In the land of Spamonia, war was begin-
John: WRONG MOVIE!!!
Sorry.
It was a perfectly fine morning in the kingdom of Spamonia. All the spamizens were doing there daily routine. Except for...Cyril Sneer
John: HEY!! Stop mixing up the continuities!! We're one a tight budget here thanks to that electrical shortage (stupid janitor...)
Sorry, I'll get it right this time.
In the castle, the king was having his usual morning headache.
Princess Benzoate: WAAAH!!! I want lard!!
King Carcino: But dear, there hasn't been a scrap of lard in the kingdom since your brother...
Prince Bypro: UUUUUUUUUURRRRPPP!!!!!!!!!
Princess Benzoate: WWAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!! Give me some lard or I'll wreck the whole palace with this... wind-breaker!!!
*lightning claps, birds go crazy, and the local priest rushes outside and faints*
Priest: My brain!! AAAAGGHH!!! *faints*
King Carcino: Oh no!! We're already in debt from those insurance brokers!! We can't handle another disaster!
So that very day, King Carcino sent out a royal proclamation:
Spamizens of Spamonia:
A great crisis has once again fallen upon our great kingdom. My problematic daughter has requested, of all things, LARD! She threaten to flatten the palace if she does not get her way soon! (Why couldn't she request toilet water instead? We have plenty of that from last year's flood..)
I'm sure you all remember last year's tornado fiasco. Images of death, destruction, and Chinese underwear still linger in my memory. Not too mention...the smell X_X. I can't let the same thing happen again!
To whosoever can find at least one kilogram of lard (without using any stock options) shall be richly rewarded with much gold, jewels, and highly potent peppermint drops (no pectin added!)
At this point the spamizens groaned. "Lard? That's impossible!" "He's gone mad I tell you!" "Someone help me, I'M POSSESSED!!!"
Free T-Shirts just for participating!!
At hearing that infamous sentence, every able spamizen in town grabbed whatever they needed for the harse journey, from extra underwear to toilet paper to porcelein bowls in case anyone gets drunk...again.
Crazed spamizen: Um...guys, I'M STILL POSSESSED!!!
Shopkeeper: Shut up! *throws bricks at him*
Crazed spamizen: Ow! Oooh! Stop that! I have lawyers!!!
To be continued...
John: Well, that's it for today.
Narrator: Whew. That was quite a ride. When's lunch?
John: What are you talking about? It's 3 PM!
Narrator: Sorry, I keep mixing up the big hand with the little one...
John: O.O
Narrator: Don't ask. I'm under a protection program.
Random generic guy: I like cheese.
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