You know, there was this one girl that I was absolutely in love with for years! I mean to the point where I got jealous when I saw her talking to other guys...nuts I know but she was my goddess. I worked up enough nerve and told her how I felt, of course I got the good old stand by "stay friends" bit. No end of the world, no ridicule, no jarring laughter every time she saw me. And we did stay friends. Point being the worst that can happen is that she'll say she's not interested. It'll suck for a little while but at least you'll know where you stand and it will be easier to get on with things.

But you already have some common ground with the school and activities so that makes things easier than say, just walking up to some random person. Main thing is to make sure that she's not already taken. Butting in is lame and it might get you killed...or at least glared at.

Another thing is do any communication yourself. Don't get a friend of a friend to pass a note or verbal message. Years later when I met the girl that I would marry, the thing that really got my attention was that she came to me herself, not a friend or common acquaintance but HER. I thought that was great and a very mature gesture, opposed to "I Like You. Do you Like Me? Check YES or NO"

I remember how nervous I was when I approached that girl for the first time. Man, as bad as my heart was pounding, as much as I thought I was pass out in a sweat and urine soaked lump, it's nothing compared to the stress of saying "I DO"

Now THAT'S scary.

Heh, girl trouble, eh? I'm no pro at this, but what I can say is calm yourself down and talk to her. I know the feeling, and I one day managed to get my crush of three or so years to be my girlfriend, after quite a bit of effort. Didn't turn out well. After one year everything fell apart, and now I'm going after another girl I know I do not have a crush on (the feeling's different).

What I'm trying now is just being friendly first (perhaps you should try it). Seems to be working, and sooner or later I might just be able to ask her out, just the two of us. =D (And I have yet to make sure she doesn't have anyone else in mind! I can't ask just yet. We're not that close. XD So yeah, as said before, make sure she isn't taken.)

Personally, I was initially unable to talk to her naturally, but now it's easier. Try calming yourself down first, then talking to her. If it's not easy, maybe you could try more indirect methods. Online chatting? Phone messages? They might work. Also, find something mundane or common to talk about first. It tends to work better than an awkward topic that you're into but she isn't (guns, in my case >_<). And yes, do every single bit of communication yourself.

Best of luck, Espio!

I'm in the same boat as you, Espio. Growing up, I could never find the nerve to talk to girls. I always just found myself eyeing them, just roaming around keeping track of where they were until I could find something to say. Problem was, it took me so long that I ended up looking like a stalker. So clearly that's something you DON'T want to do.

As nervous as it is, you have to get some kind of first conversation going. You say you've been in band with this girl, so between practices, if you see her on the side tuning her instrument or something, pull up a seat next to her, get a "hi" and a "how are you" going, and see what happens from there. Keep it casual until you're super comfortable.

Funny how this reminds me of two things:

> My wife Andrea asked to meet ME. And SHE was the one who made the first move for a kiss. I was even more nervous about that moment than just talking to a girl, I didn't want to screw it up, even after two months!

> Back before I met her, I used to try to meet girls at these teen dances up in the Poconos. And wouldn't you know, the first girl I met that I was actually able to have a decent conversation with... already had someone. Shame, too. At the time, it felt like it could've been something if she wasn't with anyone.

Eh, no matter. I'm just glad things turned out the way that have for me. Wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

You'll be find, Espio. Trust me.

Well, dude, I see it like this... Rather, know, because I've been on both sides countless times (Mostly the first! Yay!)
Either you work up the courage to ask her out, if she's single, she'll 80% likely say yes. And there ya go, man, a bit of courage goes a long way.
Or, you dont, "bide your time" and "wait for the moment" and guess what? Some ugly dumb twit's gonna run off with her, just because you had no initiative.

At the end of the day, you'll either go to a message board to complain, or go to her house for dinner and a movie. Choice is yours, my man.

i'm in kinda the same position.

there's this girl i've liked for a year or so, we're pretty good friends and we met each other at... promise not to laugh, Karate.

i don't really have the nerve to ask her out because i don't want to ruin a good thing.
besides i'm not all that physically attractive anyway.
(IE overweight)

the best advice i can give you is don't wait.
take the initiative, become her friend and then ask her out.
if you get turned down So what?
you got a new friend anyway.
And if your New friend just happens to be friends with another Friend that you find attractive... well, you can guess the rest.

Well, Doc, my first crush I met at Taekwondo, so there's really nothing to laugh about.

You don't have to be physically attractive, my friend. It's always a plus, but people should be looking at inner goodness, not outer appearances - easier said than done; I know.

But seriously, if you're good friends with the girl, I suggest you go out with her (In a group if you're not comfortable one-to-one). Group dates are often good, and you can slowly reduce the number of people going along.

I'm no professional at this, but I'm trying out my own suggestions to see if they work.

Best of luck to you guys. =D

Strange,because about 20 minutes ago,I just gave up on a girl who I had the same problems with.Now,i've been chasing her for about 2 years now.I finally thought she liked me and *POOF*, all gone.She was going out with someone else,while leading me on the whole time.She actually hated my guts!Isn't that crazy!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'Ahem!Anyway,truth is,girls are mean dude.Tey will kill ya.This doesn't pertain to all of you,just EVERY SINGLE FRICKIN ONE I'VE FELL IN LOVE WITH!But,good luck.That was just a warning.Don't let her mess with your head like Angela,okay?

meh cant believe this got brought back up, anyways since its here, i'll update, been talking with her, havent seen her since school got out for spring break though.

Let the master butt in here...
Once you tell me ALL these following things, I can help you:
1) Where does she hang out during school?
2) What does she do there?
3) Do your friends arrove of her?
4) Do here friends approve of you?
5) Do you flirt much?
6) Are you good with any romantic crap?

Jaffa i'm not saying i doubt your experience, ok i am...but what the hell.

1) Where does she hang out during school? I pass her in the halls between classes, have the same lunch as her, and am in band with her but dont see her in class because she is in symphony and i am in the wind ensemble *just different classes*
2) What does she do there? What kind of a question is this?
3) Do your friends arrove of her? My friends dont really care as none of them know her, I dont share any friends with her either.
4) Do here friends approve of you? I dont know, but frankly i dont think my friends, or hers, have much if any effect on her or my opinion.
5) Do you flirt much? Yes, but i've never flirted with her.
6) Are you good with any romantic crap? Yes

Jaffa i honestly think these were some aweful questions, but it doesnt hurt

Not claiming to be an expert, but I would generally go with a somewhat cliched suggestion - be yourself, and be honest. Granted, not easy to do when you're paralysed with embarassment, but it's generally the simplest and most effective way to get somewhere with her. If it helps, just start with talking about common interests - especially since you don't seem to be lacking in them, and build from there.

Anyway, you might prefer to see what Jaffa has to say, since he is claiming to be an expert...

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Where does she hang out during school? I pass her in the halls between classes, have the same lunch as her, and am in band with her but dont see her in class because she is in symphony and i am in the wind ensemble *just different classes*

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I mean during break/play time or-wharever-the-hell you call it, where does she usually go then (if you don't know.... Follow her)? And it then makes my second question relevant.

Jaffa...exactly what grade do you think i'm in? At least at my Highschool there isnt such thing as playtime/break... just lunch and the five minutes to get between classes.

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just lunch and the five minutes to get between classes.

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*prods*
You didn't awnser the question though....

I was in love once with a beautiful girl. Then she ripped out my heart and left me a bitter, twisted husk of my former self.

But seriously, the key to winning girls is confidence, a sense of humour, and the ability to listen. Make friends with her first, but don't leave it too long to pop the question in case you become "just friends". Just treat her right, show her you care, and stay sweet in the face of adversity, and she's yours, mate. Good luck.

Jaffa, i did answer your question, there is no playtime at our school, so she obviously couldnt go anywhere during it...

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so she obviously couldnt go anywhere during it...

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How about Lunch, then?

what you should do espio is talk to her friends. If you know them well, try to find out if shes said anything about you. But what your really gonna have to do is just oneday go over to her and just talk. that simple. Well.....said than done. I know your nervous bu take a deep breath, walk over and concentrate on what your going to say. Once you get that going, try to be good friends with her. Thats all i can say for now.

Oh yea what Kool said talk to her friends about it. I'm kinda in a similar situation. I'm trying to get my friend really close to this one girl that he doesn't know all too well. What do I do? Ask her friends about her and stuff. Wow this is like a minth old...

hmm, why'd this get brought back up, anyways i've been talking with her a bit and she isnt interested so 🙁 to me, let the topic die...

"leading me on the whole time.She actually hated my guts!Isn't that crazy!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Amen to that, brother...
lol...

no girls seem to like me... at all... only a few scumbags (really... a giggallo wouldnt date them) have ever liked me.

Personally, theres a girl Im in love with too... lol. I asked her out once, got one of the best replies ever (it was a polite no, unlike being laughed at and ridiculed... people think Im a loser... lol)
She said it was because she just broke up with someone (which I personally know to be true... I was willing to sacrifice his friendship... lol)

I waited a while, and asked her again... it was a bit worse of a reply this time... but not that horrible...

after a week (now) she'll talk to me again... and doesnt fear me like a stalker...

sad thing is, I really think she does like me... but I have a local reputation as a loser, based on what some scumbag druggies said. and they're popular, so everyone listened.

heres some advice from someone who knows: if youve had even one GF, be happy. Ive never had one in my 15 years, and Im starting to doubt I ever will.

sorry about the rant. 😛

So far I don't think I've seen any advice from the people who sholud have the most to offer...

You at least have some common areas with band and track and such, so you at least have a fair opening.

If you need a topic, use your rugby/morphine story...unless she appears the queasy type.

If you are in your Senior year, then time is obviously running out. Like some others said, it can be good to go 'behind enemy lines'. Chances are you should know someone who knows a friend who knows a friend, etc, etc..

The only real advice I have is don't let it slip away...better to try and fail rather than regret and wonder forever after.

Oh well Espio I brought it up by accident. And Spiroth I know how you feel. In my 16 years i've never had a true girlfriend. I'm beginning to think I won't either. I'm actually looknig forward to growing up alone and forever being a single male. Oh well.