Link: My word, I am rather bored of life these days.
King: My child, the peaceful times we are privy to in this day and age are of the sort that all famous warriors fought tooth and nail for!
Link: I know what you mean, my friend, but I wonder what that dreadful fellow Ganon is doing whilst we blissfully ignore his very existence!
Gwonam: Your royal majesty, I regret to inform you that the forces of your former enemy, the dastardly Ganon, have attacked and taken over the island nation of Koridai.
King: Great Scott! How can we assist you with your plight, good sir?
Gwonam: Incidentally, the leaders of my nation have predicted that Link shall be the one to defeat that nasty bloke Ganon, and as such I am formally requesting his services.
Link: Indeed! I shall go gather my things, so that we may leave posthaste.
Gwonam: I regret that we are running on a tight schedule, sir. However, I do believe you shall find your sword alone will be more than satisfactory on your task ahead.
Link: Then it is so! Now, fair madam, I am about to embark on an important quest. Will you please endow me with a kiss, so that my quest may be a more fortunate one?
Zelda: My word, I've never heard such foolishness in my life! Surely you jest!
Gwonam: Squadilah, and thus our voyage begins!
Link: Good heavens, what is the meaning of these various heads on the mountains?
Gwonam: Old chap, these are the Faces of Evil! In order to succeed in your task, you must be victorious over them all!
Link: Well, I do say, I must be on my way, then!
Gwonam: I can take you to anywhere you need to, sir. Where on this map do you fancy a visit?

I blame #srb2fun