Papirini Productions Presents.....

In Association with Eat Babies Inc. And Others......

The Mystery of The Century.......

The Task of A Lifetime........

The Boardroom That Shocked a Nation....

And DOMO DOMO DOMO-KUN!!!

THE APPRENTICE
And The Plot to Kill Hitler: A Chatroom Experience to Remember

The following is just like a real Apprentice episode. Yup, exactly like one. Which means most people on this board won't watch it. :p

PROLOGUE

The two remaining contestants - Domo-kun, a Wharton, Harvard, and Whupdeheck graduate lawyer log thingy, and the agent, known as "Wesu" (for their identity shall be known later) enter the boardroom past Robin, the receptionist with their suitcases.

Carolyn and George - Mr. Trump's assistants - sit quietly, slumped in their chairs. This is so because someone has shot them both at point blank range in the head to silence their opposition. "Wesu" claims to know nothing as he puts his gun away. Domo-kun glares at "Wesu".

Their task had been to kill Hitler; they had failed, while the other team, team Evil Admin, had successfully assassinated a random leader in history using a rubber duckie and Evil Jinsoki's spiky hair, and in doing so had won a chance to appear on the History Channel as Civil War re-enactors. Now, one of these two losers will be fired for their incompetence, while the other shall be going back up to the suite.

Finally, Mr. Trump comes in and sits in his big comfy chair, and dialogue begins.....the following really happened and was SO not scripted for ratings......

BEGIN: PART 1

Trump: Now. What exactly went wrong here?
Domo: DOMO-KUN! DOMO-KUN HATE TASK!
Wesu: It was domokuns fault
Domo: DOMO-KUN WINNER!
Wesu: He is anti-semetic D:
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN! DOMO-KUN FRIEND TO ALL! DOMO-KUN HATE YOU!
Trump: Domo-Kun, Wesu disgrees with you. Why is that?
Wesu: bend over
Domo: DOMO-KUN SAY, WESU HATE ME! WESU NOT SECURE GUN! WESU NOT TALK TO BOOM STICK PEOPLE!
Trump: Wesu, is this true?
Wesu: That is absolutely unequivocally untrue. Domokun is just a anime furry nerd
Wesu: Trying to cut me
Wesu: bcuz im azn
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT NERD!
Wesu: Or mexican. One of those
Domo: DOMO-KUN SAVE TOM HANKS ON BEACH!
Wesu: DOMOKUN IS NUDIST! DOMOKUN STREAKS IN FRONT OF CHILDREN kthx
Domo: DOMO-KUN HAS FUR!

Domo pound pound pound

Trump: Is this relevant to your task?
Domo: NO!
Domo: DOMO-KUN TALK TO RED PEOPLE!
Wesu: It most certaintly is, Mr Trump.
Domo: DOMO-KUN MARCH INTO CITY! DOMO-KUN SAVE JEWS!
Wesu: At the end of the day
Domo: DOMO-KUN HERO!

Wesu says this 5 more times

Wesu: We failed because Domokun is a nazi. Domokun was actually AGAINST performing our task
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT NAZI!!! DOMO-KUN HATE NAZI!
Wesu: And that is why he is naked
Trump: Give me proof, Wesu.
Wesu: And why we failed at the end of the day.
Wesu: Look at him
Domo: DOMO-KUN HATE SWASTIKA

Domo tears a swasticka apart!

Wesu: Look how violent he is!
Domo: DOMO-KUN GENTLE AS LAMB
Trump: Yes. Focused against the Nazis.
Domo: DOMO-KUN LOVED BY KIDS!
Trump: So when did things first start to go wrong?
Wesu: Mr Trump, people who hate the nazis, are a nazi themself.
Domo: DOMO-KUN HAVE PICTURE OF JEWISH KID HUGGING HIM
Wesu: And I hate all nazis. Including those ones.
Wesu: CHILD PORNOGRAPHY?
Domo: DOMO-KUN SAY, WESU TALK TO HIMMLER! WESU SAY, WE NO NEED FINISH TASK!
Wesu: THAT'S NOT TRUE.
Domo: "HIMMLER GOOD! HIMMLER HAVE CANDY!" DOMO-KUN HATE HIMMLER! DOMO-KUN SAY NO!!
Wesu: AT THE END OF THE DAY, THAT IS ABSOLUTELY UNEQUIVOCALLY UNTRUE, FOR CULTURAL AND
RELIGIOUS REASONS.
Domo: AND DOMO-KUN GET IGNORED! DOMO-KUN SAY, WESU BAD FOR IGNORING DOMO-KUN!
Trump: What do you mean at the end of the day?
Wesu: It is the end of the day
Domo: DOMO-KUM SAY, WESU KISS HIMMLER ON CHEEK!
Trump: Was about right then?
Domo: WESU SAY WE NO TOUCH FRIEND OF HIMMLER!
Trump: When it happened?
Wesu: WE FAILED THIS TASK BECAUSE I DREW A TINY COMICAL MUSTACHE ON YOU, DOMOKUN, AND WHEN I
ATTEMPTED TO MURDER YOU, YOU LIVED
Domo: DOMO-KUN SAY, KILL HIM!
Wesu: WE WERE THEREFORE UNABLE TO AT LEAST SOMEHOW DO SOMETHING RESEMBLING THE TASK
Trump: You attempted to murder your teammate?
Wesu: Not so much as kill him, no.
Domo: WESU TRY KILL ME!
Wesu: That is UNTRUE
Domo: INSTEAD OF KILL BAD MAN!DOMO-KUN HAD PRODUCER RESTRAIN WESU! PRODUCER GET SHOT!!
Trump: Wesu shot the producer?
Wesu: I did NOT.
Domo: WESU SHOOT PRODUCER!
Trump: Domokun says you did.
Domo: WESU SHOOT PRODUCER IN SPERMDUCT!
Wesu (1:19 am): The truth of the matter is......

Wesu has left........

......and Cookirini has entered?!?

Cookirini: I did
Domo: !!!

**COMMERCIAL BREAK WITH WASHED UP APPRENTICES, SOAP AND CARS!**

PART 2

Cookirini: You see.
Domo: THAT NOT DOMO-KUN
Cookirini: By going undercover as Wes it was over 50% more likely to complete the task.
Domo: THAT WESU IN CHEAP DISGUISE
Cookirini: That is absolutely untrue, Mr Trump.
Trump: Then what is?
Cookirini: I took the INITIATIVE to disguise myself as a short little emo boy to accomplish this task.
Trump: Why is that helpful?
Cookirini: It was helpful in every way.
Domo: ...Domo-kun not get Wesu
Trump: Such as?
Cookirini: I was able to associate with the client more directly.
Trump: Which client?
Cookirini: We shared the same short emo shrimp wavelength
Domo: DOMO-KUN SAY FAKER WESU GET FIRED FOR NOT SHOOTING BAD MAN
Cookirini: YOU TOOK NO INITIATIVE TO COMPLETE THIS TASK
Domo: BAD MAN KILL PEOPLE! DOMO-KUN FIND BUNKER! DOMO-KUN FIND BRAUN!

Cookirini shoots Domokun in the leg

Cookirini: Do you see what I am forced to do to ensure the productivity of my team?

Domo: DOMO-KUN FOILED BY WESU WHEN DOMO-KUN FO-*shot*
Cookirini: Mr Trump, it is clear you must fire Domokun.

Domo ROOOOOOOOAR

Domo: DOMO-KUN GET SHOT!!!! DOMO-KUN GET WESU!!!!!!
Trump: I see you are an ineffective leader in the rights of managing your team and this has just severely hurt your case.
Cookirini: Only in the way we failed.

Domo roooOOOOOAR

Cookirini: But lookign at it from a different perspective, I did very well.
Domo: DOMO-KUN ALMOST KILL BAD MAN! BUT WESU SAY NOOOOOO!!!!!! WESU SAVE MUSTACHED MAN! DOMO-KUN FAIL AS RESULT!
Trump: I see.
Cookirini: We had it planned out specifically
Cookirini: The "bad man" was killed but not in the manner to which were assigned to do
Domo: BAD MAN KILL SELF!
Trump: How were you assigned to do it?
Cookirini: BAD MAN NOT KILLED BY TEAM!
Cookirini: It was necissary to decorate you as the client and carry out the task on you instead to satisfy--
Cookirini: By shooting him.
Domo: TRUMP SAY, BAD MAN MUST BE KILLED BY TEAM!
Trump: And he shot himself?
Cookirini: Which is why it is COMPLETELY reasonable I attempted to do so to Domokun.
Domo: BAD MAN NOT KILLED BY TEAM!
Domo: YES!
Cookirini: After drawing a little mustache on him and castrating him
Domo: BAD MAN SHOOT SELF! DOMO-KUN MAD AT FAILING! DOMO-KUN NOT DERSERVE TO FIRED!
Trump: But he was not the original target?
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT ORIGINAL TARGET
Cookirini: Appearance is 99% of the business world.
Trump: Domokun was in improvisement.
Domo: DOMO-KUN LOOK NOTHING LIKE BAD MAN! DOMO-KUN SEVEN FEET TALL!
Cookirini: The bulk of the task was completed when the client offed himself but it needed to be dresse according
to the rquirements specified.
Domo: BAD MAN WAS SHORTY! WESU LIE!
Cookirini: You are a nazi.
Trump: But he was still not the target; he was an improvision.
Cookirini: You are close enough.
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT NAZI!
Cookirini: WOuld you say an improvision was not necisary, Mr Trump? That we should have abandonned the task?
Trump: When the task was failed, that was it. This was a specifically a one-shot ordeal.
Cookirini: Domokun told me he wanted to eat you
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT WANT TO EAT TRUMP! DOMO-KUN VEGETARIAN!
Cookirini: But the public
Cookirini: They needed to see it the way it was promissed
Domo: DOMO-KUN DEPSISE EAT THINGS THAT MOO
Cookirini: I saw domokun eat a puppy
Domo: DOMO-KUN NO EAT PUPPY! DOMO-KUN EAT LEEK!
Trump: It's not about what the public wanted to see, it's how you completed your task.
Cookirini: Mr Trump. You know appearences are everything. Why look how beautiful you are.
Domo: WESU SUCKING UP!
Cookirini: Appearences were also very important to the client.
Domo: WESU INCOMPETENT!
Cookirini: I am NOT
Cookirini: DOMOKUN NO USE GRAMMAR
Domo: WHY YOU SAY TRUMP IS BEAUTIFUL WHEN TRUMP YELL AT YOU?
Cookirini: DOMOKUN BLEEDING TO DEATH IN LEG
Domo: DOMOKUN MAKE MORE SENSE THAN WESU
Cookirini: I LIKE A MAN WHO IS FORCEFUL
Domo: DOMO-KUN HAS NO BLOOD
Cookirini: YOU BASTARD
Cookirini: You promised to donate blood to Trump if he were ever in an accident!
Cookirini: Were you... were you... wishing his DEATH?
Domo: DOMO-KUN NEVER PROMISE THAT!
Trump: Answer this question.
Cookirini: YOU PROMISE NOTHING AND YOU DELIVER NOTHING
Trump: Did you stop Domokun from eliminating the target?
Cookirini: No.
Domo: DOMO-KUN ONLY PERSON DO SOMETHING ON TASK
Cookirini: As soon as Domokun apporached him, he killed himself.
Cookirini: Clearly scare out of his wits
Cookirini: Or over some big war
Cookirini: But it's Domo's fault
Domo: NO TRUE! BAD MAN TRY KILL DOMOKUN! DOMO-KUN CHASE!
Cookirini: For the good of the Trump
Domo: WESU HIT ME WITH BRICK! WESU SHOOT AT ME!
Trump: Did you hit him with a brick and shoot at him?
Domo: WHEN DOMO-KUN TRY TO STOP WESU, BAD MAN GET AWAY!
Cookirini: Yes. To make our task run more smoothly. I would have expected Domo to do the same.
Trump: But this caused the target to get away.
Cookirini: If it is true he wouldn't have... he truely fails as a business person of you calibur
Cookirini: No. It did not.
Domo: YES IT DID
Trump: What did?
Cookirini: You are mentally hilarious. He did not get away. He killed himself.
Domo: HE KILL HIMSEF NOT EQUAL US KILL HIM!
Cookirini: So you admit it was your fault!
Domo: DOMO-KUN DO NOTHING WRONG!
Trump: Is sounds like Domo-Kun was about to kill him, you stopped him-
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT TRY KILL PARTNER!
Trump: and THEN he killed himself.
Domo: YES!
Trump: Am I right?
Cookirini: Domokun was about to kill him. Under my command. However Domokun did it wrong, and he got scared and shot himself.
Domo: NO!
Cookirini: So I asked Domokun to let me kill him in place for appearances
Domo: WESU STOP DOMO-KUN FROM KILLING BAD MAN!
Cookirini: And he said yes
Domo: WESU TRY SHOOT ME!
Trump: But you admit that you stopped him by shooting him and hitting him with a brick?
Cookirini: See how he lies?
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT SAY YES!
Cookirini: No no. That's how I tried to kill him.
Domo: YOU MAKE DOMO-KUN CRY!
Cookirini: As specified by you in Germany.
Domo: DOMO-KUN ON LOUSY TEAM WITH LOUSY LEADER!
Cookirini: As what to do with the client
Cookirini: Excuse me?
Domo: DOMO-KUN WIN AS POJECT MANAGER BEFORE! NEXT WEEK, DOMO-KUN WITH WESU AND DOMO-KUN LOSE!
Cookirini: I am absolutely, unequivocally the best leader at the end of the day for cultural and religious reason.
Domo: DOMO-KUN EXEMPT!
Cookirini: o0
Cookirini: You are not exempt
Domo: DOMO-KUN WIN LAST WEEK
Domo: Your team did not elect you to be exempt last week.
Cookirini: No one voted for you to be
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT FORGET! DOMO-KUN.....

Cookirini looks at paper

Domo: ....DOMO-KUN NOT EXEMPT?!
Cookirini: LMAO
Cookirini clears throat
Trump: Your team did not vote you exempt.
Domo: BUT TEAM SAY DOMO-KUN GOOD LEADER!
Cookirini: Hm
Domo sniff
Domo: TEAM SAY DOMO-KUN....DOMO-KUN SAVE TEAM....!
Cookirini: I saw him try to eat the team, Mr Trump.
Cookirini: I've NEVER tried to eat more than one member of your candidates at once.
Domo: DOMO-KUN NOT EAT TEAM!
Domo: DOMO-KUN EAT PEAS!
Domo: DOMO-KUN BARF IF EAT MEAT!!
Trump: Oh really? *takes out some peas*
Cookirini: SO YOU'VE EATEN MEAT BEFORE?
Trump : I have some right here.
Domo: PEAS!

**COMMERCIAL BREAK WITH ANNA NICOLE SMITH AND NBC TV SHOWS....because it's on NBC, yo**

PART 3

Domo scarf scarf peas ^________^
Cookirini shoots Domo for every pea he eats

Cookirini: Go ahead
Domo: domo-kun like peas!
Cookirini: Eat another one
Domo: STOP SHOOTING DOMO-KUN!
Cookirini: You see? He cleary does not want to eat the pea.
Domo: Quit shooting your teammate.
Cookirini: You have a liar in your midst
Trump: You are not so sneaky.
Cookirini: I am not shooting him, Mr Trump. I am only using a gun
Domo: DOMO-KUN SAYS TRUMP FIRE WESU!
Trump: I see. That is the same as shooting.
Domo: DOMO-KUN SAY WESU BAD FOR TRUMP!
Cookirini: Such slander!
Domo: WESU VIOLENT! WESU MEAN!
Cookirini: I guarantee you a lawsuit if you allow him onto your team
Domo: WESU BAD!!
Cookirini: He will find himself in hot water with that mouth
Domo: WESU NOT LAWYER!
Cookirini: And a delicious stew....
Cookirini: That is irrelevent.
Trump: A delicious stew? Tell me what that means.
Domo: wesu threaten domo-kun! ;__;

Domo sniff sniffle

Cookirini: It is a metaphor for what I have to offer you as a head of one of your businesses, Mr Trump!
Domo: domo-kun do nothing wrong to wesu!
Trump: You seem to have done a very poor job of keeping morale up.
Trump: Wesu. While Domokun may have been the source of not being able to complete the task itself, your final efforts were rash, poorly thought out, and ultimately aimless. There is no room for someone like that on our team.

Wesu, you're fired.

Cookirini shoots Mr Trump

Domo: DOMO-KUN THANK TRUMP!
Domo: !!!! WESU SHOOT TRUMP! DOMO-KUN KILLLLLLL!!!!!!!
Trump: Ugh! *falls over* Guards!

Cookirini SHOOOT SHOOOOT
Domo POUND POUND POUND
Cookirini eats Trump's heart and gains his companies

Cookirini: AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Domo KILL WESU
*Several suits bust into the room and hit Wesu with several sticky shockers at once*

Domo: DOMO-KUN SAVE TRUMP!

Cookirini dies. Her body is dragged out of the boardroom and thrown into a Jersey swamp. Trump completelyrecovers by eating his pizza the wrong way - crust first!

THE END!

...not.

EPILOGUE

Acriokun (1:51 am): Well that was fun
Cookirini (1:51 am): LOL
Nosliw Eldereth (1:51 am): Oh. So THAT'S what happened.
Nosliw Eldereth (1:51 am): Tricksy little hobbitses.
Cookirini (1:51 am): That was the best
Cookirini is saving this
Acriokun (1:52 am): =.
Nosliw Eldereth (1:52 am): Yeah.
Nosliw Eldereth (1:52 am): It's worth it.
Cookirini (1:52 am): I say we post it on MF Central
Nosliw Eldereth (1:52 am): I was grilling Acrio bad there for a while, though.
Nosliw Eldereth (1:52 am): BTW.
Cookirini (1:52 am): Yes?
Nosliw Eldereth (1:53 am): OMFG ROFL @ Cultural and Spiritual Beliefs used repeatedly.
Cookirini (1:53 am): XD!
Cookirini (1:54 am): All names will be changed to protect the guilty
Nosliw Eldereth (1:54 am): I'll just be Trump.
Nosliw Eldereth (1:54 am): 😛
Nosliw Eldereth (1:54 am): We need an Amorosa.
Nosliw Eldereth (1:54 am): Although I'm not sure anyone here is mean enough to emulate that.
Cookirini (1:54 am): Omarosa
Cookirini (1:55 am): Anyways, it was fun 😀
Cookirini (1:55 am): But I must go
Acriokun (1:55 am): SLeeeepy
Nosliw Eldereth (1:55 am): Bye, Cooki.
Nosliw Eldereth (1:55 am): And put your pink back on!
Cookirini (1:55 am): Byeee!
Nosliw Eldereth (1:55 am): You look ridiculous.
Nosliw Eldereth (1:55 am): 😛
Nosliw Eldereth (1:56 am): =D
Nosliw Eldereth (1:56 am): By3.
Acriokun (1:56 am): 😮
Acriokun (1:56 am): Cya
Cookirini (1:56 am): *poof*
Cookirini (1:56 am): :p

THE END!

CAST:
Acriokun: "Cookirini" disguised as "Wesu"
TIB/Nosliw Eldereth: Donald Trump
Cookirini: DOMO DOMO DOMO KUN!!!!

(Everything spoken above is true. Yup. Totally true.)