>>> Might as well win the keys now, what good is it carrying around the other two's weapons.

>>>Poker? That's a girls game. You know how real men solve this.

Crack out the Yu-Gi-Oh!

>>>> Nonsense! Pokemon cards!

>>Who needs established games? Make up your own!

Show up for poker, suggest 52 Card Pickup instead, then steal the keys while they're busy.

Violet Whirlwind wrote:

---

>>Who needs established games? Make up your own!

You decide that now would be a wise time to go and rescue the rest of your team via the game of cards you have previously planned with the guards. Afterall, you have no idea what to expect further on in the troll's caverns or just what exactly their boss is like... you could probably do with all the help you could get. You make your way back to the cell entrances, being fortunate enough not to meet any more of the strange troll populace. Elgra is latched onto your arm the entire time, squeezing it tightly with love. It'd be pretty cute if it didn't hurt so damn much. Ow.

"Hey there, guys," you welcome the two guards again. "About time for our game, I'd say, wouldn't you?"

The poker brothers seem pleased by your return, albeit a bit surprised that you're back so early. "Well our shift hasn't finished yet." says Brother 1. "We can't really play until our shift ends and we're replaced by the next two guards."

"Pssht!" you pssht loudly. "It's not like the prisoners are gonna get out of their cells, right? That'd be ridiculous. Besides, who can possibly wait to gamble? We're all eager to go right now!"

"Gotta say, bro, I'm with this guy." Brother 2 eagerly replies. "I really wanna get my poker mojo on now."

"Oh well, I suppose you're right. Let's go do it inside the cells. Oh, but we'd need someone to pretend to guard for us outside..." Brother 1 concedes.

"Well, how about Elgra here? She's a troll like you guys, so she'd be pretty unmistakable. Plus she's ridiculously strong, so I don't think anyone would give her grief." You suggest, looking to Elgra for acknowledgement. She blushes, happy about the compliment of her strength, but at the same time a bit upset.

"But baby! I don't want to be seperated from you for even a second. =((((" She looks almost close to tears. You monster.

"But sweety, you'd be doing me a big favour here. Please?" You think fast. "I promise to make it up to you."

"Well, okay then! ^____________^"

Wow. That didn't take much work. Well, okay.

You, Scratchio, Lady Victorious and the Poker Brothers 1 and 2 enter the prison cells. Viste Bueno and Groll are surprised to see you back so quickly, and are quite worried that you've already been recaptured. But, never fear, you have a plan most distinctly cunning, for you are a very incredibly cunning man, oh yes.

"So what game are we playing exactly, guys?" Poker Brother 1 asks. "Texas Hold'em? 5 card stud? Or-"

"It's a famous game from my friend Scratchio here's homeland." You reply, pointing over your shoulder to the werewolfhuman beast man thingamajig. "It's called high card knockout."

"High card knockout?" Brother 2 asks incredulously, as he and his brother begin to set up a table and chairs for all participants.

"Right. I'll explain it as we go along. Here, let's begin." You seat yourself at the small table, and take a deck of cards from Brother 1 into your inventory. You use the cards, shuffling them and then dealing them out face down. Each contestant takes them card, looking at them. "Now, we show each other our card." Everyone puts their card down. Brother 1 has an Ace, you have a King, Lady Victorious a Queen, Scratchio an 8 and Brother 2 a 4.

"Now what happens?" Brother 1 asks.

"Well, you drew the highest card, so that means you lose. We hit you until you're literally knocked out. Like this." with that, you and your team begin pounding the snot out of Brother 1 to no defense. After a good couple of minutes the troll is completely unconscious and knocked out of the game.

"Wow, this is a pretty intense game, huh?" Brother 2 asks. You nod, take back the cards, reshuffle and redeal. After each player has their card, they show them.

Again, you have a King and Lady Victorious has a Queen. Scratchio now has a 10, and Brother 2 has been dealt a 2.

"Oh, wow, bummer man. Looks like you lost." Brother 2 notices.

"Nope, that's not how the game works. This time it's whoever has the lowest card that loses. The game takes turn splitting between high and low card. That's the rule, I'm afraid." You explain.

"Wow, bummer for me then, man." Brother 2 says, before being pounded into unconsciousness by you and your team. You take the cell keys off their bodies, and with them, unlock the cell doors for Viste Bueno and Groll. After rescuing them, you exit the prison cells and rejoin with Elgra. She and Groll are a bit surprised to see each other, but both recognise each other as being incredibly awesome and smart for joining you. Radical. YOUR PARTY HAS BEEN REFORMED!

Now, it's time to decide what to do next. You could decide to try and accomplish your initial mission in finding this captured woman, or you could decide to try and retrieve your entire group's weapons from the storage room. You are, after all, beginning to miss the companionship of your awesome steampunkgunbladeguitar™. Or, you know, you could go and do something else completely.

>>> What do you do next?

OOC: Long post is long =o

>>>> Prop the unconscious guards outside and begin looking for you weapon. You also feel slightly hungry. Maybe Elgra can give you a demonstration of her supposedly awesome cooking?

>>> Have Groll and Elgra dress as the guards and then go retrieve your weapons. Also have her make you a sandwich while you're at it, if she's going to be your girl she needs to be ready to make one at all times.

>>> Let your teammates come up with a plan for once. You're tired of doing always having to think ahead for everyone.

CTSucks 666 wrote:

---

>>> Let your teammates come up with a plan for once. You're tired of doing always having to think ahead for everyone.

You decide its about time your companions actually do something for once. I mean, geez, you've been having to do all the thinking and planning for like, 109 posts now. The least they could do is actually contribute a plan or something. You know?

"So, anyone got any suggestions what we should do next?" you ask.

"Wait, you're actually letting us decide for once?" Lady Victorious responds in surprise. "Isn't it obvious, anyway. We should get back our weapons. Are you dense?"

"Don't call my sweetie-poo a dunce! >=(" Elgra snaps in. Lady Victorious just rolls her eyes.

"Moving on, I'd have to agree with our lovely clothes lacking companion here," Viste Bueno moves on. "We should rather go and fetch our weapons. After all what good would be unequipped? And not to forget you have quite an incredibl weapon if I do say so myself, sir."

Got an incredible weapon. Ha, hell yeah you do.

With that decided, you have Elgra and Groll lead you to the storage equipment where your weapons have been, well, stored. You root around in there for a good five minutes and eventually find your steampunkgunbladeguitar™ whilst your companions retrieve their own acquired weapons. Suddenly, everything feels so much more right in the world.

"Now I do believe, my erstwhile companions, that its actually time to accomplish our mission and to retrieve the fair maiden that has been kidnapped here!" Viste Bueno exclaims.

"Wait! Scratchio find something very important in storage cupboard! Come friends, come look at what Scratchio found!" The werebeasthuman thingybob exclaims. You're not really sure you have time to waste on little trinkets that Scratchio of all people might have found, but you suppose you can spare the minute to look. Just as long as the damn guy actually found something useful.

>>> What is it that Scratchio has found in the storage equipment?

>>> Fake dog poo, you don't know why but you think it might just come in handy later.

>>>> I concur with Swanson's fake dog poo. You couldn't be more proud of him. No really, you couldn't. You've tried.

>>>It is something so unimaginably horrible
so dastardly
that you cannot bear to look at it without turning your manly self away a moment after.
it's...
it's...
...SO EVIL!

>>>It is something so unimaginably horrible
so dastardly
that you cannot bear to look at it without turning your manly self away a moment after.
it's...
it's...
...SO EVIL!

A copy of Pride And Prejudice? (The book)

>>> A fake mustache that can be equipped for +250 to your manliness stat.

A copy of Pride And Prejudice? (The book)

No.
More evil than that...
So evil it cannot be described.

No.
More evil than that...
So evil it cannot be described.

No.
More evil than that...
So evil it cannot be described.
Sounds like fake dog poo.

Have you actually read Pride And Prejudice? Technically I only read maybe half of it. I stared into that abyss and haven't been able to come fully back out since.

Sounds like fake dog poo.

You watch in mild anxiousness and trepidation as Scratchio reveals what he found. He holds up a bag of some strange, brown substance. You're not sure what exactly it is until you take a closer inspection and then the smell begins to affect you. Dog poo. Lovely.

"Why on earth did you pick that up?" you ask. The rest of your companions are similarly unimpressed. Lady Victorious walks some distance away, Viste Bueno takes off his hat to try and cover his nose, and Groll and Elgra are both just standing around, stupified. You guess that troll biology makes them immune to the disgusting smell.

"No, Scratchio finds very important item underneath fake poo!" Scratchio remarks, turnin around to pick up the real item, and throwing the bag of dog poo over his shoulder. It lands in Viste's hat. The swine!

"This is what Scratchio find! Very important weapon! Makes enemies feel instant despair!" Scratchio exclaim, holding up a book. The title reads 'Pride and Predjudice'. You haven't read the books so you can't be sure of the contents, and you're not exactly sure if Scratchio's words are trustworthy or correct, but whatever. If it'll humour him to take it along so they continue their quest then so be it. Let's go.

"Let's go." You say. With that, you and your companions march on through the troll caverns.

With Groll and Elgra leading you, you find yourselves well on the way towards the Troll leader's room, avoiding all of the guard patrols and other members of the troll society. This is like, hack, man. This is warp pipe levels of awesome.

Unfortunately, the only way into the Troll leader's room is guarded by the same uptight, irritating Troll guard you were caught by earlier; Knell. He notices your arrival. He is naturally surprised, but upon seeing Elgra manages to put two and two together and make five. She naturally freed them all and has joined you. You must all be stopped, even if by death.

The man is an undescribable force of nature fit only to guard the Troll leader. But then again, you're more than a force of nature. And've you got the power of friendship!

BATTLE TIME!!

>>> What do you do next?

>>>> Kick him in the bollocks and smack him in the face with the dog poo. That'll make friends! =D

>>> Rock his face off with a hardcore rock song not heard since Led Zepplin broke up

>>> Forget my idea. Go with Swanson's!