself die, but I don't hate the emos themselves for two reasons:
1) I don't associate with them
2) I try not to generalize
But this was a real living, breathing person. Somebody with a heart and feelings (apparently, since he alledgedly killed himself over some girl). Someone with compassion.
I don't even know this kid. Never talked to him, seen him, or knew anybody that did know him, but that doesn't mean I can't be sorrowful about his absence. It was a loss, and that's that.
You don't have to mourn or eulogize, but don't go off hating a kid you don't even know just because the last thing he did was the stupidest thing anybody could do.
Infact. Sod it. I'm not wasting my breath.
erhem..
*hugs Craig*
~Rico
sounds like the kid just needed some good friends who wernt online. Seems like the internet is the most persuasive tool nowadays, because kids tend to rather listen to what they read than their parents. and who can blame them? when your parents are divorced, who's to say theyre right anyhow? seems like they made a mistake themselves. maybe if the kids parents were more worried about him then he would have had second thoughts.
Before I start, I want to clear up that Wonderbat seems generalize on the emo thing. Or maybe he just hates the fad itself like me, but the way he writes it makes it sounds like he hates the people sucked in by the mindless fad.
Anyway, I've looked at it from different points of view before. His and his family's. And I have to call you an idiot for thinking he didn't have his family in mind.
Lemme ask you something Craig. Are you suicidal? My guess (this is a guess, mind you) is that you aren't. You seem like a pretty cheery guy until things like this set you off like a fire-cracker.
Well I have almost attempted suicide. I know what you're probably thinking: "ALMOST ATTEMPTED?!" Yes. I was pretty close to doing it.
Then I thought for a little bit. I asked myself if it was worth it. Asked myself what would happen if I were to do this. What would become of my mom? My friends? Would I be missed? Where do I go after I kill myself?
Then I put down the knife and picked up a bible. And I haven't had another thought of it since. ((This was all a long time ago by the way))
But I know this kids position all to well. He was just too weak to stop himself from making the ultimate decision.
And we can't just say that he killed himself over some Lauren girl. What if it was a bunch of things? Being picked on too much, low self-esteem, no self confidence, being dumped.
And what if his family wasn't what you think it was? What if they were a bunch of drunk, abusive bastards who couldn't care less about the guy.
I realize all these things are stoopid reasons to kill yourself, but what if all that was going on in his life and the pressure became too much? That may have been enough or more for him
Think about that for a little while Craig and get back to me. This could turn out to be an intelligent discussion discussion instead of a tasteless argument.
See Rico's post below...
I'll say this once, he stepped back and removed his post, you do the same. No sarcasm, don't @#%$ around on this.
~Rico
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It wouldn't be, if it happened to someone you cared about, would it?
Actually, it probably would be. What you find funny, someone else may not. What someone else finds funny, you may not. There's no such thing as a universal reaction to any situation.
Hmmm, so...
It's a suicide for a seemingly trivial reason. Plenty of them are in western society.
It's also a death of a young person, which is usually tragic. Even if they killed themselves for a trivial reason.
I'm not inclined to laugh at this whole business, or sneer at it. Mind you, this may be because someone I vaguely knew once also committed suicide, and that does tend to change one's perspective.
Yes, this is a stupid and pointless business. I'm not really inclined to blame it entirely on the kid, but I'm not really inclined to blame anything else much.
(Wanders off)
Oh I'm inclined to blame the kid. But I'm not about to be apathic about it. I really don't think you should ever trivialize a life.
~Rico
Posting his note on MySpace seems like an attempt at getting attention, but people usually don't kill themselves over little things like a break-up. Something had to be psychologically wrong with this kid.
I'm appalled at the heartlessness of some of the comments in this thread.
It's simple, some people that have been there or especially been that route with loved ones are going to habor bad feelings for people that would hurt the people around them by killing themselves.
I really shouldn't have fired off at those people (Even if luke did it worse), sorry on that one. Maybe next time I'll think about both sides before talking. Then it won't be blocked by my foot and come out my ass.
~Rico
I might sound mean saying this but... If this kid was trying to get attention online, he was going the totally worng way. You get attention by sapmming in unneccesary topics on a message board. This is a tried and tested method tested for you by, thegamecuberules!
