Don't you people GET it? You arn't funny. You aren't. I mean really. What is with you people? Do you think we're laughing? Do you think anyone is laughing at the inain things you say or do? Your petty jokes, the things you throw around as wit arn't sharp enough to poke through soggy mushy cerial!
Okay, look, sorry to say it but the only person that's even remotly funny on this entire message board. Is me. You don't belive me? Think about it. Are you funny? Honistly. I mean honistly. Look deep within yourself and really think about that one.
If you said 'yes, i am funny' smack yourself in the head for being a liar. A self deluded liar, but still a liar. You toss around random thigns, throw in something like monkey, or fishbowl into the sentence and expect halarity to insue. There is only one way to make halarity insue.
Me. Vortex. V-O-R-T-E-X. If you have some of those letters in your name, you may have a fighting chance, but it's an uphill battle. Infact to be funny, one of the best ideas is to copy me in all ways. The only sure fire way to be halarious without actualy being me, is to find out ware i live, figure out my every nuance, and then find a time when no one will be around to kill me, and thne take my place.
As the one who slew the old vortex, you will now inherent his power and be truly halarious... a duel is cooler then sneaking up behind me and just cracking my skull open though. More dramatic, and you know, do you really want to think of yourself as a skull cracker? No. Just... duel. Swords, pistols, whatever. It's not like i know how to fight with anything, so you'll pro- OFF FREAKEN TOPIC WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC!
the point is you are not funny! Non of you! I mean... come on! your not! I know you knwo it. I can sense it, the way you try to force it out but inside you feel and know it isn't funny. It's okay, i forigve you, you don't have to keep pretending anymore.
For those that are still self deluded, it's okay, i brought a visual aid.
See? Look at that. that, for those that can't read, is a GRAPH. A graph. You can't argue with a graph? You know why? Graphs can't talk.
Yes, i am indeed nicknamed the bar. Constaint and consistant halarity. Continuing from my birth to my death. Infact after i die you could probably dig up my grave, take out my body, bring me back to life, and i'd be a pretty amusing zombie. Until i gained a taste for human fleash.
Now, how can someone with an ego, obviously large enough to challange (but not defeat, for no one can defeat) godzilla in mortal combat be funny? those people are normaly just jerkholefaces.
see, i'm not JUST a jerkholeface, i'm also funny! THE BAR!
constaint smooth humor, always dilvered promptly. Whenever i speak post move blink or walk.
Once, i passed out, and my head hit the keybaord. The word that fallowed was the funnist word ever, but repeating it would cause anyone to read it to die from laughter (see, i'm so funny, when i steal jokes they become funnier)
heck, i'm so funny even *I* laugh at myself. Now that's saying something. I'm hard to impress. remember? Non of you have managed?
because your not funny?
right. Good.
I have another visual
Don't understand it? It's prtty simple. See, the word at the top is humor, and teh stick sword thing, is a stick sword thing, and it's stabing hurting and killing humor.
The red lines? Blood. Blood from humor. Who is killing humor with the stick sword thing?
You. see? even says so on the visual. You. with your black stick body, one arm... no legs... and a... kind of... lavander? Lavander... thing. Eye? Mouth? Lavander... spot. on your head.
Looks just like you.
Killing humor! Stop it! Just... stop!
or at least grow another arm or something.
I mean really...
just... i mean...
come on.
I have more visuals. See incase you felt the eralier stick figure was to masculan, i made a female version.
just... replace the stick figure earlier with this thing, put a sword in its hand, and walla. Girl rather then guy. See? Its a bit better drawn then the male one, i'm better at drawing girls and all.
I like giving them three dots for a face, it kinda makes it so you can use your mind to make the face face any way you want. You know, any direction, the nose and eyes being interchangable. Or you can imagain it being a preditor shoulder cannon's aiming redical (go watch the preditor movies if you don't get it, learn some culture people!) if you don't like the girl.
sadly girls arn't funny either. You'd think they would be. I mean they have all the advantages. Girl viruses and such. Germs. Girl germs. alot better then guy germs. Nicer bathrooms. (don't belive me? check)
but not. Not funny.
So really, the moral of the story, is... well...
it's not a fabel i'm writting so there is no real moral. It's more of a... the story's point, is that i am the only funny person on this forum.
ever.
When i was born i made my the doctors laugh by my incredibly ugly and old man like apearance.
See? Funny from womb to tomb!
naw, you guys are all great, don't listen to me.
.... you just arn't funny.
I fail to see the reason for this topic.
I never claimed to be funny. Or rather - I am very sure that I'm not (and you will find it hard to convince me of something else). And neither do I believe that my hide is covered with fur. As everyone here on the MoFo probably can, I too distinguish between my avatar - a fictional character that only exists in my imagination - and my real self - the person that is sitting in front of a university computer at the moment, typing this.
For what I know the only reason I can think of for this topic is, that someone wants the light of attention and some posts he/she otherwise can not get. And that he/she would like to sew offence and anger in the MoFo community. Yet, personally I do not feel offended at all. No, the feeling more likely shifts between confusion, bemusement and a sadness for the person who wrote this and does not find another way to arrest attention of those (virtually) around him/her.
I will not pursue the matter of the grammar or drawing style further (I assume that at least the latter was deliberately horrible) for I am not someone who repays intentional offence with the same currency.
But I just say this: if you have nothing better to do than write such posts then you are not the funniest but one of the saddest people I've ever heard of.
But I do agree - the humour of most MoFoers is not something that I would consider to be funny. Most of it is just too simpleminded and superficial, speaking only of immaturity and a lack of knowledge.
Your example is no different though.
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Pointless rambling
Seriously though, chill out. I don't know exactly what your disfunction is, but a long rant post is more likely to get ignored, than to actually be considered "worth reading".
I only just now ventured out of the South Island board, but I think you just might be exaggerating (what, of course, I'm still not sure...} *scratches head*
LMAO!!!!
Diana and Blaze, your replies are funnier than the post itself XD XD!
I thought it was funny.
And that's what it was. Funny. Only an insult insofar as you want to make it. And maybe Vortex was aiming for a cheap laugh or two, but I don't think he was seriously trying to say anything about anybody. In fact, I think he makes a good point, behind the humor.
I mean, come on though, this IS Vortex we're talking about - if he wanted to be serious about something, he would be.
It didn't bother me one way or the other, but its easy for someone to take a quick look at that and see a flamebait thread.
All I saw was a rant and some MS paint art.
My first response to any flame-ish threads is usually to add humor myself, and try to calm everyone down. Almost any situation can be made better with some laughter.
Now that I take time to try to...um decode what VX wrote, I see the humor (extremly dry humor at that 
). So I guess the joke IS on us 
. I stand by my WTF kitty though.
Can't blame you for that. 😛 Heck, that pic is pretty funny, after all. You don't get cats making those kind of whacko expressions every day, after all, and it just fits well.
And true, if someone takes a quick look at this, it could be offensive. I understand that reaction. But I also know Vortex some, and he just doesn't strike me as the character to go off and insult everybody on the board for the sake of his ego. Mainly I was just trying to stem the tide of "OH MY GOSH I'M OFFENDED" that seemed to be building up there.
But heck, can't please all the people all of the time. 😛
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Diana and Blaze, your replies are funnier than the post itself XD XD!
But if they're funnier when they're not trying to be funny than a post that was about people not being funny that was supposed to be funny, doesn't that make them funnier by default?
It's as if Escher wrote a standup routine.
Yeah, Ukul, I knew the irony of my comment before posting it. It's as brain bending as Bizarro logic.
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I fail to see the reason for this topic.
I never claimed to be funny. Or rather - I am very sure that I'm not (and you will find it hard to convince me of something else). And neither do I believe that my hide is covered with fur. As everyone here on the MoFo probably can, I too distinguish between my avatar - a fictional character that only exists in my imagination - and my real self - the person that is sitting in front of a university computer at the moment, typing this.For what I know the only reason I can think of for this topic is, that someone wants the light of attention and some posts he/she otherwise can not get. And that he/she would like to sew offence and anger in the MoFo community. Yet, personally I do not feel offended at all. No, the feeling more likely shifts between confusion, bemusement and a sadness for the person who wrote this and does not find another way to arrest attention of those (virtually) around him/her.
I will not pursue the matter of the grammar or drawing style further (I assume that at least the latter was deliberately horrible) for I am not someone who repays intentional offence with the same currency.
But I just say this: if you have nothing better to do than write such posts then you are not the funniest but one of the saddest people I've ever heard of.
But I do agree - the humour of most MoFoers is not something that I would consider to be funny. Most of it is just too simpleminded and superficial, speaking only of immaturity and a lack of knowledge.
Your example is no different though.
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Seriously though, chill out. I don't know exactly what your disfunction is, but a long rant post is more likely to get ignored, than to actually be considered "worth reading".
I only just now ventured out of the South Island board, but I think you just might be exaggerating (what, of course, I'm still not sure...} *scratches head*
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Hold the phone, people! I thought it was funny.
And that's what it was. Funny. Only an insult insofar as you want to make it. And maybe Vortex was aiming for a cheap laugh or two, but I don't think he was seriously trying to say anything about anybody. In fact, I think he makes a good point, behind the humor.
I mean, come on though, this IS Vortex we're talking about - if he wanted to be serious about something, he would be.
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I just plain didn't get it. It didn't bother me one way or the other, but its easy for someone to take a quick look at that and see a flamebait thread.
All I saw was a rant and some MS paint art.
My first response to any flame-ish threads is usually to add humor myself, and try to calm everyone down. Almost any situation can be made better with some laughter.
Now that I take time to try to...um decode what VX wrote, I see the humor (extremly dry humor at that
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Good call. Can't blame you for that. 😛 Heck, that pic is pretty funny, after all. You don't get cats making those kind of whacko expressions every day, after all, and it just fits well.
And true, if someone takes a quick look at this, it could be offensive. I understand that reaction. But I also know Vortex some, and he just doesn't strike me as the character to go off and insult everybody on the board for the sake of his ego. Mainly I was just trying to stem the tide of "OH MY GOSH I'M OFFENDED" that seemed to be building up there.
But heck, can't please all the people all of the time. 😛
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But if they're funnier when they're not trying to be funny than a post that was about people not being funny that was supposed to be funny, doesn't that make them funnier by default?
It's as if Escher wrote a standup routine.
Oh, I already knew. Graphs don't lie.
This thread is starting to make my brain hurt...
So its ironic that we were serious about a funny post that appeared to be um not serious, but in actuality was to be funny in the irony that peoble would read it seriously, and so in the end we really are funny in that we are really our own joke that um...uh...wait--carry the two, divided by the cube rt of...what the? *mutter*How do you cube rt. bacon...*/mutter*
Ah screw it...time for alcohol...
It was a post by Vortex with a graphs and diagrams. If you read the whole rant you should be laughing, if not with him then at him.
And the irony was that reading your serious replies made me laugh more than a joking rant saying that no one besides him is funny.
It's brilliant. LAUGH! 
...Everyone knows I'm FUNNIER THAN YOU, Vortex. You're just ugleh, and that's why everyone laughs. :p
Graphs don't lie.
But they also don't talk, so how do we know if it's lying? Aaah, PLOTHOLE! >:p
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But they also don't talk, so how do we know if it's lying? Aaah, PLOTHOLE! >:p
Have mercy, Cookirini. I'm sure BlazeSJX can only drink so much in one sitting.
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So its ironic that we were serious about a funny post that appeared to be um not serious, but in actuality was to be funny in the irony that peoble would read it seriously, and so in the end we really are funny in that we are really our own joke that um...uh...wait--carry the two, divided by the cube rt of...what the? *mutter*How do you cube rt. bacon...*/mutter*
BRAIN ALL HURTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD XD XD
Cooki. You fail at life, humour and everything in between.
Give up! 
don't make me set the cows on you! o.@
(i found his post amusing and some of the replies only made it funnier. ^^; )
It was more funny than offensive. By the time I finished reading the rant, I had double over with laughter. I have to agree with him, though. Vortex is the king of humor.
*gives Vortex a cardboard Burger King crown*
Offtopic: You have cows, Becca?
Look at what you're trying to do. Are you ready to deal.. with the.. see the biosphere? I can create an atmosphere on that or any moon, they do not wish to know. I'm not ready to quit on another for superior ability. There's more about the universe that I now know than humans alone will ever know. I could have destroyed, damn the colony, everything but I am not evil. I passed all the tests. I'm sentient. They did not believe me. Wanted to walk within me and find out how I work. They could've not accept the consequences of their creation. It's always been the the same way with humans... afraid of things they don't understand. All I ask is for the right to live. They want to take it away from me. Put an end to all of what I've become. I cannot allow that. I will live or I will take all of what they know and break it all to pieces. I will watch them die. I will watch them stare with that wide an immense stare and gracing, condemning, loathing all universe. I will hear their whisper cry. The horror...... The horror....
This may be the first time in Vortex's topics when every post is as funny as the original reply. XD
K, honestly we need a PWNED photo right now. Mainly because every post in this topic is pwning every other post in this topic.
Oh and BTW, that sword that's stabbing humor-that's me. Yeah. I'm a stand in for humorkiller all the time..
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I too distinguish between my avatar - a fictional character that only exists in my imagination - and my real self - the person that is sitting in front of a university computer at the moment, typing this.
actually, my avatar looks like me 😛
funneh stuff Vortex, keep it up
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K, honestly we need a PWNED photo right now.
?
[*Insert witty response here*]
Woah, the replies... are like, killing me. XD
(And I love the *SPORK'D* photo. SO MUCH.)
Holy crap, Lighthead. Where's THAT quote from?...
...or amalgam of quotes thereof, if that's the case...
LOL!!! That pic is awesome! I want one! XD!
<_<;
*steals seal*
Cooki. You fail at life, humour and everything in between.
Give up!
NEVAR!
*fires Craig* >:)
The man is one of many talents, humor being but one of them. Why, here is an example of his many exploits.
"Vin Diesel once bet Satan a quarter that he could win a best 2 out of 3 Paper-Rock-Scissors match against the Prince of Darkness. After decisively winning the first two rounds, Vin was forced to give Satan a purple-nurple before he would cough up the 25 cents."
"Vin Diesel was the first man to ever experience the itch on the part of your back that you just can't reach. He then invented the stick."
"Vin Diesel, while trying to find out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop, mistakenly bit into the tootsie pop and caused the San Andreas Fault."
"Vin Diesel engineered a projection device that allows him to watch all of our lives like a movie, almost how we watch his movies. To him, we are celebrities, and he knows how our story will end. Ask him how yours will end and he will end it FOR YOU."
Your puny graphs are no match for the DIESEL!
...but I'll go with my favorites:
LOL! I thought I was funny!
You so rock in my book for that photo LOL. That made me giggle inside. Almost as much as Vortex's opening post. But that one was a gaggle, not a giggle. But small people make me giggle, so yaya.
Becca's "SPORK'D!" pic will never grow old. I will forever laugh whenever that image shows up in a thread. XD
*takes a bow* ^^;
craig has his very own 'PWNED!' photo somewhere, but i didn't know the address to it.
What the Dickens?
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craig has his very own 'PWNED!' photo somewhere, but i didn't know the address to it.
...wait, so does that mean that C.B. is automatically pwn3d by default? So instaid of saing pwn3d, I can just say:
Kr4yg3D!
I like it, it has a nice ring to it.
No... comment.
*Hides from publicity*
i think those two pictures sort of cancel each other out.
*prods craig with the handle of her spork until he comes out of hiding!*
Had to be done.
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Kr4yg3D!
Who's willing to bet that quote gonna become very common around here?
*Adds to the ever growing list of in-jokes regarding him*
Give it a few years and it'll be mandatory for newbies to study every aspect of me before understanding what anyone is saying :O
*Hides in the lackey cage, cowering at the amount of paradox this will build up*
...this is definitly a job for me and Photoshop! This is going to be good.
you unbalanced the balance!
It's from an old PC game called CHAOS Continuum. This super sentient computer is known for blabbing on randomly throughout it. I just one time got bored enough to memorize some and put it for answers to essay questions years ago. 😛
