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Shadow the Hedgehog game, with spoilers and such

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(@chibibecca_1722585688)
Posts: 3291
Famed Member
 

i've given in and bought the game, couldn't wait until christmas. ^^;

for the first time in a sonic game, i've been having problems with the camera. it will get stuck on moving platforms and i find it'll only turn once the platform has got the the top of it's rise.

triangle jump isn't giving me problems right now, but i've only nearly finished the nutural run so far.

 
(@psxphile_1722027877)
Posts: 5772
Illustrious Member
 

Quote:


The trick is NEVER to touch the camera, not at all... It'll show you what you need to get through the level (not to get the keys, sadly) but by touching the camera it offsets it and it'll be screwed up for the next bit untill you get to solid ground again...


Emphasized for effect. Cosmic Wall isn't the problem, you are. Leave the camera alone.

I've never had a problem with sticking to walls during a Triangle Jump (lol spiderhog), only with the last jump in the chain failing to reach safety. But as Swift recommends and I discovered after falling for the 10th time, it's better to take the run off the wall instead of jumping once you're close enough.

 
(@sonic332)
Posts: 721
Prominent Member
 

This game rates a 7.5 out of 10. It's better than good, but a little worse than great. In fact, the only level I REALLY have a problem with is Cosmic Fall. I'm rediculously acrophobic (read: REALLY afraid of heghts), and this freaks me out more than any of the previous "goof up and you'll fall forever" levels in Sonic history.

Only one thing left to say: Can't wait for Christmas (I'm getting Sonic Rush and a DS:] :] :] :] :] ). Hope it's better than this. Shadow's okay, but I'd rather have a bit more Sonic in my gaming diet.;)

p.s. Anyone else think Vector sounds like a crazy, drunken, defective one of those "Talk To Yoda" toys??

 
(@shadow-hog_1722585725)
Posts: 4607
Famed Member
 

I see what you mean, Psx. Still, that's pretty pathetic. Why the crap won't they let you move the camera when the platform you're on is moving? That leaves a HUGE blind spot...

Game goes back at 6PM tomorrow, but since I have to leave for a UMCP class that lasts from 1PM-5PM, I only really get to play it until noon. I've only gotten 6/10 endings (7/10 when I finish up Diablon), and I think I can say with some certainty that this game is very poorly designed. It's not the concept that's really the problem - the guns usually work rather well, fortunately - it's the execution.

Let's review what I've experienced, shall we?

  • Poor, DC-quality graphics, with slowdown.
  • Unmemorable music and sounds.
  • Lousy voice-acting.
  • Twitchy controls.
  • A VERY unreliable move, Triangle Jump, that tends to fling you into the pit on your last jump.
  • Tedious, boring "objective" setup.
  • Mediocre story with an... interesting plot twist. (But it's not like you need to play the game to learn of it.)
  • Messed-up alignment setup; allies attack you like enemies, no matter your alliance.
  • Bad targetting setup; difficult to attack who you want to, no distinction between allies and foes.
  • Heavily linear levels, or otherwise obtusely confusing NON-linear levels that wind you up in circles.
  • Awful, awful camera that won't go up or down, or move at all at times, making it hard to determine where to go next.
  • Why can't I aim the weapons up or down at times, eh?
  • "Destroy this flying pod thingy" missions suck.
  • Having characters constantly yell down your back is very annoying in this kind of game.
  • Mr. Yuji Naka is alright.
  • "This is WHO I AM" is a rather corny line, no?
  • A radar of some sort for those hunting missions would've helped very nicely. It honestly feels like only SA1 got hunting right...
  • Andy Asteroids' music from Earthworm Jim: Special Edition is catchy.
  • Bottomless pits. That's NO good.
  • Sonic Robo Blast 2 is STILL the best 3D Sonic game, personally. Since that's not official, SA1 will have to do, and it fits the bill quite nicely.
  • Diablon can be frustrating.
  • I really don't like the whole Eclipse Cannon deal. Can we go back to NOT trying to kabosh the planet, please?
  • Sonic the Hedgehog (tentative title) had better be good. REALLY good. And hopefully for a console I'll actually own, but I'm still undecided on that mark.
  • I wonder how much of this list actually means anything.
  • I like Burger King.
  • So yeah, those are my thoughts right now. I'd particularly like to emphasize the Andy Asteroids one. I'm listening to it right now. How many games do you get to listen to hoedown music in, let alone doing it while flying through a wormhole of some sort and out-racing a space-traveling bird? I thought so.

     
    (@matt7325)
    Posts: 1446
    Noble Member
     

    Quote:


    Messed-up alignment setup; allies attack you like enemies, no matter your alliance.


    I think they left it like that because it'd be too easy to just switch alignments when it was convenient - like, you're about to go throw a big patch of Black Arms, so you switch to the "evil mission" setting. It's either that or Sega's just lazy.

    Quote:


    "Destroy this flying pod thingy" missions suck.


    They're not too hard, you just need to attack at every chance possible... take time to stock up with guns as you go along. If it's any help, dying lets you start back at a checkpoint, but the tank's health will still be at the level it was before you died.

    Quote:


    Andy Asteroids' music from Earthworm Jim: Special Edition is catchy.


    I was about to spaz out and ask where in Shadow that was played, until I realised. =p

     
    (@craig-bayfield)
    Posts: 4885
    Illustrious Member
     

    Funny thing about the enemies is that they DID program a "Don't attack" into the ARK level before GUN went bad and Westopolis.

    If they were going to program in "DON'T ATTACK" into levels like those 2, why not into the story relevant ones, like GUN Fortress. I'm sorry but double dark ending where you're running in to finish the job, Black Arms should not attack.

     
    (@spork-fetish)
    Posts: 109
    Estimable Member
     

    I hate this game for all the reasons SH posted and more. This game is just plain bad. Mediocre graphics, poor controls, horribly linear levels, bad storyline... and the gameplay mechanics AGH THE GAMEPLAY MECHANICS.

    Worst "Sonic" game I've ever played. Period.

    I'd love to go into more detail, but as previously stated, SH hit the nail on the head.

     
    (@swifthom_1722585705)
    Posts: 859
    Prominent Member
     

    But it alwyas bugs me when people say, IT'S BAD, PERIOD...
    That REALLY gets my temper flarring, so in the cause of debate I will unscrew SH's nail, not all theway but just a little bit. there's no question this game could of been better, but i honestly believe it's a 110% above Heroes...

    So:

    >Poor, DC-quality graphics, with slowdown.
    Hmm, graphics were slightly better than Heroes and I seem to remember people complimenting it's graphics??? Also, I dont recall any slowdown, maybe on the PS2 version but not the one I was playing.

    >Unmemorable music and sounds.
    In game musics, yes, but the theme songs are brilliant. For the first time ever I've actually got away with playing it while my friends are listening (excluding all hail Shadow)

    >Lousy voice-acting.
    Hit and miss, there are some gems. Eggman is great and FOR THE FIRST TIME we have a decent Tails voice!

    >Twitchy controls.
    Deliberately so, not SO twichy its hard to control, and I like the freedom of movement

    >A VERY unreliable move, Triangle Jump, that tends to fling you into the pit on your last jump.
    Never failed me, it seems to only affect half of the people who play the game? Also, THAT point, your NOT SUPPOSED to do the last jump, your supposed to run off the edge...

    >Tedious, boring "objective" setup.
    Only some levels are tedius, and once you've played through it once you can do a nutral on most levels

    >Mediocre story with an... interesting plot twist. (But it's not like you need to play the game to learn of it.)
    Decent story with mediocre unveiling, but not only an interesting plot twist an interesting (and original) way of presenting it

    >Messed-up alignment setup; allies attack you like enemies, no matter your alliance.
    Thats explained IN PLOT, well, it is if you go for Hero mode. The GUN commander tells his men to attack you regardess, to win them over you have to heal them. Therefore,as your a hero the aliens attack you, as your a wanted criminal GUN forces attack you, simple.

    >Bad targetting setup; difficult to attack who you want to, no distinction between allies and foes.
    It doesnt make a large difference, and there ARE targeting set ups. Generally you do find yourself hitting something IF there's something to shoot at.

    >Heavily linear levels, or otherwise obtusely confusing NON-linear levels that wind you up in circles.
    Those non linear levels have a simple path to follow from one objective to the next. And I thought you'd be pelased, there are no bottomless pits of doom in said levels...

    >Awful, awful camera that won't go up or down, or move at all at times, making it hard to determine where to go next.
    Awfull camera 10% of the time, the rest of the time leave it well enough alone and it wont bother you.

    >Why can't I aim the weapons up or down at times, eh?
    Because if you need to shoot up or down it'll do it for you, otherwise your out of range so stop wasting ammo and move somewhere thats IN rane.

    >"Destroy this flying pod thingy" missions suck.
    Nah, their great... Not hard at all, and if you DONT want to destroy it you DONT HAVE TO.

    >Having characters constantly yell down your back is very annoying in this kind of game.
    Same for Heroes, also, you can switch between them if one voice annoys you. Black Doom and Eggman rarely speak much above whispers and sometimes it's poossible to loose both of them and have Shadow talk himself when you hit a hint point, but that rarely lasts for very long

    >Mr. Yuji Naka is alright.
    What... He is... He'ss alright, not great I'll grant you but he's all right.

    >"This is WHO I AM" is a rather corny line, no?
    Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt, depends on which ending.

    >A radar of some sort for those hunting missions would've helped very nicely. It honestly feels like only SA1 got hunting right...
    Generally, there are only a few which ARENT on the main path your following, so it's quite easy to get them all in one go. And also, half the tme your (so called ANNOYING) helper actually HELPS by pointing them out to you.

    >Andy Asteroids' music from Earthworm Jim: Special Edition is catchy.
    Never played earthworm jim, is it any good?

    >Bottomless pits. That's NO good.
    No, but as beforementioned, circular levels are mercifully free of them.

    >Sonic Robo Blast 2 is STILL the best 3D Sonic game, personally. Since that's not official, SA1 will have to do, and it fits the bill quite nicely.
    Are you kidding, the controls on SRB2 suck, it's almost impossible to control yourself... Hang on, you said Shadow's controls were loose (Ie. Twitchy) SRB2's are twice as much, and it's almost impossible to turn around

    >Diablon can be frustrating.
    Nah, I've beaten him in around 48 seconds

    >I really don't like the whole Eclipse Cannon deal. Can we go back to NOT trying to kabosh the planet, please?
    SPOILER: You'll need to finish the game Shadow Hog, but Black Doom has something a bit more... not original but... his plan ISNT just to blow the planet up, it's not a rip of star wars it's a rip off the..... *muffled*

    >Sonic the Hedgehog (tentative title) had better be good. REALLY good. And hopefully for a console I'll actually own, but I'm still undecided on that mark.
    Yes, thats true, but it has no bearing on this game

    >I wonder how much of this list actually means anything.
    Not a bad ratio SH, not bad at all

    >I like Burger King.
    I dont, but I also dislike McDonals, does that make me a KFC man by default?

     
    (@sonic332)
    Posts: 721
    Prominent Member
     

    Best thing I can say about this game: It has Sonic.

    Worst thing I can say about this game: That Sonic being in it is the best thing I can say about it.

    All in all, a decent game, but not up to most people's expectations (judging by the reviews I'm seeing; I think it's okay, nothing more to be said).

     
    (@chibibecca_1722585688)
    Posts: 3291
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    i'm currently having problems with the hero mission when you're in the digital world (shadow.exe? :p ) as you need to hit the coloured panels to make them change colour. the only problem is that you need to jump to hit one of then, but the platform moves on underneath you and you fall to your death.
    yay for bottomless pits.

    it's either that, or my aiming stills just suck. i've gotten too used to automatic locking on in PSO, and the wonderful multi lock-on omega had in SA1. why couldn't they have given us more weapons with that feature?

     
    (@psxphile_1722027877)
    Posts: 5772
    Illustrious Member
     

    Regarding Mad Matrix, if you're talking about what I think you're talking about, you don't have to try hitting the top colored block, just change the other ones below to the same color as the top one. As long as all the colors match, it doesn't matter what color you choose to match.

     
    (@matt7325)
    Posts: 1446
    Noble Member
     

    Quote:


    i'm currently having problems with the hero mission when you're in the digital world (shadow.exe? ) as you need to hit the coloured panels to make them change colour. the only problem is that you need to jump to hit one of then, but the platform moves on underneath you and you fall to your death.
    yay for bottomless pits.


    Try shooting them, if you're talking about what I think you are.

     
    (@spite_1722585799)
    Posts: 439
    Reputable Member
     

    Now that I think about it, Shadow is a lot of the N64 game Yoshis Story. It had 6 worlds, and depending on how you prgress through the game you'd end up in one of 4 levels in the next world. But you only needed to finish six levels to complete the game, and if you wanted the other levels you had to meet certain conditions in each world by playing through it again (I forget what they are).

    Yoshis Story was also a let-down because of that structure, it made it too easy. Branching paths would be good if it didn't make the game so short. >_<

     
    (@gyserhog)
    Posts: 1241
    Noble Member
     

    Alright. I finished every single ending mere hours ago, and now, you all get my review. Hoorah. =P

    WARNING: POSSIBLE MAJOR SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT!!!!

    Gameplay - 6/7 out of 10
    It feels a lot like the other 3D Sonic games, in that there are some good moves, but often poorly executed. The gun mechanics system is rather hit and miss, quite literally. I have been pointing DIRECTLY at an enemy, yet my shot will fly off to the side, while their shot hits directly. >>

    The controls felt pretty normal. No major improvements over any other 3D Sonic game.

    The whole Good and Evil thing was alright. Some of the missions are a dead set pain though, most notably destroying all the Artificial Chaos on board the ARK. >>

    Graphics - 7 out of 10
    I'm being really generous here. The graphics barely stand up to what the Dreamcast was capable of. The only outstanding thing was the CG cut-scenes, and even those weren't mind-blowingly impressive. Come on guys, you're capable of more than this.

    Sound - 8 out of 10
    Once again, the team do not dissapoint with amazing music tracks, Cosmic Fall especially. The tracks from outside artists are really good. The only things that stop sound from getting a perfect score, is ALOT of the voice acting. Most of is really badly acted, with only Pollock and Schemmel sounding like they know what they are doing (Both as actors, and characters).

    Bonus points for re-using the House Of The Head gun shot noise though. =P

    Comparisons
    - Better than Heroes
    - Worse than Sonic Adventure (Better than Bigs adventure though)
    - Equal to SA2s Son/Shad levels, better than the rest of SA2

    Boss fights
    Perfect Chaos>Final Hazard>Devil Doom/Metal Overlord

    OVERALL
    7 out of 10

    While it was a fun little game, it could have been a lot more polished instead of being rushed out for Christmas. If you plan on buying this game, don't expect too much from it or you will be dissapointed.

     
    (@chibibecca_1722585688)
    Posts: 3291
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    i think you're thinking of the same part as me there, yes.

    i've finally got past that part and am now faced with the bottomless pit of death 'use these blocks to get the the other side!' (dash across and fall short? attempt the wall jump?) in the red terminal which i'll sort out in a matter of minutes.

    but they only had to match? blast, that would've saved me tons of times of jumping, shooting and falling off the platform. thanks, i'll use that when i run out of lives and have to play this level over from the start again. ^^;

    Edit: hah, wall jump. oo

     
    (@the-turtle-guy)
    Posts: 3756
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    Quote:


    and the wonderful multi lock-on omega had in SA1


    Since when was Omega in SA1? =D *gunned*

     
    (@sonic332)
    Posts: 721
    Prominent Member
     

    I think you mean "Gamma"!;)

    EDIT: BTW, this is my 60th post! WOOHOO!!!!!!

     
    (@the-turtle-guy)
    Posts: 3756
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    Yay for noobies! *pat*

     
    (@chibibecca_1722585688)
    Posts: 3291
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    it's a robot with a greek alphabet name, i nearly got it right. >>;

     
    (@sonic332)
    Posts: 721
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    I guess that's true!:lol

     
    (@the-turtle-guy)
    Posts: 3756
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    This review likes the game.

     
    (@craig-bayfield)
    Posts: 4885
    Illustrious Member
     

    Fan-site reviews have bias and thusly cannot be trusted. Unless it's an official reviewer or someone who is here and can argue their points themselves, it doesn't count.

     
    (@spork-fetish)
    Posts: 109
    Estimable Member
     

    Gamespot, I believe, has the most reliable reviews.

    Their score for Shadow the Hedgehog? See for yourself.

     
    (@the-turtle-guy)
    Posts: 3756
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    Heh. I over heard a kid talking about Shadow sitting in front of me in the bus today. Kinda like "Then I had to beat all the bosses on hero and dark. Man, you could get a rocket launcher and cars and stuff. It's like Sonic with GTA. I was suprised there wasn't strippers."

    ...

    XD

     
    (@sonic332)
    Posts: 721
    Prominent Member
     

    Isn't Rouge bad ENOUGH?!?!?
    EDIT: As I said in another post, Void is the only character nearly as broody as Shadow. I also posted this little joke I made up:

    Void: Let's start an Angsty McBroodBrood Club!

    Shadow: MARIAAAA!!!!!!
    .... Okay, I'm in!

     
    (@sandygunfox)
    Posts: 3468
    Famed Member
     

    Is there any place that, without some freakin' membership, I cna get Mp3s of All Hail Shadow, Never Turn Back, Waking Up, and Almost Dead?

    I have a poorly-recorded (Quality fine, but cut off badly at the end) full version of I Am and I have a good quality Mp3 of Chosen One, courtesy of Shendu. o.o Email or IM me for 'em.

    drewdex2@hotmail.com

    MSN: Same as email adress
    Y!M: sonicx667
    AIM: SX Kitsune

     
    (@spite_1722585799)
    Posts: 439
    Reputable Member
     

    I'm working my way through the A ranks, I only need 15 more. But I'm stuck on Space Gadget. The Hero Mission is to get to the chaos emerald (presumably Sonic is racing you... would've been nice if you actually saw him), and the Normal Mission is to get to the chaos emerald. But whenever I have have it set to the Normal Mission, and reach the chaos emerald, it finishes the level as if I was doing the Hero mission.

    Can anyone tell what I'm doing wrong?

     
    (@swifthom_1722585705)
    Posts: 859
    Prominent Member
     

    Go to Hero misison, there's a timer at the top of the screen, to do normal you have to WAIT until it's finished until you grab the emerald...

    It's a level you can afford to take your time and gather points by getting rings and doing stuff on...

     
    (@matt7325)
    Posts: 1446
    Noble Member
     

    So I remember hearing that they're be other characters playable (even if just in 2P mode); as well as the ability to reverse time. Anyone found anything like this in the game, or was it a scrapped idea?

     
     THS
    (@ths)
    Posts: 3666
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    If there is a way of reversing time, I don't know of it..the closest thing is either using Chaos Control, which effectively zooms you through to level past everything for as long as it lasts out for, and, well, dying and going back to a checkpoint, reverting as far in the level as you previously was. o.o

     
    (@craig-bayfield)
    Posts: 4885
    Illustrious Member
     

    I think that was a mis-quote of Sega mentioning that 2 of the levels take place on the ARK 50 years ago. It doesn't affect the present beyond making Shadow more or less peeved at humanity.

     
    (@spite_1722585799)
    Posts: 439
    Reputable Member
     

    Thanks Swifthorn, I have all A ranks now!!

    The rewards are never worth it. What happened to cool stuff like unlocking Metal Sonic, and Green Hill Zone in 3D for all your hard work? Unlimited ammo for repeat playing would've been good, or some other playable characters. But the completist in me would never be satisfied until I finished it... but the problem with Shadow is, it's never finished. Besides the keys, there's still the 300+ stories to unlock. I didn't think anything could be worse than having to get all emblems in SA2, but playing through Shadow over 300 times definitely does it for me.

    Has anyone been insane enough to get all stories? I'm just wondering if there's an actual reward, I mean there should be. Damn Sonic Team, why did they even have to number all possible paths?

    I'll wait for an FAQ on all paths before I attempt it.

     
    (@sonic332)
    Posts: 721
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    At least they didn't do it to a mainstream Sonic game!

     
    (@nightingale)
    Posts: 73
    Trusted Member
     

    SX: Have you tried SoaH? The older games aren't up yet, but Shadow is.

     
    (@sandygunfox)
    Posts: 3468
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    Yes, I have. I don't have a File Planet subscription.

     
    (@shadow-hog_1722585725)
    Posts: 4607
    Famed Member
     

    Then get one; it's free.

     
    (@matt7325)
    Posts: 1446
    Noble Member
     

    Don't worry about getting all 300+ paths. Some people on GameFAQS have done it, and all you get is your Shadow rifle upgraded to Level 2. (Not to mention about a solid month of your life stolen away from you)

     
    (@psxphile_1722027877)
    Posts: 5772
    Illustrious Member
     

    Shadow Rifle is the ultimate cheese, I can't believe there'd be a need for a "level 2". Lack of ammo is the only thing going against it, but when you can kill most enemies with only one shot insufficient ammo doesn't seem like such a dire issue.

     
    (@chibibecca_1722585688)
    Posts: 3291
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    *tugs her hair out at the final boss, keeps dieing before she gets it's HP down halfway*

     
    (@sandygunfox)
    Posts: 3468
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    Becca, Spoilers (Select To Read): Chaos Spear the ruins surrounding him until you hit a ton of rings.

    No it isn't, it keeps asking me to pay like $5 a month or a year or something.

     
    (@shadow-hog_1722585725)
    Posts: 4607
    Famed Member
     

    Quote:


    No it isn't, it keeps asking me to pay like $5 a month or a year or something.


    It shouldn't; it DOES advertise benefits for paying $5 a month or a year or something, but it's entirely unnecessary. Trust me, I've been downloading crap from them for years now, and I haven't ponied up a cent.

     
    (@sandygunfox)
    Posts: 3468
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    Uh...I'm gonna look real stupid for saying this, but here goes.

    I recently remembered I DO have an account. Still can't fond the free member page, but I do have one...So I'm not looking. Anyway, email me if any of ya want the Mp3s.

     
    (@shadowfax272)
    Posts: 81
    Trusted Member
     

    Whenever you go to download something, scroll down to the 'non-members can use these on a day-to-day basis' servers and use those. The other ones require you to get a premium account, for which you must pay. The others are free.

    Finally got this game on Sunday. I'm loving it.
    BTW, if you skip the credits, do you still get the songs from the credits in your library, or do you have to listen to them the whole way through? Because my brother keeps skipping the credits, and I really love those songs...

    EDIT: Is it just me, or does Final Haunt's BGM sound like the Macarena?

     
    (@chibibecca_1722585688)
    Posts: 3291
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    i've been doing that SX, but i know the boss shouldn't take over 10 minutes to defeat.
    but very few of my attacks seem to hit, dispite knowing where the weak point is and what attack hits it.

     
    (@cyberknux_1722585730)
    Posts: 286
    Reputable Member
     

    "If you skip the credits, do you still get the songs from the credits in your library, or do you have to listen to them the whole way through? Because my brother keeps skipping the credits, and I really love those songs..."

    I skipped the credits and still unlocked the songs in sound test. I have the Xbox version, though I sincerely doubt it'd be any different for the PS2 and GCN versions :)

    "I've been doing that SX, but i know the boss shouldn't take over 10 minutes to defeat.
    but very few of my attacks seem to hit, despite knowing where the weak point is and what attack hits it."

    Hm.. only thing I can suggest is getting really close to his face when you attack (with either the small shots or powered up attack. Don't worry about him lashing out at you) and firing like crazy (if you're only using small shots) so that if he buggers off, you'll destroy any obstacles that are auto-targeted quickly and manage to shoot him before he's out of range. Dunno, might be of use if you're not alerady doing that.

     
    (@sandygunfox)
    Posts: 3468
    Famed Member
     

    Becca, attack the debris to build up Chaos abilities, that should help. Otherwise, just keep attacking. Strike fast, before he flees. Took me only three minutes. Also, Action Replays for GC run for maybe $20 and there are probably codes out now.

    Also, the Mp3s at SoaH are all .zip'd. Some have pretty bad quality, mainly All Hail Shadow and the full I Am (All Of Me). Slight distortion on Never Turn Back. If you consider it good news...the Powerman 5k one is fine. So is Chosen One. Good news: Julien-K's Waking Up is fine too. And if you hadn't heard it yet: It's from the guys that made This Machine, and it's better than that one, IMO...

     
    (@crazy-cham-lea_1722585730)
    Posts: 622
    Honorable Member
     

    Quote:


    but very few of my attacks seem to hit, dispite knowing where the weak point is and what attack hits it.


    The important thing is to be within the right range. If you're close enough (but not too too close, he'll likely use Chaos Control to move away in that case), the attacks should hit automatically; it's a matter of managing to get within the correct range, not aiming. You might wanna try charging up Chaos Spear first and then quickly boost in close.

     
    (@hiro0015)
    Posts: 2915
    Famed Member
     

    What's wrong with SoaH's full I am All of Me? I thought it sounded fine...

     
    (@nytlocthehedgehog)
    Posts: 170
    Estimable Member
     

    Okay. I was checking through my Game Informer I got a few days ago and found the Shadow review. That has got to be the single-most WORST-written review I have EVER heard. And trust me, I've seen some pretty DANGED bad reviews.

    Lemme give you some examples...

    Concept: Paint the ol' hedgehog black, stick a gun in his hand, and send him on a suicide mission.

    Okay. You can mock the guns if you wish. I have no judgement, and really thought it a moot point... But failing to mention anything about the dozens of remakable weapons, and making this seem unredeemingly hard surely has little to do with the basis of this game. It was actually one of the easiest Sonic games...

    Graphics: Could this series actually be deteriorating graphically? It seems even worse than Sonic Heroes. Also, the PS2 framerate is just not acceptable.

    Dunno anything about the PS2 version, but honestly. What the heck can you do to make a three-foot tall hedgehog 'next-gen?' Sprout ten-thousand hairs on his head, each with their own polygonal count? The graphics have maybe not been amplified a lot since SA, but geez. You fail to mention anything about the mostly destructable environments, or the next-to-superb CGI.

    Sound: The nu-metal song in the opening movie lets you know what your in for: aural hell.

    First off, let me explain something to you Mr. Game Informer man. Take it away, Tails!

    *watches as Tails forms a giant sign that proclaims, 'Sonic Sez,' and then Sonic runs up and repaints it to say 'Sonic Says.'*

    Sonic: Hey, boys and girls. This is Sonic, and today I'm here to tell you about grammar. Make sure that you always use 'who' and 'whom' in the right sentence structure, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS make sure you use 'you're' in the right way when writing a professional gaming magazine, especially if your review already sucks.

    Thanks for that, Sonic and Tails. Anyway... Yeah. The songs are rather varied, Mr. Game Informer, man. They've got hard and soft(er) rock, and heavy metal. Heck, they redid some of the older series' music. Honestly, the Sonic series has the best musical score ever. 'The ability to speak doesn't make you intellegent.'

    Playability: Shadow controls like a drunk on ice skates, and the homing attack often throws you off a cliff.

    Yeah. Hey, Mr. Game Informer man. Mind if I strap some rockets to your shoes and see how well YOU manuever!? Shadow has always had lousy control. Check Battle. He has to take a whole half-a-second to stop the skidding. And honestly, guys... have you ever homing-attacked your way off a side before? I sure haven't.

    Entertainment: Seriously, I don't know if the Sonic series can ever recover from this debacle.

    Oh. Sure. Let's ignore the fact that Sonic Heroes was at the top of the Gamecube charts for a whole two months. And Sonic Battle got up to the second spot in the gameboy advance. Who cares if both Sonic Adventures made it to the Gamecube's greatest hits? Pshaaaaw. You can stuff your logic; they're obviously failing no matter how many millions of copies they sell.

    And, the cream-de-la-crem: (However you spell that)

    Replay Value: Low.

    Congratulations. I am now going to use a abbreviation; one I'd usually find blasphemic at most... OMFG. O_O

    LOW REPLAY VALUE!? WHAT THE FREAKING HECK!? There are THREE-HUNDRED AND SIXTY ONE ENDINGS!!!!! MORE BONUSES THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A STICK AT!!! Please, please, Mr. Game Informer man... Stop speaking. Your words suck the already little amount of I.Q. out of my head. You're like a void upon which all knowledge is lost.

    If you'll excuse me... I'll go and bash my head into a wall 361 times.

    Edit: Fixed an odd choice of words. 'Shadow must stop the skidmarks? OH NOES!' And a sentence structure.

    ~Nytloc Penumbral Lightkeeper

     
    (@shadowaldrius)
    Posts: 222
    Estimable Member
     

    *Scratch is pounding a piece of paper with a pencil* "Uh... your! Their!"

    Sonic: No Scratch! It's You're and They're!!!

    Scratch: Whoo! Thanks Sonic, I don't know where I'd be without you!

    Dr. Robotnik: And now for my latest evil plot! Re-writing the dictionary!

    *Ahem* *Cough* That'll be all.

     
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